Goodbye, My Love

4—The Morning

Colin pulled the lapels of his jacket closer together, looking over his shoulder at the rain that was starting to pick up. He lived next door, and I had the impression that he had run right over after he had gotten the call from his brother—and the thing that bothered me, was the fact that he wasn’t even halfway as wet as Simone was. And how had that come to be, when his house was further than her car was parked?

“Laela. I came over to see if Simone was alright.”

A personal favor to his brother.

Wasn’t that convenient?

I had always found myself wondering whether or not he had ever come to accept me as his brothers’ wife. But judging by the fact that he was not condoning his brothers’ affair, I guessed that the answer to that question, was no. I was nothing than a good friend with which his brother shared a home and a bed. It was nothing serious.

I managed to pull myself out of my thoughts, telling myself that indulging them too much would only end up depressing me even more. So, I stepped aside, plastering a smile onto my face, even though it felt like the worst thing imaginable.

“Well then, let’s not keep them waiting, shall we?”

It was in moments like this that I genuinely found myself feeling envious of Simone. All that she needed to do, was shed a few tears, or walk through the rain, and she was given the love and warmth that I had spent years trying to get from my husband. It was like she managed to get it without even trying.

Colin knew exactly where to go to find Simone and Austin, and for the sake of my sanity, I decided that I wasn’t going to follow him in. What good would it do me? After all, he would only check up on her, and that was all that there was to it. There was nothing for me to supervise.

But what I did think of doing, was finding him something else to where. I knew that Austin wouldn’t mind, because as I had stated before, the two of them were brothers. He would be able to get the clothes back another day, or he would simply tell him to keep them.

When I opened the doors to Austins’ cabinet, and found myself incapable of choosing what to take. The most obvious options, were the things that he didn’t wear, which was all hung up in a separate section of his cabinet. But it was difficult for me to make the decision to give those to Colin, as they were all things that I had gotten for him.

It was difficult, but I finally managed to make the decision, and I pulled together a fresh set of clothes—clothes that I had bought Austin. I doubted that he would even realize that his brother was wearing his clothes and if he did notice, I doubted that he would have a problem with it.

By the time that I walked out of our bedroom again, Colin had already completed his check up, and he must have stated that Simone was perfectly fine, because he had been in the process of making his way downstairs when I had caught him.

“Colin.”

He stopped walking, turning to look at me in a rather detached manner. It seemed like he didn’t really care about what I was going to say to him, but truthfully, I didn’t really care. If I gave him these clothes, I would feel better about myself and all of the effort that I had just made.

“Laela. It is getting quite late—I think that you should go to bed.”

“I’ll go to bed soon—I just came to give you some clean clothes. I don’t want you getting sick on top of all of this.”

I didn’t want him getting sick, because I knew just as much as anyone, that Austin wouldn’t dare to give him a break if he got sick. He would need to push his own health aside, and make sure that he was still in good enough shape to ensure that he could take care of Simone.

“I think that it would take a lot more than some bad weather to get me down.”

Even though he seemed to be keeping his composure quite well, something that was obvious to me, was the fact that he was somewhat surprised by the fact that I was doing what I was doing. But then again, I found myself in a position where I was forced to acknowledge the fact that all of this was out of character. I wouldn’t ordinarily have done anything like this, but for some or other reason, I was feeling generous today.

“Regardless of whether or not you’re going to be affected, just go change your clothes. They’re new—and they still have their tags on. Austin won’t be happy if you leave now, in any case.”

I felt like that was the best parting statement that I could have made, under the circumstances, and I knew that if I had any hopes of being able to leave this conversation with my dignity, then I needed to do so as soon as possible. It was why I got my affairs in order, and turned around to go back up into the bedroom as soon as I could.

I knew that I wasn’t going to do it if I didn’t do it now, which is why I was being so strict with myself. It was one of those things that simply needed to happen.

