Cursed with Life and Death

Wildest Dreams

I walk in before Xander can object again and shut the door behind me.

I turn and immediately smile at the familiar smokey floral scent assaulting my senses. The entryway table is covered with candles and roses and there’s a stand holding up an envelope with my name written on it.

Travis.

My heart flutters.

I move to it and grab the envelope, glancing around the apartment before I open it.

There is a huge, sprawling classically decorated living room in front of me with floor to ceiling windows covering the wall, showcasing an uninterrupted view of the bright lights of the New York City skyline. It’s gorgeous, absolutely captivating and somehow still feels like a home.

I see a staircase off to the right which only makes me realize how giant the room really is. How tall are these ceilings?? How is this even possible in New York?

I take a breath and open the envelope, aware that I’m in a time crunch.

Love has nothing to do with that you are expecting to get -

Only what you are expected to give -

Which is everything.

- Katherine Hepburn

Always finding ways to both spoil me with love and to make me feel cherished. My heart pangs with sadness.

I take a few deep breaths staring at his handwriting on the note.

Okok I can do this. I immediately flit around making sure I look into every room before anyone gets here. I find one with a candle lit and look in. It looks like a library but one of the bookshelves is open. I move over and study it, seeing a small office in there. I don’t see any notes or anything sitting out that he would immediately want me to have, so I go back into the main library to look around.

I find there’s a post-it note on Romeo and Juliet and realize that must be the lever to open the hidden door.

How appropriate.

I shut the door and test it, finding I was right. I close the shelf/door and vow to come back when I have more time to explore, removing the note and blowing out the candle so as to not alert the others.

I flit back to the main room and a stereo in the corner catches my eye. I walk over and see it’s paused.

Strange.

I hit play and flit back to the candles and roses to take a moment with them before the others come in. A song starts echoing through the giant room.

Wait.. is this Taylor Swift again?!

Of f*cking course it’s Taylor Swift. What the actual f*ck? I catch some lyrics.

..and when we’ve had our very last kiss,

my last request is,

say you’ll remember me..

Wait.. what??? My heart starts beating quickly. There’s no way he set this up for me like this, right? ‘Say you’ll remember me??’ I crumble to my knees missing some lyrics, tears welling up as my overwhelming emotions from this whole set up takes over.

Xander rushes in and halts, the others spilling in behind him also pausing when they see me kneeling in front of what looks like an altar. The song wailing out;

You’ll see me in hindsight

Tangled up with you all night

Burn. It. Down.

I start shaking and hyperventilating a bit. There’s no way it’s a coincidence this is the song lined up..

Someday, when you leave me

I bet these memories

Follow you around.

Wait.. how is this possible? Katie put that last Taylor swift song on, not him!?? And that was only a couple days ago.. How could he arrange this? What is happening?!?

I start losing it and all the candles start flickering and swelling in front of us.

Katie runs over to the stereo and presses a button. Thankfully it stops echoing about how memories of our fire s*x will follow me around.

She runs up to me and puts her hand on my back. “It’s ok Jade. It’s over.”

“Why would he do this??” I cry out, unable to filter myself after feeling so exposed. It’s like he’s torturing me with his memory. He always said he wanted me to be happy.. it doesn’t feel like him to cause this much pain?

“I don’t know. But it’s ok. You’re ok. Let’s go get some water and get ready to go out.” She takes control, easing me up and over towards the kitchen, dropping the note on the couch.

“Jade. A little help?” Vi says from the open door.

It takes me a moment but I realize I forgot about her being a vampire. “Right of course, please come in.” I say and follow Katie out of the room into the kitchen while Vi walks in with a grin.

I drink the water she puts in front of me as I sit on a barstool on the giant marble island.

“Jade.. this is pretty crazy.” She says looking around.

“You’re telling me.” I say quietly, glad the others have left us on our own.

“You didn’t pick that song?”

“No. God no. Are you kidding? I’m holding on by threads here.. I can’t handle that. It was cued up.. ” I look away. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course Jade.” She says. “Listen.. I don’t think you really know how serious it is to lose a mate. A lot of people don’t survive that. I want you to be one of the ones who does.” She nods at me.

Steve clears his throat from the entry of the kitchen and I jump up forgetting he’s here.

“Anything else you require tonight or am I ok to turn in?” He asks.

