10. Anxiety
534 Words
Mary was hosting a special party at the diner next day. It was her wedding anniversary and it seemed half the town was invited, and the other half would come anyway just to appreciate her food and hospitality.
I had been working like crazy, and Mary had even hired a girl from the town to help out, but I was under so much stress that I resembled more of an octopus, trying to reach everything at the same time.
"The batter isn’t right, continue mixing… oh wait, that’s too much thyme, you’ll ruin it…"
To my horror, I noticed we were running out of olives and mayo. How in the hell was I going to finish the pates without them? And had we enough croutons? I turned my heels around and sprinted to the supermarket, tossing things around to my shopping bags.
"In a hurry, dear?"
Bernice’s curious voice came from far away. I managed to smile distantly whilst pulling things to my basket, I really needed to get everything done and on time, or else…
"Hey, what’s all this?"
Alexander’s voice came from nearer than Bernice’s, but I barely noticed him. He looked confused and raised an eyebrow.
"Do you need help with those?"
"No thank you."
What I really needed was for him to get out of my way so I could sprint back to the diner.
"Kiddo thake it easy, it’s just…"
I closed the door behind me after paying and sprinted back to the dinner, leaving Bernice completely befuddled. Mary entered the kitchen behind me and swooshed the other girl out of the way. I was in a turmoil, trying to do several things at a time and when I turned around, I bumped against someone. I pulled back and, in my desperation to reach something to prevent me from falling, my hand threw several dishes to the ground. In my horror, I started blabbering while trying to pick up the pieces.
"Oh my God, oh my God… I’m so sorry… I’ll clean it up, I’m sorry…"
"Bess!"
The shout came at the same time a hand entered my field of vision. I let out a scream and covered my head with my arms. This was it, he was mad, he was going to hit me, he was…
"Bess…"
He sounded… defeated… but wait, that wasn’t Thomas’s voice… it was… Alexander’s… and I… I wasn’t back home, I was in Paradise Mountains… the horror of the situation struck me and I lowered my harm, covering my face in shame.
"I think that's enough."
The voice of Mary was calm and near. She was on her knees beside me, her arm around me. And then I felt it nearing me. The difficult in breathing, the pain in my chest… a full out anxiety attack approaching… on top of everything… I was so useless. My tears started to fall at the same time my fingers were clawing my chest, trying to breath. My ragged breath was provoking me so much pain… I felt blackness approach, the blessed blackness that prevented me from feeling what Thomas was doing to me and I embraced it as before.
- Writer
