The Wolf in Sheep's Skin

Chapter 70

I flopped around in the big bed, trying to get comfortable. Jay moved around in the bathroom, making things clunk around. My stomach tangled into knots and my heart pounded in my chest. We’re just sleeping. I’m fine. I flopped onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

I’d turned off my little lamp that lived on my nightstand, the only light in the room came from under the bathroom door. The sheets were soft, yet strange against my skin. Even my clothes were off, wrong somehow. They weren’t mine.

But everything smelt like Jay, soothing me. I turned over on my side, trying to wiggle myself into the bed, hoping it would create a little Gwen indent. Some kind of indication that this was my bed too.

The door creaked open, burning my eyes with light. Jay’s frame was a dark silhouette. Then he flicked the light off, shrouding us in darkness. My heartbeat faster. His footsteps carried him over to the bed, on the opposite side. My mind raced. I tried to think if I should get naked and get it over with, if I should turn my lamp back on, or if I should say something.

I stayed still, frozen in the bed, laying on my side. Jay paused at the side of the bed, and my stomach did flips. Is he watching me? Can he see in the dark? Is he naked?

“I can sleep on the couch if you’d prefer? Or in the living room?” Jay’s voice was soft, and guilt swam in the pit of my stomach.

“No, this is your bed! I could move somewhere else, if you want-“

“No. I only meant… you smell uncomfortable. Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” The floor creaked, as if Jay was shifting his weight. Unsure if he should get in his own d*mn bed.

“I want to be here. Get in the bed.”

He didn’t need more reassurance. The mattress groaned and he climbed in, the blankets shifting about. I tensed, listening to his movements to try and calm myself. This is your mate. You’re going to live with him. He built us a wonderful home.

Other than sleepovers as a child, before I’d shifted, I’d never slept in someone else’s bed. And last night was different. He’d been unconscious.

“The house really is beautiful. It’s obvious you took a lot of care into everything.” I pulled my knees higher, up to my chest.

“We can change anything you want. Obviously, I didn’t know what you’d want when I built it.”

“I like it. It just needs some things to make it a bit more homey.”

“Homey sounds nice.” Jay whispered behind me. I shivered and craved to feel his touch. I almost scooted backwards on the bed, so I’d be pressed against him. What part of him didn’t matter. I just wanted the warmth, so I wasn’t floating alone in this big empty bed. But I couldn’t will my body to budge.

So st*pid! I can turn into a massive wolf, who apparently Jay thinks is some divine being brought on by a goddess, yet I can’t scoot backwards a bit. It can’t be more than a foot or two. I huffed and pulled my arms tighter to my chest.

“Sissy.” Lilith taunted me. He’s your mate. He’d probably like to be touched. It’s not like he’d be mad. I glared into the dark abyss of his room, frozen like a statue.

The house was quiet. The only sounds were mine and Jay’s heartbeats, along with some serenading crickets outside. It was creepy. I tried to focus on his heartbeat, hoping it would drowning out the silence, but it didn’t work.

I craved the sound of our packed house. Of children rustling in their sleep, their soft breath. Of my parents murmuring comforts to my siblings in the middle of the night. Everything here was quiet. Even Jay’s heartbeat was too quiet.

Freakishly slow, it was like he didn’t even have dreams. How he’d managed to fall asleep so fast, I couldn’t figure out. I sighed and flopped to my other side. The room was so dark, I couldn’t make out his face.

The only indication he was close was his soft breath and his heartbeat. I tried everything in my power to fall asleep, but my mind traced back to Pepper’s offer.

She thinks she can find some kind of ritual. But what would that even do? I snorted, wondering if it would even work. What do rituals even do? How would that help my wolf? I scrunched my face up.

I knew Jay thought I should. That much had been made clear by today. He believed in Fate and the moon goddess, and everything else that went with it. I could do it for him? But she doesn’t even have a ritual in mind. I shivered at the obscene ideas that popped into my head.

What if rituals actually do things? We shift into wolves, don’t we? She is a witch. Who says she can’t use some kind of magic? I pursed my lips and wrinkled my nose, the awful smell of magic coming to mind.

If only Rhett had better advice. Maybe I didn’t ask the right questions? He has to know more about how I can control Lilith.

“I don’t need controlled.” Lilith grumbled.

You at least need to not… explode. Or acting without thinking. It would’ve been nice if Ansel didn’t feel like he needs to lecture me on how serious yesterday was.

“He needs to learn his place. He can’t command us.” Lilith flared, like she could’ve climbed out of bed and raced through the forest to give him a lesson right there and then. Absolutely not! This is what I’m talking about. You can’t just go running amok.

I’m sure there’s something I can do to curb her… instincts. Rhett mentioned anger management. Maybe I can work on that?

“I do not have anger problems.” Lilith hissed. I groaned out loud, knowing it was futile to plan things in my head when could hear my thoughts. “A ritual sounds fun.” Lilith perked up. Then I’m definitely not doing it.

I flopped around more, huffing, fluffing my pillow, trying to wiggle myself into the mattress. Nothing worked. My mind stayed busy, and the house stayed quiet.

“Do you always struggle this much to fall asleep?” Jay whispered. I screeched, jumping up. I pulled the covers up to my chest, as if he was some assailant creeping into my room.

“I thought you were asleep!” I hissed, thankful that the darkness hid how bright my cheeks had to be.

“Me? You’ve been flailing in bed, mumbling and grunting to yourself for an hour.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up.” I let out a nervous laugh and mentally kicked myself.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go to the couch?” Copper eyes peered at me from the other side of the bed. They stared into my soul, making my mouth cottony.

“No.” I croaked out. “I mean, stay. In the bed.”

“I can smell how uncomfortable you are, Gwen.” He whispered, the copper in his eyes becoming brighter. “Just because we’re marked mates doesn’t mean you have force things and make yourself uncomfortable. We can take our time.”

“It’s quiet.” I blurted out, not knowing a smoother way to say it. But I couldn’t let him think I was uncomfortable because of him. “I’m not used to it; your house is just so empty.”

The bed creaked, and his copper eyes got closer. His arms wrapped around me, dragging me to him. I relaxed, allowing whatever he had in mind to happen. One hand wrapped behind my head, and the other wrapped around my waist. He pulled me close, adjusting me so my head laid on his chest.

His heart pounded in my ear, its melodic rhythm drowning out the silence. Fingers ran through my hair, and my eyes fluttered closed. I wrapped an around him, pulling myself closer.

His chest rumbled, vibrating against mine. At first, I thought he was groaning in pleasure. But he continued, changing notes and rhythms. I drifted to sleep as he hummed away the silence.