“Could you get a few trays of sushi sent up? Otherwise we’re good here.” I ask, hopeful that I can buy some time before we go out.

“Of course. Just.. I’m sorry Jade. I wish I could say this was the last surprise.” He says softly with a nod and leaves.

I take a breath letting that sink in.

“Jade. If you need to leave we can totally go back. This is more than I expected it would be.” Katie says, eyeing me.

“No. This is supposed to be my place now. It never will be if we don’t make new memories here. I just need a very strong drink and something to distract myself with.” I say with some determination.

Vi appears right on cue. “How about some tequila? I need you to get a hell of a lot braver before you get changed for the club tonight.”

I nod and she pours out some shots. I down one, numbing myself more.

I walk out to the main room, noting that the candles are out and away already. I see Xander standing off to the side staring out the giant windows.

I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him, letting his embrace engulf me.

“I’m sorry this is so f*cked up.” I whisper.

“Yeah. Me too.” He says softly and kisses my head.

“I ordered some food here. Figured we could all get changed and go out after.” I say to him, changing the subject.

“Food sounds like a good idea. Do you know where our room is?” He asks, clearly testing the waters by calling it our room.

I pull him over towards the stairs, I saw the master bedroom briefly but I didn’t look around much.

It's modern and spacious, with concrete floors, sheer curtains covering the sprawling view, a glass-encased fireplace and a giant white bed with floating bedside tables. There are two doors off to the side, I assume a closet and a bathroom.

I look at the prestinely made bed, half debating if I should just crawl into it and hibernate for the night.

Probably would be smarter.

“We could just stay here, you know. We don’t need to go out,” he says softly standing behind me, answering my unspoken thoughts and wrapping his hands on my waist.

He starts nuzzling into my neck and I light up for him, welcoming the charge in my body as a distraction from my earlier grief.

“That depends, are you still set on waiting until we get to a s*x club?” I turn towards him, offering him my mouth for a kiss, wanting more.

“Something different could be fun. I’m not sure how much I’m comfortable with being fully on display like that, but at minimum it could give us some inspiration.” He says softly, brushing his lips against mine.

I laugh, not believing him. There’s no way he cares who’s watching once we get going, nor do we need any additional inspiration for our already rocking s*x life.

“You’re doubting me Jade?” He looks down at me smiling with eyebrows up. “Believe it or not I am actually able to keep control around you sometimes.”

“Seems unfair that you can and I can’t,” I eye him, aware that I’d skip all our plans if he wanted to take me to bed right now.

This is a distraction I can get behind. I get an idea, “How about a little wager then?”

“I’m listening.”

“If you lose your control with me tonight, I get whatever I want at the club.”

“And if I don’t?” He smirks at me.

“You get whatever you want when we’re home,” seems like an innocent enough wager that likely gets me laid.

“Anything?” He asks carefully. “Even to have Av lift your mind block?”

“Cart Blanche.” I say with a newfound determination to win.

“Deal” he holds his hand out to me flashing a sideways smile at me.

I take his hand and sneak a kiss, popping up on my tip toes and connecting my body to his quickly. He inhales and steps back. “Guess you should go get changed. Meet you down there.” He slinks out of the room.

I duck into the closet and see it’s set up as his and hers. I turn my back to Travis’ things not even remotely able to focus on that now. I start going through the new clothes picked out for me and try my best not to pay attention to the absolutely insane price tags on the designer dresses.

I get to a very strappy looking light blue thing and pull it out. I don’t even know how this goes on my body so I examine it. It has a collar, a line that runs straight down the front, and then a couple of strategically placed horizontal bands that look like they’d barely cover me. There are two small chains that clip to the collar and link to wrist bands. That’s all there is to it. I put it back not feeling brave enough to rock that in public.

I pull out the next outfit seeing it’s a simple, tiny black dress. There are some corset-like details giving it a bit of structure and texture on the top, and it likely only barely covers my ass looking at the length. I eye a pair of lace gloves and a lace eye mask hanging with it and decide to go with this one.

I pull out a fancy looking garter belt, with a matching thong and silky thigh high stockings. I smile, getting an idea.

I throw on the underwear, skipping a bra, and do my make up, really glamming up the smokey eyes, red lips and long lashes. I dampen my hair and use my towel, pulling it out to reveal a lot more volume than I’m used to. Perfect.

