Consort in Solitude

Consol 10

I am already late for work pero inintay kong magising si Clezl. I even went back to bed on my office attire just to cuddle with her.

Her attitude towards me is so cold yet she sent warmth all throughout my being. So ironic, so funny.

I didn't really sleep, I watched her sleep. When I caress her cheeks with the back of my hand she flinched a little.

I remember what he said last night. Everything. She lost her mother and.. the love of her life. That man was lucky, he had her at her best.

"Natunaw na ako," sambit niya nang pagmulat niya ay mukha ko kaagad ang nakita niya.

"You won't, darling..." tugon ko bago ko siilin ang labi niya. Sa una ay hindi niya ginagalaw ang labi para labanan ako but when I put my hands inside her shirt and started caressing her stomach in circles she gave in.

I suck her lower lip, nibbing it while pulling away from our kisses. "Tayo na."

There's a large question mark on her face. She is so puzzled. "W..what?"

"Tayo na. Stand up. We have work, remember?" I said to make sense.

Her face turned red like she is embarrass.

"What the!" I almost drop to the floor when with all her strength she pushed me away. "Para saan 'yon?!" I asked while pulling my s**t together.

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. Talking about mood swings, she really has it.

Padabog siyang tumayo mula sa higaan.

"What did I do?" tanong ko sa sarili nang ibagsak pa niya ang pinto ng banyo.

She gave me the silent treatment habang nasa byahe. I am internally calculating her monthly cycle on my head. I was thinking kung baka nireregla na naman siya, but her last period was just 2 weeks ago.

Natural ba talaga sa kanya ang bigla nalang nagsusungit? Is she abnormal?

"Want to have breakfast tomorrow?" I started the conversation. Mapapanis na kasi ang laway ko. We can't have dinner since she has work during the night, nakakaasar nga eh. She's making me worried. But I couldn't say anything about it baka ano pa isipin niya.

"I'll text you if hindi pa ako pagod n'on."

I hide my disappointment with a nod. Nasanay na ako na nandiyan siya. Kung pwede ko lang hingin sa kanya na huwag na siyang magtrabaho at ibigay nalang sa akin ang lahat ng oras niya. But who am I to asked that? I shouldn't cross the line. Baka totohanin niya ang sinabi niya kagabing itigil na ang ginagawa naming dalawa.

"Desmond," seryosong sambit niya sa pangalan ko. Nakaparada na ako sa labas ng bahay nila pero hindi pa siya bumababa. "Ngayong balik serbisyo na ako hindi na ganoon ka luwang ang oras ko..."

"I will understand. I won't compete," putol ko kaagad para malinaw ang lahat.

She played with her finger. Deretso lang ang tingin niya. "I don't think our set up still works for me. Wala na akong panahon for sex."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Lumingon siya sa akin. I couldn't read her expression. "Walang tayo. How could I break up with you?"

Oh, yeah right. Dumbass. But it still feels like it. "Akala ko pa naman nagiging magkaibigan na tayo."

She frustratingly sigh. "One month, Des. Ayaw ko na sa ganitong set up. Kapag nalaman 'to ni Papa, magagalit siya sa akin."

"Am I boring you?" I am desperate for more sensible explaination.

"No." She put her hand above mine na nakahawak na sa tuhod niya. "You're good in bed. I don't have that much experience but I know for sure na magaling ka. You made sure I always finishes pero kasi iba na rin priority ko. I think we should end it."

Napasandal ako sa upuan. Kinuha ko ang kamay mula sa kanya tsaka ako napahilamos.

"You can find another woman naman eh. Marami naman diyan."

"But we click!" maktol ko. I already master her in bed. Bakit kailangan pa maghanap ng iba? Okay naman set up namin ah.

"I'm really sorry, Desmond. Isang buwan nalang then let's end it na."

The day went terrible for me. Isang buwan? Seryoso ba siya? Anong gagawin ko sa isang buwan? Sulitin siya? Kainis naman oh!

Tinawag ko ang assistant ko. I ask him to bring me a whiskey. He hesitantly followed me pero sumunod na rin naman. Mainit na ang ulo ko kaya muntik ko na siyang sesantehin but I remembered na si Sam pala ang nagpapasahod sa kanya.

"Sir, may meeting po sa supplier in 2 hours," pinaalam niya sa akin ang schedule nang madala na niya ang alak na hinihingi ko.

I take two shots before answering him. "Okay. Knock on my door if nandiyan na sila." It's his cue to go out pero matagal pa niya akong inobserbahan. I find it irritating. "What are you doing here still? Iinom ka rin ba?"

Umiling siya. "Ah hindi po sir. B..baka kasi may ipag-uutos pa po kayo," sabi niya na halatang nagpapalusot nalang.

I shoo him away by waving my hand.

I wanted to drink and drink but I just take 4 shots in total. Sam is a good friend, I don't want to put him in trouble because of being drunk.

Napaisip ako sa biglaang paghingi ni Clezl na itigil na namin ang lahat. Old painful memories is hunting me again. Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Jewel sa akin, she left me; but worst than Clezl tinakbuhan niya lang ako without giving me the heads up first.

"I don't like the assistant you gave me," ani ko kay Sam nang puntahan ko siya sa kanila.

He's feeding his daughter. I still couldn't process that he became a family man, siya pa talaga nauna sa aming lahat.

"If you gonna ask for a lady secretary I can't give it to you."

"Hindi naman. I just don't like an assistant na parang gustong manghimasok sa buhay ko."

Lumingon siya sa akin ganoon din ginawa ng anak niya. Sam's daughter look exactly like him pero kapag itinabi rin sa asawa niya kamukha rin ng asawa niya, weird. Kung ako kaya magkaanak sinong magiging kamukha?

"Umiinom ka ba sa trabaho?" may pagdududa na tanong niya.

"Yes," I don't deny. "Pero ginagawa ko naman trabaho ko. Kita mo naman resulta 'di ba?"

Napailing lang siya. Sam is very strict pagdating sa trabaho, mautak 'yan, kung ibang tao lang ako panigurado he will not gonna shrugged off my alcohol problem.

"One wrong move dahil sa lasing ka tatanggalin kita," paalala niya.

"Yes, Sir. But I don't make mistakes," natatawa kong sabi.

"Kung ililista ko pagkakamali mo one long bond paper ay hindi magkakasya."

He's right. No need to get insulted.

Dumating ang asawa niya kaya cue ko na 'yon na umalis. His wife is too kind to offer me a dinner pero tinanggihan ko na. Nakakainggit lang tumingin sa kanila. I'll better spare myself with all the what if's.