Her Light - His Darkness

Chapter 10

I look down at Gabby, trying desperately to get my attention, "What is it Gabby?" My voice sounding defeated, I clear my throat hoping Christian and Gabby didn't notice, I look up from her to Christian, his amber eyes studying my face, head slightly c****d to the left and his eyebrows slightly scrunched up.

"Lo, this is Ava-Leigh," Gabby whispers softly, I follow the direction she's pointing in, a girl about 5"5' with light brown hair and almond shaped sapphire blue eyes stares back at me with a radiant smile showing off her pearly whites.

"Hi! I heard so much about you, I'm so excited to finally meet you!" She walks towards me and wraps her arms around me while I stand there awkwardly with my arms by my side, Ava-Leigh steps back, a shy smile on her perfect cupid bow lips, a faint blush covering her cheeks.

"It feels as if I know you already, Chris has told me so much about you and by the confused look on your face," she glares at Christian for a moment before looking back at me with a smile, "this douche brother of mine hasn't mentioned me at all," She smacks him on the arm and focuses her attention back on me.

"You're brother and sister?"

"Hard to believe, I know! I'm the awesome one of course!" A smile on her lips, I can't help but notice something familiar about the way she smiles, almost like the same smile I see when I spot myself in the mirror with a somewhat smile on my face, placed there for Gabby's benefit.

"Ava is the baby in the family," Christian ruffles her hair as she scowls at him, "Are you the oldest then?" I direct my question to Christian, I see Ava grimace, like my question physically hurt her.

"Uh, no, I'm the middle child," He looks over at Ava and smiles sadly at her, "our older brother Mikey, died a couple years ago in an accident, it's just us now and our parents," a smile graces his lips, I wonder how he does that? Talk about his brother that died and still smiles so beautifully?

Wait just a f*****g minute...

When did his smile become beautiful?

When did I start ignoring my promise to the one person that meant so much to me?

When did I start forgetting about Landon?

"Lo, can I go swimming with Chris?" I look down at the answer to my internal battle, the answer to the questions playing on a continuous loop in my mind, Gabby is the reason, since the moment she accepted him, that's the moment I started noticing...

"Logan!" Gabby whines tugging on my hand, "uh... yeah, sure you guys go ahead," Gabby releases my hand and immediately grabs Christian's hand, a bright sparkle in her eyes that could outshine the brightest star.

"You're not coming?"

"No, you guys go ahead, I'm gonna stay here and chill," my lips forming into their usual fake smile, I make myself comfortable on the blue and white beach chairs, "I'll stay here as well," Ava declares getting comfortable next to me.

I watch their retreating backs, hearing the giggles erupting from Gabby, Christian stops walking, bends down to Gabby's height, says something to her, she nods her head fast causing her ponytail to loosen, Christian begins jogging towards us, pulling his white shirt over his head, revealing the muscles hidden beneath the fabric, he has just the right amount of muscle, in the right places, I avert my gaze, putting my sunglasses on when he looks up at me and smiles.

"He has a thing for you," I hear Ava whisper, "what are you talking about?" She smirks at me and shrugs nonchalantly, "you'll find out eventually, I can tell we are going to be great friends," Ava chuckles, I can't help but wonder how Christian and Ava-Leigh manage to laugh so freely, like a part of their family hasn't been ripped so suddenly from them, so unexpectedly.

Before I can stop myself, the words spill out from my mouth, "how do you guys do it?" I remove my glasses and look at her, "do what?" Her brows furrowed in confusion.

"How do you guys laugh so freely? Smile so genuinely after Mikey?" As fast as the realization came to her features, they vanished just as fast, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it's none of my business." I rush out, feeling guilty for even uttering the words in the first place. I'm about to apologize again when she looks at me and smiles sadly, the words getting stuck in my throat.

"No one has ever asked me that before, not even my own friends," she scoffs, "my parents are truly amazing," she smiles fondly, I don't respond, giving her the chance to gather her thoughts, "four years ago, Michael was heading to a party with his friend, Donovan, when his friend's car collided with another, it happened so fast," I gulp, feeling the familiar sting at the back of my eyes, "my mom got a call from the hospital, Mikey was rushed to surgery, he didn't make it, there was too much bleeding," she clears her throat, wiping a traitorous tear that escaped.

