The Don and His Russian Bride

Chapter 10

I had never imagined harming myself until I came to Sicily. Not when my father told me my mother’s death in childbirth was my fault, not when he sent me away to boarding school, and definitely not when Viktor Morozov didn’t call me back the morning after he took my virginity.

I made it through all those shitty events in my life without considering what it would be like to put an end to my life. Even staying at the mansion with Luciano for the past few weeks, suicide never seemed like the best solution. I may have wanted to end his life at times, but never mine.

Somehow, sitting alone in a car with Luciano, I reached my breaking point. Luciano’s silence drove me to wonder about death. Afterall, it could be the freedom that I’ve been hoping for.

Crystal clear water surrounded the mountainous island of Sicily. As we drove along a winding road, the uneven terrain of the island rested beyond the left side of the car while violent waves crashed against the coast’s rocky peaks just below my window.

While Luciano directed his gaze onto the road ahead, mine strayed to the silver door handle within my reach. I wondered how long it would take me to unbuckle my seatbelt and throw open the door. My actions would be so unexpected, Luciano wouldn’t have enough time to react. Without the chance for Luciano to stop me, I could jump off the edge into a free fall.

When I reach the bottom, the jutted rocks will puncture my chest. I imagined being impaled would cause excruciating pain— but only for a second. After the initial impact, all my present troubles would be nonexistent.

The image in my head led me to question Luciano’s possible response. Would he scream at the sudden loss of his wife? Would it pain him to watch my blood streaming down onto the rocks? Perhaps he wouldn’t care at all. I pictured him bagging me up like any other one of his victims. How long would it be before he searched for a new bride?

My fingertips brushed against the silver handle. They slid across the smooth, cold surface before pulling back as if they had been burned. I placed my hand back onto my lap, clenching it into a fist. My questions didn’t need their answers today.

“You don’t always have to be so tense when you’re around me,” Luciano said. He could sense how I was practically itching to get away from him. The car ride was becoming the longest time we sat in such close proximity to each other since our wedding day.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be tense around you.”

Luciano’s fingers tapped against the steering wheel. “I’m your husband.”

“I never wanted you to be.”

“Are you ever going to let that go?”

“Why should I? Marrying you was the last thing I wanted, yet now I’m bound to you until death.” I coughed to cover the way my voice cracked on the word death. The morbid reality of my thoughts were catching up to me.

Luciano took his eyes off the road to glance at me. Whether I tried to hide it or not, he was trained to notice even the most miniscule twitch in his adversaries. Though he caught onto my discomfort with the topic, he didn’t call me out on it. Instead, he redirected his attention back onto the road.

“I’m not certain I benefited from the arrangement either,” he grumbled before checking the rearview mirror. “How about you give me one good reason why you should be tense.”

“Easy. You kill people for a living.”

“If that were true, I would be a mercenary or a hitman. I’m not either of those.”

“Are you telling me you haven’t killed anyone?” I crossed my arms, looking him up and down. He couldn’t deny the brutality necessary for his line of work.

“No. I have. What I’m saying is that my role as leader has a larger purpose than simply killing people.”

“As far as I’m concerned, any killing is bad. And killing fits into the job description of a mafia boss.”

“Fair enough. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t intend to kill you.”

“And the husband of the year award goes to…” I reached out to play a drumroll on the dash. In my best announcer voice, I continued, “Luciano Martelli! First, he drives his wife to buy tampons at the store and then assures her he won’t kill her.”

“I’ve never noticed how sarcastic you can be.”

Considering how I avoided him at all costs throughout our marriage, there were likely a lot of things he never noticed about me.

“I wonder why that is.” I deadpanned.

“Yes, we haven’t been on great terms since we met, but look at us now. We bonded so much during this car ride.”

The softer side of me wanted to awe at his precious optimism. The other side pretend vomited in disgust. The two sides began to wrestle, leading the latter side to win control over my mouth. “Only you would trap a girl in a moving car and call it bonding.”

