A Rose In The Dark

II

  I wake up to the sound of a car's honk. My eyes open slowly, everything is very bright at first so I blink a few times until my vision is less blurry allowing me see the room perfectly. For a moment I'm confused to where I am. But then it hits me. The handsome stranger. Kissing him. Getting into the back of his expensive car and making out while his body guard drove us to an even more expensive apartment. And finally, I remember the best night of my life. Tizoc does know how to play. Even though we barely slept, I feel amazing and full of energy.

I stretch myself before looking to the other side of the bed. He's not there, but the smell of him lingers on his pillow making me sure it wasn't a dream. 

  I take a look around my surroundings. I lay down on a king size bed with navy blue satin sheets. The white walls around me look boring without a single decoration and the gray carpet covering the floor looks way too clean. There's a black small bookshelf near the window, but everything in there is too organized. Even the closet looks neat when I get glimpse of it through the open door. I start to wonder if he even lives here.

  I turn around to see the clock on the nightstand and my blood turns cold. My shift started two hours ago. I get up with a rush that makes me dizzy. My clothes are everywhere in the room. I get dress as fast as I can and pick up my phone that's coming out from my purse. I have several missed calls from Marley and from my mom, and I also notice the many messages I have waiting to be open. 

  As I put my shoes on the bedroom's door opens. My hearts stops as I see Tízoc looking even more handsome in the daylight. He looks fresh and clean. And I probably look horrible with makeup stains and messy hair. Not to mention the dirty clothes I'm wearing. At first he doesn't acknowledge me, his attention is all taken by the phone on his hands. His thumbs move fast across the device's screen while he walks inside his bedroom. He's wearing a black t-s**t that hugs his chest and that makes contrast with the white on the walls. 

  "Good morning" I say awkwardly. He stops typing and glances at me. I feel nervous. But then he smirks. 

  "I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up" I feel my cheeks redden. 

  "I was just about to leave" he goes back to his phone. 

  "Do you want some breakfast?" I'm taken back by his question. That's not how the morning after a one night stand usually goes. Last night I was enchanted by him, but now my gut tells me to get away from him.

  "No, thanks. I really should go" he nods without taking his eyes from his phone. I start making my way out of his bedroom. From the corner of my eye I see Tízoc throwing the device to the bed and follow me out. Once we're at the door we finally make eye contact and smile at each other. 

  "Danilo is down there waiting for you. He'll take you anywhere you want" 

  "Oh! He doesn't have to, I can call a ride" he stares at me with playful eyes. 

  "I insist" I nod knowing that it was my best option at the moment. Tízoc opens the door for me, but before I can get out, he gently holds my arm. "I had I great time last night" I bite my lower lip. 

  "Me too" he suddenly puts a piece of paper in front of my face. I frown as I reach for it. "What's this?"

  "It's my business card. It has my personal number. If you ever want to repeat" my hands start to sweat at his comment. I'm not sure I want to see him again. I was confused. He didn't look like the type to call back. I feel the need to tell him that this was a one time only thing.  

  "Okay" is what comes out instead. "Bye!" I admire him one last time. He smiles and waves at me. 

  I walk as fast as I can trying to figure out the building's exit. For some reason I can still feel Tízoc's eyes drilling holes in the back of my head. When I finally reach the outside, I see Danilo waiting for me standing next to a car that was not the one we came in last night. He opens the passenger's door without greeting me and once he's inside he hands me an unlocked phone. 

  "Please put your address" I'm surprised at the sound of his voice. It's very deep and almost gave me chills. Once I put it, we drove off without another word. 

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

  Tears fall from my eyes as I exit KIDZWORLD. Marley's words echo through my mind. 

  "We can't have you anymore Harmony" My lips start to tremble. 

  "I'm really sorry Marley! This won't ever happen again, I swear" I hear my voice break. And I pray Marley hears it too and take some pity with me. "It's the first time in all my time working here that I'm late and I don't show up. It won't happen again!" Marley sighs. 

  "It's not just that Harmony. The boss and I have been talking about letting you go for a long time. There's a lot of bad reviews with your name on them" I raise an eyebrow as I stare at him. I can't believe his words. After all my hard work he's putting some bad reviews from some privilege rich women first. "I really wish things were different. But hey, I'll give you a recommendation letter. How about that?" I smile sarcastically. 

  "I don't think that'll be necessary" I stand up harshly and leave not caring to say goodbye. All I could think about was how screw I was. 