One of the reasons why Colin might have been so caught off guard by my kindness, was possibly because of the fact that I had disrespected him more times that he could count when my grandmother had been hospitalized—and as if I didn’t already have a dislike towards the young surgeon, the operation didn’t fare well either. And then I was the one who was humbled, because the knowledge that he wouldn’t even have considered doing the surgery if it hadn’t been for his brother, was something that was made clear to me.

The Next Day

After the events of the evening, it seemed like the weather had taken a turn for the better. I knew this, because when I found myself waking up in the early hours of the morning, I was able to pick up on the sun shining in through the curtains.

And it couldn’t even have been six o’clock yet.

After all, I always woke up early, and I doubted that today was going to be the exception.

When I had finally managed to gather the courage to go downstairs, the sight that I found myself looking at, was a nauseating one. Austin was in the kitchen, wearing an apron over his tight-fitting grey shirt, making scrambled eggs.

But that wasn’t the part that made me feel sick.

The part that made me sick, was the fact that it was Simone for whom he was making breakfast. Not once in the two years that we had been married, had he dared to make me breakfast. And now look at what he was doing. It just didn’t make sense, or feel fair for the matter. He was acting like a husband, to his w***e.

A loving husband.

Simone, on the other hand, didn’t even look as ill as she had looked last night, so either, Colin had did a number on her with the medication that he had given her, or whatever he had done, or she had simply been putting up a front. Personally, I felt like I had reason to believe that it was the latter of the two options.

“Austin, please just make sure that they’re cooked all the way through, alright? I don’t fancy eating raw eggs again.”

Again? That gives me the impression that this is not the first time that the two of them find themselves in a situation where Austin is cooking for her, and the thought in itself made me feel even worse than I had been since I had walked in here.

As if hearing everything that was going on between the two of them wasn’t already enough, Simone went up to Austin and offered him a strawberry, intimately feeding him with her fingers.

The sight disgusted me beyond measure, and I found myself fighting off the urge to turn around and return to the bedroom. The only thing keeping me here, was my desire to ensure that I set the correct boundaries, and that she was aware of the fact that I was far from comfortable with what was going on. And what made all of this so much worse on my heart and mind, was the fact that I was very aware of the fact that the two of them matched one another perfectly.

They made a great couple.

And yet, that knowledge practically stabbed me in the chest.

“They make quite the sight, do they not?”

I stilled, feeling the hair on the back of my neck stand on edge. It took me a moment to make the connection that the person who had spoken to me, was no one other than Colin. Seeing him here, in my house, after he had deliberately communicated to me that he would not be staying here, left me questioning what may have happened once I had gone up to my room. Perhaps the change of clothes had convinced him that staying here would be better than running up and down between the two houses. Or perhaps his brother had simply been difficult enough that he had decided that he would be better off staying here instead of upsetting Austin.

I cleared my throat, making sure that the noise was loud and deliberate enough to catch their attention.

“What a fine morning it is today! The weather looks lovely!”

I forced a smile onto my face, stepping into the kitchen myself. I allowed myself to spare one last look at Colin, actually taking note that he had decided to wear the clothes that I had given him. He mouthed a silent thank you, before I turned away from him and focused my attention on my husband once more.

“Laela! You’re awake! I’m sure that Austin is making enough for the two of you to join us.”

The two of us?

For a moment, panic flooded through my body and I found myself wondering how she had come to learn that I was expecting a child. But I also realized that I was allowing myself to get worked up over absolutely nothing, because not only had she been referring to Colin, but Austin didn’t even know about the baby. The only way that she would learn of it, was through him. That was something that I was confident in.

“It seems to me that I have lost my appetite. But you are welcome to make yourself at home, Simone. I stocked up our fridge yesterday.”

Perhaps it was quite childish of me to try and display the level of dominance that I was currently portraying, but truthfully speaking, I simply couldn’t handle this. She needed to know that she might have been Austin’s mistress, but she was not the mistress of this house. And that was something that would not change, as long as I was around. That much I could promise her.

After all, I had already been here for two years.

This was more my home than it was anyone else’s, and I would always be the true mistress of this house. I wasn’t about to allow someone like her to take my place in the way that she was, regardless of the emotional and physical strain that I would be carrying.