The s*x Addicts Wife

It's just me

“Jude?” Her voice floats from the doorway. “I'm not going to ask if you're ok, cuz obviously you're not. Do you wanna talk about it? I'm not great at advice but I'm a good listener.”

“She's a lying cheating whore.” I say, walking back over to the town of lockers, my forehead resting on the locker door.

“Your girlfriend?” She tries to clarify.

“ Fiancee. Well…ex-fiancee.”

Deep breaths Jude.

“That's awful.” She whispers. She takes a few hesitant steps towards me. Shaking her head.

“Yeah. I was so blind, so stupid! ” I say turning and collapsing on the bench.

“Hey, don't say that. You're not stupid. Love does blind us, but you're not stupid.” She says sitting next to me.

“Love!” I blow a raspberry, “love is stupid.”

“Sometimes.” She giggles a little bit. “But that's what makes it worth it. As much as it hurts, and believe me, I know how painful love can be. When it's good, it's the best! You'll find somebody else, somebody worth the pain of love.” She says patting my knee.

I feel a stab of pain in my chest when I realize she's been hurt too.

“Nah, I'm not one of the lucky ones, not like you.” I say, feeling pitiful, pathetic and maybe a little hopeless.

“Well I wouldn't say that,”she giggles with a sad smile on her face. “But you'll find your person.”

There it is again. Who could have hurt such a sweet woman?

“If you say so.” I sigh, putting my hand over hers.

“Come on. Working will get your mind off it. I can offer mindless chatter to distract you, if you like?” She bumps me with her shoulder, successfully coaxing a smile from me.

“Alright.”I sigh again, giving her hand a squeeze.

We stand up and head back to work.

All day she talked. She told me about movies, books, and TV shows. She talked about her last job, she talked about her kids, she talked and joked and succeeded in distracting my mind. By lunch we were joking together, she's quick with the come backs and more than once did she shock me with what came out of her mouth. But she just laughed it off.

As the afternoon went on, I think she started running out of things to talk about. There were longer pauses between subject changes.

“Are you running out of mindless chatter?” I ask her a small smile on my face thanks to her.

“Well, no, but my jaw hurts.” She laughs massaging the sides of her face.

I can't help but laugh as she pouts.

“don waff at meee.” She says as she rubs her cheeks, squishing her mouth.

I can't hold it in as I bust out laughing. She soon joins in, her eyes watering from laughing so hard. She is so beautiful wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"My sides hurt!" she whines between bursts of laughter.

I'm laughing so hard. I can't believe how free I feel. I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life. The tightness in my chest is gone and now my cheeks hurt and my stomach is sore from laughing with Victoria.

We finally calm down to little giggles as we get back to work.

I look over at Victoria as she finalizes the current order she's working on. She is so beautiful. Her brown hair is still in its bun from this morning but it's falling out and there are strains now hanging around her face. It looks so soft and silky, I suddenly have the urge to touch it, to run my fingers through it.

"what?" she asks, still working.

Dammit, busted.

"Thank you." I say still staring at her.

Her eyes snap to mine and she smiles softly.

"No problem." she nods going back to the order form.

" No, like. Thank you.You didn't have to do that. Not many people would of cared enough to put in the effort like you did." I confess, unable to look at her anymore.

"oh, Jude, I was just being me. I didn't put any extra effort into you. I'm like this everyday." she laughs.

"Oh,well. Thanks for making me feel special." I pretend to scoff as she breaks out into another fit of giggles.

Unfortunately the day is over. I don't have any strong feeling for my job good or bad. It's work, it paid the bills. Dreading going home is a first for me though. I know it's because of her.

“I see you tomorrow” Victoria says, grabbing her things from her locker.

“Yup, see you tomorrow.” I can't hide the disappointment in my voice.

“It'll all work out.” She tells me, stepping forward with her arms out for a hug. I open my arms for her and she steps in to the embrace. Once again, I'm amazed that the pain in my chest numbs as I hold her, as she holds me. She stays there, waiting for me to break the hug, I eventually let her go. She looks up with a smile on her face. “For real,Jude. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will and you'll be happy again.” She says as she steps back, her hands on my waist.

“We'll see.” I say unable to make eye contact.

Victoria pats my shoulder and starts walking towards the door.

“Victoria? Thanks. For today. I mean, thanks for making me smile. I really didn't want to. So thanks.” I say, taking slow steps towards her.

“No problem! I already told you, it's just me. ” She says, opening the door.

We walk together to the office, she clocks out and leaves.

“Hey man.” Johnnie says from behind me.

“Look, I didn't realize she was your fiancee.”

I turn around, he's leaning against his office door jam.

“ Not your fault. She's an ex now anyway.” I shrug. “See you later.” and I walk out the door before he can say anything else.

On the drive home, I can't help overthinking my entire relationship with Kandis. I think about every time I wasn't able to get ahold of her, every time she was late for dinner or a wedding appointment. I can't stop myself from reaching the conclusion that this wasn't her first time cheating, she's probably been doing it from day one. Once again the feelings of self pity and stupidity floods my chest. I hate this. Did she even love me? Did she ever love me? Why would she want to marry me if shes out f*****g around? My mind starts racing with questions I'll never get the answers to, and honestly I don't think I want to know. Yes, she was spoiled by her parents, but she wasn't awful in the beginning. We did all kinds of things. Ice skating, hiking, rafting. You name it we did it. Every fun date idea, we did it. We had a whirlwind relationship. Well, I thought we did at least. I fell for her so hard and so fast. Now look at me. Pathetic.

I find myself slouching on the couch, beer in hand. The tv is on but I have no idea what show I'm watching. I think back on today. Victoria definitely saved me. I was so pissed, I could have easily lost my job and wouldn't have given a s**t. She doesn't even know me, and she went out of her way to check on me, to calm me down and then make me laugh.