  When I get into my car I start to yell. My hands turn into fists and hit the steering wheel repeatedly. What was I thinking when I thought that going home with Tízoc was a good idea, or when I decided to drink. My head hurts from the stress, and my body is sore. I couldn't even shower when I got home, I just changed clothes and left, I know for sure I smell horrible. And now my stomach screams for food but I'm pretty sure I'll throw up whatever I eat. I feel like a big, big mess. 

  But staying in this parking lot is not going to change anything. I start the car and go home. 

 ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

  There's too much noise. Too much people talking. 

  Home. 

  This place doesn't feel like a home to me anymore. Nowhere feels like home to me. Even my own bedroom feels weird. I feel like a stranger in my childhood house. 

  I can hear the twins fighting through the tin walls. I can hear Bobby, our pug, barking outside my door. The living room's TV is too loud. The blender in the kitchen is too loud. 

  I lay on my bed trying to get some sleep. My head and body are killing me. But I know I won't be getting any sleep before ten at night. The sound of the blender stops, but the other noises continue. I hear footsteps before there's a knock on my door. 

  "Come in" I say, The door opens revealing my mom. 

  "Oh don't tell me you're tired! It was your decision to go out last night."

  "Do you need something mom?" I don't feel like fighting today.  

  "Yes, help me cook" she doesn't say anything else and goes back to the kitchen. 

  I get up feeling my energy drain. I can't believe that my mood and day were completely ruin. This morning I was feeling like I was on cloud nine. Now I feel depressed and sick. 

  I walk into the kitchen to help my mom. She tells me about the latest gossips from her group of friends and our family. When we're done I put the plates and she calls my dad and brothers. We all sit down in a comfortable silence. But it was obvious it wasn't going to last long. 

  "How was your night, sis?" I hear Theo ask. 

  "Did you get a boyfriend?" now it was Thade who spoke. 

  "It was good, and no. No boyfriend" both twins grunt. 

  "Did you make it to work? I saw you leave so fast when you arrived earlier" I look at my dad. If there was something I wasn't going to do was telling them I got fired. 

  "Yeah. I almost didn't make it to my shift" I try to laugh. 

  "By the way, who brought you home?" mom asks. I'm thinking about excusing myself. I couldn't handle any questions today. "I saw from the window the car park in front but I couldn't see anything inside. The windows were too tinted. I was surprised to see you came out." 

  "It was a friend" I hope that the answer is good enough. She seems to get the hint because she stops asking about it and changes the subject. 

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o  

  Days go by and Lana's wedding is near. I'm still unemployed and money is flying away. I leave the house everyday and pretend to be at work while I fill job applications. But today I had to pause my fake schedule because I've been throwing up all morning. My mother comes every once in a while to check on me but my constant mood changes makes her not want to be around me. 

  "I brought you some soup" she comes in. 

  "Thanks" I mumble. My face looks very pale and I feel very weak. My mother puts the bowl in my nightstand and proceeds to touch my forehead. 

  "You're not burning so I guess is not an infection."

  "I think is just something I ate" I go and grab the soup, but the sudden smell of onions and chicken makes my stomach complain. I get up and run to the bathroom letting everything out. My mom runs behind me and rubs my back while I'm kneeling. 

  "Should we go to the doctor? It's been days Harmony" yes, I was worried it was something bad. I could feel my subconscious telling me this wasn't normal. But how was I going to pay a consult and medication? 

  "I swear if tomorrow I'm not fine, I'll go" she just nods. 

  I stand up and brush my teeth. Once I'm done I walk back to bed still feeling weak. As I lay down I see my phone in the nightstand. I haven't touch it today since I spend most of the morning sleeping. I grab it and unlock it. That's when I notice something. A notification catches my attention, it's from an app I use to track my period. And it hits me. 

  I'm late.

  Very late. 

  My mom picks up the plate and looks at my concern face. 

  "Are you okay?" I nod and give her a smile. I was not okay. 

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

  Three pregnancy tests lay on top of the bathroom sink.

  All positive. 

  At first I didn't wanted to accept it. I couldn't be pregnant. I wasn't that unlucky. But as I went back to that night, I remember how we did it multiple times. And I was hundred percent sure that in the last rounds he didn't use any protection because he couldn't find anymore. And like the i***t I am, I told him it was fine as long as he pulled out on time.

  A pregnancy at this moment of my couldn't happen. Specially when it was consequence of an irresponsible night. I'm not financially stable to be pregnant and much less to support a baby. Hell, I don't even want kids later in the future. I can't have this baby, and I don't want to. But I feel dizzy and sick at the thought of how much getting rid of it is going to cost. Not to mention I'm scared. 

  I can't do this on my own. But I can't tell anyone. I'm completely alone. 