I put on the lace mask that covers my eyes, and slide on the necklace that Xander gave me for Christmas. I text Xander to come help zip me up, walking into the bedroom and leaning back against the doorframe to the closet while I wait for him, fully dolled up wearing nothing but lingerie.

I hear him approaching so I grab my dress and start stepping into it, perfectly timing that he gets an eye full of me for a quick second before I pull my dress up and turn around. He stills at the door watching me.

“Could you help do me up?” I ask feigning innocence. I pull my hair to the side so his mark is clearly visible as I arch my back a little for him.

He shuts the door behind him and I hear his heart rate pick up, but he says nothing as he approaches me.

He dips down inhaling my scent just above my neck, brushing his lips against me softly. “If you want to tease me Jade, I’ll need a better look at you than that.” He tugs the dress a little and it slips out of my hands, pooling at my feet. He steps up behind me and traces one of my garter straps with his fingers. “I see you’re hoping to play a little tonight.” He very lightly snaps it, making me jump as my body starts responding to the proximity of him.

“I always like it when you play with me, alpha,” I say looking back at him, pushing back so I grind against him just a little.

“I think you miscalculated, princess,” his hands find my hips and he pulls me into him again, making sure I feel how hard he is for me.

“Are you sure about that?” I breathe out, shutting my eyes as his hand starts slowly dragging down me, brushing against my cl*t. I let out a soft moan as his other hand finds it’s way to start pulling at my n****e.

“Tell me again Jade, what does your body need?” He asks in a low hushed voice, his hands still tormenting me in a slow sensual pace.

“You alpha,” I smile, feeling the desire coursing between us. He picks of the pace a little and ducks his hand under my thong, sliding a finger inside me and against my gsp*t - rewarding my quick response.

“Just as I only want you, Jade.” I moan and tilt my head back against him, my @ss still pushed against him to feel how much he wants me.

“You like that baby? To hear how much you turn me on by giving me your sexy body to play with? How hard I am only for you?” His voice is low and quiet in my ear.

“Just as much as you like that I can’t resist you. That I beg you to have your way with me. That I need it to.” I try to keep up in the game we’re playing but I’m building quickly. His familiarity with my body and ability to feel how I am responding to his hands makes him that much more able to get me close. He slides a second finger in and I moan arching back into him again.

“Tell me Jade.” He orders, his other hand sliding up and holding me against him with his fingers resting around my neck. He’s not applying any pressure but the vulnerability of the position combined with his hand rubbing against my cl*t as he pumps his fingers into me has me starting to lose it.

“Anything.” I breathe out, barely registering what I’m saying anymore. I’m trembling, close enough that I moan loudly, not caring that I never put a sound barrier up.

“Tell me how you like me,” he demands.

“In control, making me c*m over and over again,” I immediately pant out, everything starting to tighten.

He pulls his hand back, taking his fingers out of me but keeping me locked against his body with his arm against me, his other hand still positioned around my neck.

“No!” I protest automatically, way too close to want to stop. I bring my hand down to keep going myself but he catches my wrist and stops me, growling into my ear as I shudder.

“That’s how you miscalculated, Jade. You give me the control I want so willingly every time we start tearing into each other. I’m not going to lose control when someone as sexy as you is begging me to keep it.”

F*ck.

One point Xander.

I take a breath, totally flushed and frustrated.

He releases me and pulls up my dress, doing up the back with a gentle kiss on my mark spot making my stomach flutter.

I turn and glare at him as he slowly opens the door to head out.

“Oh.. the sushi’s here, everyone’s waiting for you to sign for it.” He says and flashes me the c*ckiest f*cking grin.

I groan. Of course they are.

I glare and storm past him, trying to control my breathing as I book it down the stairs.

“I told you we shouldn’t have sent Xander to go get her.” Av sneers with a smile plastered on her face.

I sign for the sushi and leave a massive tip apologizing to the man, as Xander strolls down the stairs pretty content with himself.

“I would have thought she’d have a shred of control to be able to be in the same room alone with him.” Vi says with her hands up defensively.

“What would have given you that idea?? No one else here has that understanding of Jade.” Jackson laughs, pouring some scotch into 2 glasses. He hands Xander one and cheers’ him.

“I once walked in on her and her mate. She was sitting, talking, eating and casually sipping a glass of wine. She was even fully clothed in front of the fireplace. I actually assumed she was very mature the first time I met her. I even commented later about how level headed I thought you were given how young you are.” She smiles at me. “Before, I really got to know you anyway.”

