BLACK AND WHITE

DERRICK: STILL THE CRUSH

Chapter Two

Cracks Beneath The Surface

Vanessa’s fingers hovered over her phone, the screen glowing softly in the dim light of her bedroom. She stared at the message from Derrick, her heart pounding in a rhythm that felt both familiar and strange.

*Hey baibyyy, got time to talk?*

She blinked, biting her lip. The words felt electric, stirring a mixture of excitement and anxiety deep in her chest. She had been waiting for moments like this for weeks, but now that the moment was here, she wasn’t sure she was ready.

Her thumb hovered before she finally typed back: *Always for you.*

With a shaky breath, she pressed send, then set the phone aside. The silence in her room was thick, almost suffocating. Outside, the late afternoon sun dipped low, casting warm golden rays through the blinds. Vanessa curled into a ball on her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, her mind swirling with a thousand ‘what ifs.’

She thought about Derrick—the way his smile could light up a room, how his laughter was infectious, and the sudden moments when he seemed miles away, lost in thoughts he never shared. Was that what this message was about? Did he want to talk about those silences, those cracks she was starting to notice?

Her phone buzzed again. Another message from Derrick:

*Can we meet? I think it’s better to talk in person.*

Vanessa’s heart skipped. She typed quickly.

*Where? When?*

His reply came almost immediately.

*By the old oak tree in the park. Tonight?*

She nodded to herself, feeling a strange blend of hope and apprehension.

****

The rest of the day passed in a haze. Vanessa tried to focus on school, but her mind kept drifting back to Derrick’s messages. During lunch, she found herself wandering toward the art wing, a place where Derrick often spent his time.

There he was, sitting alone on the concrete steps outside the art room, sketchbook balanced on his knee. The sunlight caught his messy curls, but his eyes looked tired, distant.

“Hey,” Vanessa called softly, approaching.

Derrick looked up, startled, then smiled warmly.

“Hey,” he said, closing his sketchbook gently.

She sat down beside him, their shoulders brushing.

“You okay?” she asked, watching him carefully.

He shrugged, but there was a heaviness in his eyes. “Just tired,” he said quietly.

Vanessa didn’t press further, but she wanted to. She wanted to reach past the tiredness, past the mask of jokes and easy smiles, and find the Derrick beneath.

After a moment, Derrick spoke, his voice low.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m pretending.”

Vanessa blinked. “Pretending?”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. Like the jokes and smiles are all a front. It’s easier to make people laugh than to show what’s really going on inside.”

Her heart ached for him. She reached out, her hand finding his.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” she said softly.

Derrick looked at her, a flicker of gratitude in his eyes.

“Thanks,” he whispered.

****

That afternoon, Vanessa met Amaka at their favorite coffee shop—a cozy little place with mismatched chairs and the rich scent of coffee beans and cinnamon.

They settled into a corner booth, the sunlight streaming through the windows and casting a warm glow over the table.

“So,” Amaka said, leaning forward, eyes twinkling. “What’s really going on with Derrick? You look... different. Like you’re carrying something.”

Vanessa sighed, stirring her chai latte absentmindedly.

“He’s amazing,” she admitted, “but sometimes it feels like there’s a wall around him. Like I’m only allowed in a little way.”

Amaka nodded knowingly. “That’s tough. But you have to protect your heart too, Vanessa.”

“I know,” Vanessa said, biting her lip. “I’m scared of getting hurt again.”

Amaka reached across the table, squeezing her hand.

“Good,” she smiled. “Fear means you care.”

Vanessa laughed softly. “Thanks, Amaka. I needed that.”

****

The weekend stretched ahead, and Vanessa’s phone buzzed again.

*Derrick: Can we talk? I need to tell you something.*

Her heart raced as she read the message. What could it be? Was this the moment where everything changed?

They agreed to meet at the park near the old oak tree—the place where so many of their memories lived.

****

As night fell, Vanessa wrapped herself in a light jacket and headed to the park. The air was cool and crisp, the sky a deep navy speckled with stars.

She waited by the oak tree, its massive branches stretching wide and sheltering the quiet park bench beneath.

Minutes later, Derrick appeared, his face serious in the moonlight.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he began, voice low.

Vanessa’s heart pounded. “Tell me what?”

He took a deep breath. “There’s a lot about me that’s complicated.”

She nodded, urging him silently to go on.

