Chapter 5: What am I doing?
1245 Words
Neriah's POV
The first thing I noticed about living with Xavian was that the house never felt empty, even when
he wasn’t in the room.
Maybe it was because everything reminded me of him. His photographs were everywhere, his
name was attached to the company that owned half the buildings in the city, and even the staff
seemed to know exactly what he liked and disliked. I had spent years building a life where I
didn’t have to think about him, and now I couldn’t walk ten steps without being reminded that he
was here.
My husband.
I still wasn’t used to that word.
That evening, I found Elias sitting on the living room floor with Xavian, surrounded by toy cars. I
stopped at the doorway when I saw them.
Xavian was wearing a simple black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and Elias was talking
excitedly while showing him how his favorite car worked. Xavian listened like every word
mattered.
“Daddy, look at this one.”
Xavian smiled.
“I see it.”
“No, look properly.”
He picked up the tiny car and examined it seriously.
“Fastest one?”
Elias nodded proudly.
“Very fast.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on my face.
Xavian looked up and caught me watching.
Our eyes met.
The smile on his face disappeared slowly, replaced by something that made my stomach twist.
I looked away.
“Elias, it’s time for your bath.”
“Aww, Mommy.”
“Now.”
He jumped up and ran upstairs.
I waited until he disappeared before looking at Xavian again.
“You’re good with him.”
“He’s my son.”
“You’ve known him for one day.”
“I know.”
He stood.
“But I intend to know him for the rest of my life.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
Instead, I turned away.
“You should get some sleep.”
“So should you.”
“I will.”
He stepped closer.
“Neriah.”
I stopped
“What?”
“You’ve been avoiding me all day.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
I sighed.
“Fine. Maybe I have.”
“Why?”
I turned around.
“Because this is strange.”
“What is?”
“Everything.”
I gestured around us.
“Five years ago, you were a stranger. Yesterday, you found out you have a son. Today, we’re
married and living in the same house. How am I supposed to act like this is normal?”
“You don’t have to.”
His voice was calm.
“You just have to be honest.”
“With you?”
“Yes.”
I laughed softly.
“That is funny coming from you.”
His expression changed.
“You think I haven’t been honest?”
“I think neither of us has been honest.”
He stepped closer.
“Then let’s start now.
”My heart began beating faster.
“Fine.”
He looked directly at me.
“I never forgot you.”
I swallowed.
“Xavian.”
“I tried.”
He took another step.
“After that night, I told myself it meant nothing. I had work, my family, my life, and I thought
eventually I would forget you.”
He stopped in front of me.
“But I didn’t.”
I couldn’t look away.
“Then why didn’t you look for me?”
“I did.”
My heart skipped.
“What?”
“I searched for you.”
I stared at him.
“But I couldn’t find you.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
“I had someone looking for you for months.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Why?”
His eyes stayed on mine.
“Because you were the first woman who ever walked away from me.”
My breath caught.
“And now?”
“Now you’re standing in front of me again.”
The room suddenly felt too quiet.
I should have walked away.
Instead, I stayed.
His hand slowly lifted and touched my cheek.
I closed my eyes for a second.
“You’re still scared of me,” he whispered.
“I’m scared of what happens when I’m around you.”
His thumb moved gently across my cheek.
“Why?”
“Because I remember.”
His eyes darkened.
“So do I.”
He leaned closer.
I knew what was coming.
And this time, I didn’t move away.
His lips touched mine, softly at first, and every thought in my head disappeared. I held onto his
shirt as he kissed me again, and the years between us suddenly felt like they had never existed.
When we finally pulled apart, I was breathing harder.
“This isn’t part of the contract,” I whispered.
“I know.”
“We shouldn’t.”
“I know.”
“Then stop.”
He looked at me.
“You don’t mean that.”
I hated that he was right.
I kissed him again.
His arms wrapped around me, and for a moment, I forgot about the contract, the custody case,
the photograph, and every reason I had promised myself not to fall for him again.
I closed my eyes and fell into his loving kiss.
“You like that don’t you” his hands caressed me softly as they traced my face, my body and then
between my legs. I froze, my eyes shot open
“Wai-”
“Shhh, let’s enjoy this moment”
His hands rubbed against my thighs and I could feel myself burn up, then I felt his fingers on
me. He slid them in and I let out a very deep breath.
“Don’t hold back” he said to me and I didn’t
“We shouldn’t be doing this”
I pushed him away. He stopped, stared at me, understood I wasn’t completely fine with it and he
left the room.
Later, I stood alone in my room, staring at myself in the mirror.
I couldn’t believe what I had done.
I had spent five years protecting my heart from Xavian, and it had taken one night for him to
make me question everything.
A soft knock came at my door.
I turned.
Xavian stood there.
Neither of us spoke.
Then he said,“I don’t regret tonight.”
My heart tightened.
“I didn’t ask.”
“I know.”
He looked at me for a moment.
“I just wanted you to know.”
Then he walked away.
I closed my door and leaned against it.
I wanted to believe that was the end of it.
I wanted to believe we could wake up tomorrow and return to being strangers who happened to
share a child and a contract.
But before I could get into bed, my phone buzzed.
Unknown number.
I opened the message.
There was a photograph attached.
My eyes widened.
It was a picture of Xavian’s family.
And standing beside them was me.
Five years earlier.
I stared at the photograph in confusion.
Then I noticed the date.
The picture had been taken the day after I discovered I was pregnant.
Another message appeared.
“Ask Xavian what his family knew about you.”
My heart stopped. Someone knew.
And suddenly, I wasn’t sure if my marriage to Xavian had been a coincidence at all
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