"You don't have to... continue," Ava shakes her head, takes a deep, shaky breath in and continues, "one week after the funeral, my parents started arguing over the slightest thing, eventually they couldn't even stand to be in the same room. A month after Mikey passed, they both looked drained, defeated, like the fight has finally left their bodies, they broke down in the middle of our driveway, holding onto each other for dear life."

I exhale shakily and place my hand on hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, she smiles gratefully at me through her tears.

"Chris and I watched the whole scene play out, after hours of crying, sharing our own happy memories that we each have of Mikey, my parents decided it would be best for us, as a family to talk to someone together and separately. We have all been in therapy for four years, mainly separate sessions now."

"It's harder for me though, he was my main protector, the person that was always there for me, cheering me on, being my shoulder and my ear, I was his baby sister... I get my days, though, you know, the pain never really goes away."

Ava purses her lips, thinking something over before she looks at me in my eyes, "Chris hasn't gone so much since... since he met you and Gabby," she smirks at me, the only reminder of her immense sadness is the tear stains running down her cheeks and the puffiness to her eyes, "why did you ask though?"

I find myself wanting to tell her, to finally be honest with someone, I feel this weird connection to her, maybe it's the... similarities, but my stomach churns with unease at the thought of telling her everything, instead of telling her the entire truth I settle with, "I lost a few... important people as well," I let out a shuddered breath. Ava doesn't look at me with pity, instead she smiles softly at me, "I'm here, if you ever need to talk," she squeezes my hand supportively.

***

After our conversation, we settled into a comfortable silence, relaxing to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the salty breeze blows my hair slightly, causing small strands to tickle my forehead, the umbrella providing much needed protection from the scorching sun.

"The water is amazing, you should both go for a swim," I open my eyes and look smack bang into a toned stomach, water glistening against his tanned skin, making his abs stand out, I follow a droplet of water that fell from his dripping wet hair all the way down until it disappears into the waistband of his swimming trunks by his v line.

"Lo, I'm so hungry," Gabby collapses half on me, causing my hot, sticky skin to cool down instantly, I avert my gaze from Christian's body, feeling the heat rush up my neck, "there's a corn-dog stand just a little ways up, mind if I take her there?" I hear the smile in her Ava's voice.

"I'll tag along, let's go," before I get my ass up from my spot, Ava shoots me a glare, "I'll bring one back for the both of you, you stay, relax, we've got this, right kiddo?" Ava ruffles Gabby's hair, causing her to giggle, "Fine," I grumble.

"Gabs told me it's her birthday next weekend, if you like, you could always use my yard." He sits down opposite me, occupying the space Ava once occupied, "my parents won't mind, we have a swimming pool, a trampoline, we could have a barbeque or order a whole bunch of pizzas, only if you don't mind?"

I stare intently at him, taking in the nervous smile on his face, to the sparkle in his amber eyes, this guy that doesn't really know me or Gabby, is offering his house up for a bunch of twelve year old girls, that still get hyperactive from too much sugar, "why... why do you care so much?" My eyebrows furrowing.

He stares at me for a moment, studying me, his head c****d to the side once more, creating the illusion of childlike innocence to appear on his face, a small flutter appears in my chest the longer I stare back, causing me to break eye contact first.

"Why wouldn't I?" A question upon a question, he smiles that radiant smile of his, he reaches his hand slowly toward my face, my heart accelerating to an unhealthy pace, and removes a strand of hair from my lips, his fingertips touch my skin ever so slightly, barely noticeable to anybody except me, I noticed it...

"We're baaack!" Ava says in a sing-song voice from behind me, I'm pulled out the trance Christian managed to put me under, how? I don't know, but all I do know, is the guilt, the guilt that begins creeping into my heart, invading my senses, slowly...

Making me feel like I just betrayed him...

Betrayed Landon in the worst way possible...