“My dad left when I was little,” he said. “Mom works two jobs just to keep us afloat. I act like the funny guy because it’s easier than showing how much it hurts.”

Vanessa’s eyes softened. She reached out, taking his hand.

“Thank you for trusting me,” she said.

Derrick looked into her eyes, vulnerability raw and real.

“You don’t have to pretend with me either,” she whispered.

****

The moonlight filtered through the branches of the old oak tree, casting soft shadows on the ground as Derrick and Vanessa sat side by side on the bench. The park was quiet except for the distant hum of cars and the gentle rustle of leaves.

Vanessa tightened her grip on Derrick’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He shrugged, a tired smile ghosting his lips. “I guess I was scared. Scared you’d see me differently. That you wouldn’t want to deal with all the... complications.”

She shook her head gently. “You’re not a problem, Derrick. You’re not broken or less because of your past. I like you—no, I care about you—for who you are.”

Derrick’s eyes searched hers, the vulnerability shining through the usual humor.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning,” he admitted quietly. “Like I have to be strong all the time, for my mom, for my little brother. But I’m scared that if I let anyone see the real me, they’ll walk away.”

Vanessa’s heart ached. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. I’m here.”

For a few minutes, they sat in comfortable silence, the kind that spoke louder than words.

****

The days that followed were a mix of hope and uncertainty. Derrick seemed lighter after that night, but the heaviness never quite left him. Vanessa did her best to be patient, giving him space when he needed it, reaching out when he withdrew.

Still, the cracks began to show.

It started with small things—a missed text here, a canceled plan there. The easy rhythm they had seemed to falter.

One Friday afternoon, Vanessa waited at their usual spot near the school’s flagpole. She checked her phone repeatedly, the minutes ticking by.

Finally, Derrick appeared, a sheepish grin on his face.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said.

Vanessa smiled, relief flooding her. “It’s okay.”

They walked to the nearby café, chatting about classes and upcoming tests. But Vanessa noticed Derrick’s eyes kept darting to his phone, the conversation growing distracted.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed loudly. Derrick glanced at the screen, his face tightening.

Vanessa caught a glimpse of the message—a text from Maya Martinez.

She forced a smile. “Everything okay?”

Derrick nodded quickly. “Yeah, just school stuff.”

But Vanessa felt a pang in her chest. The thought of Derrick and Maya together unsettled her more than she wanted to admit.

****

That weekend, Vanessa confided in Amaka.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, stirring her coffee nervously. “Derrick’s been distant. And I saw him with Maya.”

Amaka raised an eyebrow. “Maya Martinez? The Maya Martinez?”

Vanessa nodded, biting her lip. “Yeah. They looked... close.”

Amaka leaned in. “You have to trust your gut, Vanessa. If something feels off, it probably is.”

Vanessa sighed. “I just want to believe in him. In us.”

Amaka smiled gently. “Sometimes, love isn’t enough.”

****

The next week was a whirlwind of mixed signals. Derrick was affectionate one moment, distant the next. Vanessa tried to hold onto the good times, but doubt crept in like a shadow.

One afternoon, walking home from school, Vanessa spotted Derrick laughing with Maya again. This time, they were too close to ignore.

Her breath caught. She wanted to run away but found herself frozen.

When Derrick noticed her, his smile faltered.

“Vanessa,” he said softly.

She looked down, voice barely a whisper. “Who is she?”

Derrick hesitated. “It’s complicated.”

Vanessa felt tears sting her eyes. “I thought you said you cared about me.”

He looked away, conflicted. “I do. But things aren’t always black and white.”

****

That night, Vanessa lay in bed, her mind a chaotic swirl of thoughts.

*Was she just a chapter in his story?*

Her phone lay on the nightstand, dark and silent.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, wiping away a tear.

Love, she realized, wasn’t simple.

At school the next day, Vanessa met Amaka between classes.

“I’m falling apart,” Vanessa confessed quietly.

Amaka wrapped her arm around Vanessa’s shoulder. “It hurts now, but you’re stronger than you think. You will get through this.”

Vanessa nodded, trying to believe her words.

The weeks stretched on, and Vanessa slowly began to see the cracks beneath the surface. Derrick’s promises sometimes felt empty, his apologies frequent.

She learned that first love wasn’t a fairy tale. It was messy and confusing.

And sometimes, the hardest thing was to let go.