Phoenix Rising

Chapter Ten

It had been two weeks in my new home. During that time I had woken in the King's bed with him lying awake beside me, watching me, every morning.

We would get dressed and head down to the dining hall shortly after to eat breakfast with Radic and Lily.

Every day Blade would pile my plate high with foods loaded with iron and natural vitamins. He had ordered the kitchen Omegas to make a special protein shake for me to drink to replenish my malnourished body. I would also drink one of those at lunch and dinner along with at least eight containers of water a day. It was astounding how quickly my body had caught up and filled out. It truly made me wonder if maybe I did have a wolf hidden somewhere inside because I looked better and healthier than I ever had. Lily had even said my skin had a nice tan glow to it now.

Blade made sure I ate all of my food at each meal. He also took me to the Kingdom's infirmary and had one of the women doctors do a full body assessment of me along with an estimated I.Q assessment.

She said I was quite sharp even with only completing seven out of seventeen years of schooling.

Apart from my reading and writing, she said my fluid and crystallized intelligence came out to be that of around a thirty-year-old shifters Level.

Blade seemed to be rather proud of that, and so was I. Although I wasn't too sure what both of those words meant, it still put a smile on my face.

Blade and Radic had shown Lily and I around the east side of the Kingdom that we hadn't seen yet. Thankfully there were no Taverns or angry men yelling at innocent women on the east side.

That's actually where the training grounds were.

Lily had stayed with Radic because she wished to begin training to learn more than the basic moves that I was able to show her with the sparse time we had back in the Cresent Tribe. Even though typically women shifters were not allowed to train or become warriors, Blade allowed it per my request. I had also wanted to stay and spar with Radic who was apparently the Royal Beta and Trainor of the Royal wolves.

Blade said no of course. He had promised to bring me back in a week or so because he still felt like I needed a little more time for my body to adjust to all of the newfound weight I had suddenly put on, so I realized I couldn't be upset with him.

I remember him making a comment along the lines of, "I just found you my love. I don't wish to break you unless it is because you are under me in our bed."

That made me turn a new shade of red I wasn't aware I could be.

Kronos had appeared and taken us back to the castle after that. I wished I could say I had more energy with all of the protein and iron now pumping through my body. However, I felt more tired than ever. Blade had said it could be my body trying to adjust to the sudden surge of nutrients and the newfound amount of sleep I was getting.

I found sleep came easy lying next to a warm giant that made me feel safer than I ever had. I had also found dreams and images I couldn't remember when I woke had begun to happen the second night I had slept. It was odd because I had never been a dreamer until now. It was also odd because I always woke with terrible night sweats recently.

I had found that Blade was rather sweet because of that. At least three different times in the last two weeks he had scooped me up from the bed and put me in the bath, even bathed me despite my protests.

He had simply stated, " you are mine Ajey. I will always take care of you."

I found that Blade was rather sweet despite his hard exterior, at least when it came to me. He had asked me several times now if I was sure I didn't want to make changes around the castle to feel more at home. I'd politely reject each time letting him know maybe I would in the future but for now, I was content. The truth was I felt a little overwhelmed by the new life I was thrust into. I wasn't sure I could handle many more changes at the moment without completely losing my head.

I was very grateful for Blade and the newfound home. I was grateful for the wonderful food I got to eat every night and all of the sleep I could now get. I was grateful to have a bathroom and a nice bathtub to bath in and a man who took care of me the way Blade had for the last few weeks.

It wasn't that I was upset with my new life, it just felt like I didn't really know my place- purpose. Was I just to be Blade's mate, his wife. I'd asked if I could be a part of the Royal Warriors once I had trained my new filled-out form into shape. Blade had given me a firm hell no to my question. Specifically, he had mentioned how there was no use in that because within the next year or so I would be bearing our firstborn child and become their full-time caregiver- their mother.

I had been rather silent afterward because I really hadn't known how to tell him I couldn't be a mother. Jack had made sure of that on my fifteenth birthday. Thankfully the doctor who had examined me respected my wishes when I had asked her to omit that from her report because I wanted to be the one to break the news to Blade- privately. I still didn't know a lot about him, but one thing I had observed was he held quite the short temper inside. I knew he would be liable to have a violent fit of rage once I did and I did not wish for the doctor nor anyone else in the hospital to catch the receiving end of it.

I also knew once I did tell him, things would change. I knew if I couldn't give him a child he would have to seek out a woman who could, and I needed to be far stronger mentally and physically than I currently was before that could happen. Otherwise, I was sure I would break. I couldn't figure out if it was the mark amplifying my feelings for Blade or his kindness towards me, but nonetheless, I had grown attached to him over the last few weeks.

However, I knew I had to prepare myself and tell him before our wedding ceremony in two weeks. I had to tell him before we completed our bond because maybe he would allow me to just live out the rest of my days as a Royal Warrior once he knew. I could swear to never be with another and live out a life of peaceful solidarity and he could find another to give him a family without hurting me. If we completed the bond I would feel it every time he was with another. Lily says it's a burning sensation in your lower abdomen that feels as if a searing hot blade is slicking you over and over again while your mate is with another. It sounded like a fate worse than death itself.

I hadn't thought clearly before when Blade and I had those two rather heated exchanges because having him intimately touch me always seemed to cloud my head. I'd had weeks now to think clearly about everything though, and I was certain of what needed to be done.

However, I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep avoiding Blade every time he tried to kiss me. I learned the night that he had gone down between my legs that kissing him would only lead to more. Not that I didn't want more, I did, but I couldn't.

It wasn't an odd feeling for me to want something but not be able to have it. I'd felt that way for years with things such as a real bed, real food, and wanting a real home.

However, wanting to be close to Blade seemed to outweigh all of the other things I'd ever wanted before. I knew I would miss him once I told him the truth and he discarded me. I would miss him more than all of the luxuries living in the castle provided- even more than the food.

I think what I'll miss the most is the breathtaking way he looks at me with those honey-colored eyes that hold an odd emotion behind them I still can't quite place my finger on.