Katie laughs “That doesn’t sound like her and Xander. I’m surprised you didn’t walk in on like a s*x swing or something.”

“It wasn’t me and Xander.” I say in a flat tone.

“Though a s*x swing does sound like something we’d try. Maybe they’ll have one at the club tonight?” Xander jumps in, not missing a beat with a distraction, catching my eye.

He shows me a quick flash of the memory of me with my hands tied behind my back bent over the desk while he was spanking me.

I look away, aware that I’m still wound up and he’s still playing.

“I also don’t know how you got that impression of me.. that’s the night we did fairy dust.” I glance at Vi.

“Oh yaaa you totally came on to me. It was hot.” She hands me a shot and does one with me.

“You did what?!?” Av walks over to me. “Did Travis do it too?”

“Yeah we all did.” Vi says.

“That makes SO much sense!!” She exclaims. “This is not how everything was supposed to end up! I knew I felt something messed up here.” Av says. “Cooool.” She looks around.

I freeze. “What do you mean?”

“I knew something about this whole thing was off. I had a hard time believing the curse would have let you get away with not choosing.” Xander walks over and stands by me. “You changed your fate. That’s what fairy dust does. What else happened when you did it?” Av says to me.

I take a breath and glance at Xander. “I stopped being able to mind link with Travis. I started to be able to mind link with Xander instead.” I say quietly looking up at him, remembering the first thing he said to me in my mind.

“I bet you transferred whatever part of your mate bond that was supposed to be you ending up with Travis and doubled down on the dog over here.” Xander glares at her. “That’s why you guys can’t keep control of yourselves and why I couldn’t figure out what was up with you. It’s a stronger connection than just a mate bond.”

“Stronger than a mate bond?” Katie’s eyebrows shoot up.

I look at Xander. “That’s some wild speculation Av. Fairy dust is uncontrolled changes in fate. You have no idea if it changed our mate bond. I also asked for water instead of wine the next night. It surprised Lilith. That could have been it.”

“Lilith?” Vi asks “The witch??”

“You surprised a witch? They have the ability to see into the future. I bet you both changed your fate and she didn’t expect it. I bet he was never supposed to die but he changed his fate and you were supposed to have a mind connection with Travis that you didn’t have with Xander when the time came to choose.”

“It’s mind linking all werewolves can do it. It’s not a hugely different thing that changed my destiny.” I say trying to be real here. She’s throwing around some pretty serious accusations.

“It’s different.” Xander says quietly. “What we can do and what mindlink is for werewolves.”

“Why what is mind linking like for werewolves ?” I ask Katie and Jackson.

“We can talk to each other through our minds?” Jackson says.

“Why what’s it like with you two?” Katie asks.

“We can talk or we can show each other memories and feel the emotions the other was feeling when you watch it.” I say catching Xander’s eye showing him what he just did to me in the bedroom. He stands a bit straighter and shifts his weight looking away, my point coming across well.

“That’s wild.” Vi says.

“That doesn’t mean this isn’t how it was supposed to end up. You were able to mind link with Travis again at the end.” Xander says refocusing the conversation.

Av turns to me again, studying me more. “Something else happened, didn’t it?”

I say nothing. Knowing it’s true.

“You died.” Xander whispered. “You showed up that night badly beaten and stabbed, with no blood left. You flat lined. You saw your mom and she put you back on a path.”

“And you could mindlink with Travis again when you came back?” Av asks.

I nod annoyed that Xander shared such a personal memory of mine.

“Jade l.. I don’t think Travis was supposed to die. I think you were supposed to end up with him.” Av says. Eyes wide.

“Maybe. But fate changes. Thinking it wasn’t supposed to be like this doesn’t change that it is like this. I’m with Xander. Travis is.. gone.” I say as firmly as I can muster despite not wanting to accept it.

“But Jade.. what if we could change it back? We’re fae after all we can change fate!”

“Av, I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t think it’s a good idea to go down this road. We can’t just go around raising the dead..” I say, worried.

“Says the person who has died twice.” She shoots back.

“No Avalon. I think it’s a really bad idea to mess around with fate when it comes to life and death.” I say again.

Vi appears with a round of shots. “I’m with Jade on this. Besides, it’s time to drink up! The limo’s here and we’ve got some clubs to go to!”