He crooked his mouth into a half smile, causing my blood to race. He saw through my defenses. I resisted the urge to fan myself as heat rushed from my fingertips all the way up to my forehead. No amount of verbal abuse could push him back now.

I wouldn’t have to endure the apprehension much longer because Luciano was pulling into the parking lot of the store. When he parked the car, not a full second passed before I opened the door and rushed towards the building. Despite my head start, Luciano didn’t fall far behind me.

Damn. All it took was a simple half smile for him to knock me off balance. I needed space from him more than anything. If only God hadn’t blessed him with such long legs.

At least being outside I could breathe in the fresh air. Once we were together in the tight aisles, claustrophobia settled in. Goosebumps rose on my arms. I sent up a silent prayer Luciano wouldn’t hover over me as I searched for the products I needed.

I didn’t know if any mafian gods existed, but if they did, they looked out for me at that moment. Luciano’s phone rang with a seemingly urgent call. My stomach relaxed as he stepped away to answer it, leaving me to survey the shelves on my own.

Luciano stayed on his phone at a distance until I entered the checkout line. As the cashier scanned my items, Luciano ended his call. He stood with his arms crossed, his foot lightly tapping the floor.

“Are you ready?” he asked after paying the cashier. I grabbed the bag containing my purchased items.

“One minute. I want to use the bathroom before we go.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

His blank expression answered my question. My blood boiled at his impatience. Business took precedence over everything— especially my needs. I tightened my grip on the grocery bag in case I needed to use it as a weapon.

“I argued with a driver, endured a long, insufferable car ride with you, and sat in bloody f*****g toilet paper all morning in order to get these.” I raised the bag to remind him of the reason we came to the store in the first place. My body turned rigid as my feet stayed planted to the floor. “No. It can’t f*****g wait.”

Luciano stood in silence for the next several seconds. He probably couldn’t remember the last time someone talked back to him. No one dared to when he could have a body buried before it turned cold. But if he continued treating me as a pet, he would have to get used to it. My anger overrode my fear.

“Alright. Make it quick.”

For that statement alone, I took my precious time in the bathroom. When I walked out, he took hold of my hand and practically dragged me across the store because of how quickly he moved towards the doors. I presented him with an onslaught of questions, but Luciano refused to share the reason for his rush to return home.

On the ride to the store, I had contemplated death. On the ride back to the mansion, however, Luciano and I toyed with it. Luciano drove the same curvy roads over twice as fast as the speed limit despite my protests.

My only comfort came from the fact that the passenger seat moved alongside the mountains this time. While the idea of falling towards the waves brought me peace less than an hour ago, it now made me nauseous. My hands gripped the edge of my seat, preparing to hold me steady if we crashed. I closed my eyes, hoping the nightmarish ride would be over when I opened them.

When we finally arrived at the mansion, I released a deep breath. For the first time in my life, I understood why people would ever kiss the ground. Rather than pulling up to the door like usual, Luciano parked the car halfway up the driveway behind a line of five or six black suvs.

“What’s going on?”

Luciano unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the car. I followed suit before I missed his explanation. “I’m leaving the island for the next few days to sort out a pressing issue with one of our business partners. While I’m gone, the rules do not change. You can’t leave, but there will still be people here to look after you.”

Of course he would keep in the dark about what the actual urgency was. Nevertheless, I nodded my head in understanding.

Luciano gave me one last piercing gaze as he opened the door to one of the suvs. Leaving me behind wouldn’t be as easy for him as I thought. Even so, he couldn’t allow me to get close to his business dealings in case I would become an interference. He entered the car, shutting the door without further hesitation.

The cars drove away in uniform acceleration.

Once the last suv left the driveway, I ran inside the mansion. A weight lifted from my chest as I shouted, “Carlotta, get the popcorn ready! We’re having a movie night!”