Roadblocks

Chapter 2: Lauren

Chapter 2: LaurenLauren looked helplessly from Kayla to Silke. Damn it, things were not going well at all. She could understand that Kayla was in no mood to be there, there’d like a child who fell off her bike. She was a grown woman, and even adults don’t handle loss and frustration well. After all, her father was dead, her whole world turned upside down. She couldn’t even walk to the bathroom by herself, for God’s sake. Lauren had to choose her words carefully.

“Kayla. No one is minimizing what you—we—have been through. I understand some of what you’re feeling, and I only want to help. But like it or not, Christmas is going to come, the sun will rise tomorrow, and life will go on. Do you think your dad would want you to be so miserable? You know how much he loved Christmas.” Kayla quieted, the only sound some sniffling. “Your dad is watching you, sending all his love, and wanting you to get better and get back to your life. He’ll always be a part of you and everything we do as a family. Nothing can take that away.”

Kayla glared pointedly at Silke. “That’s right. Nobody can take that away.” She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m not totally losing it. It just seems so unfair sometimes. Every time I talk to Jessica or Francine it’s all about the Christmas shopping they’re doing and the parties they’re going to. And Contessa tries to cheer me up by telling me how she has decorated our dorm room. I know she’s just trying to encourage me, and she doesn’t really know how messed up I am, but there’s no way I’m going to be seeing that room before the decorations come down. I mean, she sent pictures, and she’s trying, but…” Lauren instinctively tried to put her arm around Kayla, the sight of her suffering tearing her apart, but Kayla angrily pulled away from her. “I don’t know how you can be so in control all the time. I mean, for God’s sake, you lost your husband in the accident, too, or did you forget about that while you were off making all these plans without me?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Lauren saw Silke stiffen at the attack from Kayla. She loved that Silke wanted to rise to her defense, but that wouldn’t help this situation one bit. She turned her head away from Kayla and gave Silke a warm and tender look, hoping she’d catch the hint of better things to come later and leave graciously. Lauren wanted some time alone with Kayla, who was still flushed with anger. Kayla needed to be able to focus on her therapy. Hopefully Lauren could do some damage control and get her in the right mindset.

“Silke, could you give us a few minutes? Kayla’s therapist will be here any minute and I have a few questions.”

“No problem, I’ll go home then. I only came for the amazing food anyway.” Her expression was utterly unreadable and Lauren couldn’t tell whether she was joking or mad at her.

“I’ll be heading out shortly myself. Therapy is always very draining and Kayla will need to rest.”

Silke’s face lit up as if a switch had been flipped.

“Take care then!” She jumped up, stuffing the remainder of her food in the trash, and bolted, blond mane flying.

Lauren turned toward Kayla again, but not before smiling at the kiss Silke threw her, accompanied by a mouthed, “See you.”

Fortunately Kayla was still engrossed in her food. It was pitiful that she’d only been able to have liquids for so long that even grits seemed to excite her. But it saddened Lauren even more that Kayla visibly relaxed as soon as Silke left the room, digging into her food with gusto, a satisfied smile on the face that had just crumbled in despair moments before.

“You know, for hospital food, this isn’t half bad. I thought with the way you take your lunch to work every day, it must be really heinous. Guess it’d be hard to ruin grits, though.” Kayla slid the last mouthful in and emitted an unladylike belch that made Lauren smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, honey. It’s nice to see you with an appetite. I know how those meds you were on kind of killed it for a while.”

Kayla looked at Lauren, her expression almost too serious for her youthful face. “I’ve had a lot of time to think in here. I mean, maybe it’s for the best that I can’t remember anything from the day of the accident, but it would be nice to at least get the time back that I spent with Dad, even if we were only grocery shopping. But I can’t remember a damn—darned—thing from the time we left the house in his car. I can’t stand to look at the picture he took of me sitting behind the wheel. I wish I hadn’t been so into myself and had taken a selfie with both of us. Now he’s gone and…” She put her fork down and buried her face in her napkin.

Lauren let her cry it out, not saying anything. What could she say, anyway? Kayla had been through a terrible thing. Her body might be starting to heal, but how long before her emotions stopped being so raw? Frankly, she hoped that Kayla never remembered the details of the accident, as curious as she was about what had actually caused it. Lauren wasn’t sure she wanted to know that Craig had done something to bring it on. She’d seen his road rage on numerous occasions, and if he was responsible for what had happened to Kayla…

“Mom? I’m sorry. I know you must be hurting, too. I don’t mean to be so selfish. I’m going to try to be a better person, really I am.”

“Oh, honey, you’re not a bad person. You’re one of the sweetest, kindest people I know, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your mother. Don’t forget, I’ve known you longer than anyone has, and I have millions of memories of all the wonderful things you’ve done in your life.” She sat beside Kayla on the bed and put her arm around her, relieved that this time Kayla didn’t pull away. “My wonderful daughter…Nobody is at their best when they’re sick or injured or grieving. I know life won’t be the same as it has been, but life is like that. Things never stay the same. Not for anyone.”

“Oh, that reminds me, did I tell you that Contessa called earlier?”

“No, you didn’t.” Lauren hoped Kayla’s college roommate hadn’t said anything to upset her.

“What you said about things never staying the same reminded me. She told me that her mother has a new boyfriend already. Can you imagine? The divorce isn’t even final yet. God, how can she be so fickle? Just a week ago she was crying about her husband leaving her. What’s with people?”

Lauren felt heat rising to her face and rose, going to the window and looking out so Kayla wouldn’t see her face. Wasn’t she guilty of doing the exact same thing with Silke? No, even worse. She’d started something with Silke before Craig was even out of the picture. Contessa’s mother, the woman Kayla was scornfully going on about, had the decency to at least wait till her marriage was over.

“Even though it’s been rough, I’m still so lucky to have you, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do if my mother were such a loser.” Just then Kayla’s therapist walked in. Fortunately, Kayla’s mindset was more positive now, no thanks to Lauren.