  I hide the tests and get out of the bathroom. In the way back to my room I'm face to face with my mom. My hands become sweaty and I feel myself trembling. My grandma use to tell me that a mother's instinct was so powerful and mysterious. She said that a mother could tell when something was wrong just by looking at her child. And while I stand there, making eye contact with her, I can't shake the feeling that tells me she knows something. 

  "Is everything okay?" she asks. I see her eyes moving, examining my body. I get even more nervous. The walls around me disappear. I feel like I'm in a dark space with no way out, and she's in front of me, waiting to eat me alive. 

  "Yeah!" my voice betrays me. "I'm getting way better so I think I'll take the afternoon shift today" I can tell she knows I'm lying. 

  "Did, something happen that night when you went out?" 

  "What do mean?" I play dumb. I know exactly what she's asking.

  "Forget it. Do you have a dress for the wedding already?" I let a relieve sigh and nod. 

  "I bought something the other day after work" another lie. I didn't have money for a new dress. I was going to use my graduation dress, with some alterations made by me including turning it from white to pink and adding fake jewel stones with a glue gun.  

  "Okay. If you need anything I'll be in my room" I nod again and continue to walk to my room. 

  Once I'm inside, I let tears fall again. Why me? I ask. Did I do something really bad and this is my karma? I walk towards my closet to change and fake another work day. When I open it a bag falls from the hangers. I pick it up and I notice something coming out. A white card with silver and black letters. Tízoc's numbers shines like it's a signal from the sky. I have to see him. I don't know what he'll say but he needs to know. He's as guilty as me. I dial his number and wait for a response. 

  "Hola?"  my hearts starts pounding really fast at the sound of his voice. It almost makes me want to hang up. I take a breath of courage and speak. 

  "Hi Tízoc, this is Harmony. I don't think you remember me" there's the faint sound of music in the background and voices. I can already hear him rejecting me. 

  "Of course I remember you! Best night of life"  he laughs. 

  "I need to speak to you, it's important" 

  "So soon?"  he's flirting. I can almost see his smirk. "I'm at a little party right now. Why don't you come?" I close my eyes and grunt. 

  "Can we meet somewhere private?" he laughs again and now I feel irritated. 

  "Fine. Are you at your house? I'll send Danilo to get you." 

  "That won't be necessary. Text me your address and I'll be there, what time works for you?" 

  "Right now it's fine. I'm not that far away" 

  "I'll see you soon" I don't let him talk longer and hang up. A moment later a message comes with his address, and a wink emoji. 

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

  Two knocks it all it takes for him to open the door. He's shirtless and wearing a pair of basketball shorts. I gulp trying to avoid looking at his chest. He's has a smirk on his face and I almost feel pity for ruining his mood after the ice bucket I'll be throwing to him in a few moments.

  "Hi" he steps asides inviting me in. 

  "Hi" I say back while walking in. "Can we sit?" I point towards his living room. He nods. I take a sit in an individual armchair, he seat across from me. I feel a knot forming in my throat. Suddenly I don't feel brave anymore and another set of tears threats to come out. 

  "I'm starting to think you didn't came here to repeat" I shake my head saying no. Now he looks concern. I want to run away. What was I thinking? What am I suppose to say? 

  "I'm pregnant" is what comes out. He freezes. His brown skin turning pale. "And I know for sure it's yours. You're the only guy I've been with in months. And I'm not asking you for anything.  I don't want anything from you, but I think telling you is the right thing. You deserve to know." 

  Tízoc doesn't move. His eyes are glued somewhere behind me. I start silently crying feeling this was a mistake. I feel like an i***t. I have to get out. I stand up and Tízoc looks at me with shook. 

  "Where are you going?" I sob. 

  "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have come!" he softly grabs my hand. 

  "Please, sit down. Lets talk" he offers me a half smile and I nod following his request. 

  "I just found out today. With three pregnancy tests." 

  "And, do you, want it?" 

  "No" there's a relieve in his face after hearing my answer. "We're strangers. I'm not in a good position to have a child" he nods. 

  "Are you getting an abortion?" I'm the one that nods this time. He sighs and rubs his face. "I'll pay for it. And I'll be at the clinic with you. Who else knows about this?" his words give me some type of comfort. I'm still scared and guilty. But I'm sure of my decision and knowing he's going to financially support me gives me strength to keep going. 

  "No one knows." 

  "I'll make some calls to find a safe clinic to do it. I'll call you as soon as I can" Tízoc reaches for my hand. "You're not alone" my heart burst with an unknown feeling.

  You're not alone. Those are powerful words.