The Divorce Bargain

SIX

Isla

My stomach was in knots. I had showered to try and remove the grime of tears and the cloud of sadness that crying all night would give a person. And now at was at the kitchen island trying to force down some avocado toast that Jess had made for me. It really wasn’t working. I felt like throwing up, like running away to avoid the conversation I knew was coming. The door bell rang.

Jess pointed to the door, “Is that him?”

I nodded.

She walked across the sitting room and threw the door open. I knew she wanted to flay him with her words so I said quickly before she could get a word in.

“Jess, please.”

She pointed a finger at him saying, “You’re lucky she’s here, else you’d already be dead.”

Moving away from the food I had barely eaten, I whispered. “Jess could you give us some privacy?”

She nodded, backing away to her room, her eyes not leaving the tall form of my husband still in the doorway.

“Call me if you need anything.” Then she slammed the door of her room leaving Keenan and I in an uncomfortable silence.

He walked into the apartment, his eyes raking over me from head to toe slowly. Like he was checking for injuries, like he cared if I was ok or not. He looked a mess. Suit unbuttoned and wrinkled, his hair looked like he’d been caught in the wind, like he had run his hands through it a million times. His eyes were red and there were dark circles around them.

He stopped right in front of me. His hands rising as if to touch me then I snapped out of the spell I was in and moved backwards. He froze, his hand still in the air as if he could not understand my reaction.

“Isla, baby, I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

“I know you’re mad at me. I’m sorry, we can reschedule the flight and still make it to Napa.” He said, hands running through his hair.

“What time did you get home last night?” I asked, my voice low.

Hand rubbing the back of his neck, he answered. “Twelve am.”

Wow. Five whole hours after we were supposed to leave. I wasn’t even suprised at this point. If I was being honest with my self, thinking he would show up for me was probably wishful thinking. Keenan was long past the point of caring about someone as unimportant as his wife anymore.

“Everything went wrong at the office, there was a cyberattack on our systems, contaminated products, Keenan said. “it was a whole bloody mess and we were trying to put out fires—“

“Just the usual then.” I was so exhausted. I’d heard this excuses for years now. It didn’t hold water anymore.

“There’s always fires to put out, meetings, work trips. Everything else is a priority, except this marriage, except me.”

Keenan’s hands balled at his sides. “That’s how businesses work, Isla. I can’t just up and leave whenever I want,” he said, voice rising. “I have to oversee everything. It’s not just your feelings that matter anymore. Billions of dollars are riding on every decision I make. People’s livelihoods are at stake. Come on.”

I reared back like he had slapped me. “My feelings? You think this is about my feelings?” I asked, anger beginning to rise in my chest. “We barely see each other at home. You come home either when I’m sleeping or you don’t come home at all. We don’t eat together, we don’t go out except it’s for one of your very many work events.”

I walked to him, fingers jabbing into his chest. “You haven’t even touched me in months but you think this is merely about feelings. This marriage is falling apart and you don’t think it’s cause for alarm”

Keenan didn’t say anything else and neither did I. The silence was so tense, it felt like it would suffocate would suffocate us both.

“If I’m not there they’ll probably mess something up. Blackwood markets is important to me. I can’t fail, you know what is at stake Isla”

“You’ve built that company and expanded it to the point where you can delegate. You have a whole team for crying out loud. You don’t have to be on call 24 hours a day. That’s not a life!”

His jaw tightened. “We can live the way we do now because of the sacrifices I made to build that company.”

God, I was so angry at him. “What good is the fancy penthouse, the jewelry, the cars if I never see you? If we don’t enjoy these things together?”

I would take this man in a one bedroom apartment surviving on hot Cheetos and coke if it came to that. I didn’t care about anything else, I just wanted him. Why couldn’t he see that?

Keenan’s gaze burned into mine. “I can’t fail at this Isla. You know how much I have to lose if this business fails, I can’t go back to work with him. I refuse to do that.” He replied harshly.

Keenan would do whatever it takes not to be termed a failure in the eyes of his father. He would rather work himself to the bone than go back to work in his father’s company with his tail tucked between his legs.

“But you’re at the point now where it’s literally impossible for you to fail! How can’t you see that? You’ve reached billionaire status for crying out loud. Nothing can touch you when you’re so high up!”

The fight bled out of me. I was so tired of screaming without my voice being heard.

“You should at least be able to take a few days off so we could spend sometime together. It was our five-year anniversary Keenan. And you didn’t show up for us. Again.”

Keenan swallowed hard. “We were just supposed to leave for the trip last night,” he said. “Our anniversary is today. We can still fly to Napa right now and have our celebration.”

I shook my head from side to side as he leaned forward to take my hand and pull me into his chest.

“I’m really, really sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you.”

I took a breath just allowing this for a little bit. Breathing him in for a second. Feeling safe just not loved.

He was never going to understand even if I broke it down a million times. I had fallen in love with a stubborn man.

He leaned down, his gaze focused on my lips. "Forgive me, my love." He breathed, then he slowly closed his lips against mine.

His hot wet tongue dancing with mine. His hands were moving up and down my sides and I slid my arms around his neck, leaning into the kiss even more. Not able to take a breath, I felt lightheaded from his kiss. It was always like this, he always took my breath away.

He broke away, his eyes boring into mine as we both tried to catch our breath.

“Let’s go home Isla. Please.”

I shook my head slowly. “No.”

His eyes narrowed in confusion. My heart was breaking in two deep in my chest. I stepped away from him.

“I want a divorce, Keenan.”