The Right Time

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Sypnosis

Jane's relationship with Mikhail is a secret. Only those friends from the university knew about his ex boyfriend. But on this day, after their service, their senior pastor asks them and tries to confirm if they are in a relationship. Jane and Khail look at each other. As jane confirms, it brought shock to their churchmates. But even before they ask, Khail told them they broke up 7 months ago that brought more shock to their minds.

Chapter 1

"Ano?!!" Napalingon saamin ang ilan sa mga kasama namin dahil sa lakas ng boses ni Yuri. As a response, siniringan ko siya. Nabanggit niya kase sakin na may naci circulate na rumor about me and khail, nag confirm ako in a calm way that cause her to shout. If what Yuri told me was true that means our Pastors know about our relationship too.

It's actually not a big deal pero ang advice kase saamin if it's not necessary and no marriage in mind we should keep waiting for the right time. We just need to focus on how we will walk on our christianity. The first boyfriend you had should be the last and become your husband in the future, because some feelings we call love are just deceiving us. Something like, this is true love but the truth is it is a bait to ruin your Christianity.

And at my age 23, it is still consider young to have a partner. As I expected the pastors seem to know. After the service and the clean up they called for us both. We enter one of the storage room of the church, it's quiet spacious that it has tables and chairs too.

Naupo ako on one of those chair, nakaharap sa pastor.

"I heard about you and Khail. Is it true?" It simple yet you can sense authority. I nodded. Khail as his usual self is quiet.

"Gaano na katagal? Bat di kayo nag sabi? I mean sure, we respect your privacy but we still want to know your reasons." Pastor Herbert calmly ask.

"We broke up 7 months ago." I immediately turn my head to Khail. My heart beat slowly but I can hear them. I mean, i never expect him to say that.

"What? But you two seems fine?" Confusion is written on the Pastor's face.

Well, that's true. We seem fine..

One of the reasons why we broke up is I am scared to ruin our friendship that we built over the years. For our friendship not to sink, we ended our relationship. For us to still hang out to each other, for us to still walk together in this path and for us not to hurt each other.

But I am not sure if we really didn't hurt each other.

"uhm, we ended it in a good way. We seems to—"

"She ended it because she doubt me. We had this relationship for almost 3 years, sorry for keeping it. She ended it cause she thought an older guy is better because someone like me, 2 years younger than her is likely to cheat." He said his last line as he looks at me. It's like blaming it to me.

Did we really ended it in a good way? or is it just me?

He continuous what he's saying.

"Those 3 years that cause me to doubt myself, am I not enough? Am i really look that way? Am I not trustworthy? Toxicity sorrounded us, she— that cause it can't stand on that toxicity so she broke up with me. Stop saying that you ended it in a good way. You saw me, you hear my beggings yet.."

"..you leave me." Tears. It streaming down his face. My heart that slowly but loudly beating is in pain. So I am the bad guy? I heard the pastor's sigh. I face the Pastor again. I don't know how I look now but, my heart. It really hurts.

"This is the reason why we give advices to you youngsters yet.. never mind. Hindi naman namin kayo pipigilan, we just want to guide you and look what happens?" He's right. If we follow their advices, Khail and I, di namin masasaktan ang isa't isa. Pastor Larry called for Khail to talk alone and Pastor Herbert stay to talk to me.

"Kung 3 years kayo, does it mean may namamagitan na sa inyo nung Grade 12 si Khail?"

"We are just friends that time. Pero nag confess na siya sakin before he graduate Senior High. Naging kami po nung na admit na siya sa Univ na pinapasukan ko." I explained and told him the rest of the story. He said na pwede namin ituloy ang ganitong usapin once Khail is ready since he really cried while explaining the situation.

It makes me look bad..

The last time we talk, we seem fine. He's smiling as he agreed to what I'd said that time. Hindi ko alam na may ganoon pala siyang saloobin. In the past 7 months, we still talk to each other despite the awkwardness between us. We acted like we were good friends in front of them because there's no way I can avoid him. Not in the community we belong to.

Nakasalubong ko si Khail sa paglabas ko. He smiles, mapula ang mata nia but still he smiles. His deep dimples on both of his cheeks, it makes my heart beat faster. May nag aarise na damdamin sa loob ko na gusto siyang yakapin and tell him I'm sorry for hurting him.

But everyone that stands on my shoes will understand the decisions i made 7 months ago. Ngumiti ako sa kanya pabalik, it's a signal. A signal that I will not take him back. It's the best for us.

Nauna siyang lumabas saakin. Both of our houses are near this church. Pero galing sa mag kaibang direksyon.

After that Sunday, rumor spread to our neighborhood. Some are shocked, can't blame them. We really never talk to each other before , even if we saw each other there's no interaction at all. But because of a certain event we became close friends and even walked the path of christianity together.

He even attended the same University i had and looked for an apartment near mine for us to be together. We eat lunch together, spend our vacant time together, but despite those— we doubt each other. Masisi niyo ba ako?

Before we became friends , mas attracted ako sa mas matanda saken. 5 years older or to 20 years older, I don't mind. I have fear of being cheated on. I find young people very active and restless. So I always doubt Khail that he might find someone more interesting than me and leave me. The same goes for him. He doubted me to cheat on someone older than him. This became very toxic and resulted in my decision.

I did great right? Or not?

Ayokong masira ang friendship na sinimulan namin noon so instead na magkasakitan kami sa palagong toxicity ng relationship namin ay tinapos ko na lang and offer him na maging friends na lang kami ulit.

This topic goes on for a week. Nawala din agad. Pero may mga nagtatanong pa rin ng reason ng break up or pano kami nag start. I get them, they are curious but I can't talk about this matter anymore.

Nagpatuloy ang mga araw and time to time kinakamusta kami ng mga senior pastor. Khail on the other side, he makes our sorrounding warm and opens a friendly environment. As the days passed, we revived our friendship. We act comfortably to each other and we do our best not to put our friends in awkwardness.

Hindi na rin naman nila binubuksan ang topic about saamin. But one time, napag usapan ng grupo namin na kumain sa labas. They agreed all.

Habang kumakain kami. Force of habits played us. Siguro dahil sa sobrang comfortable na ulit namin sa isa't isa e nangyari na nga.

While eating, i notice the pork liver on his food. I know how he hates it. At dahil nakasanayan niya na tuwing kakain kami and his food has that, he transfer it to my plate. And he does the same thing today.

There's an extra plate on his side so he can put it there.. but still..

Nabalot ng katahimikan ang table namin ng mga oras na yon. Mukhang natauhan rin si Khail that he tries to explain that it was force of habit. It makes my heart happy.. selfish jane..

Tinapos namin ang araw na yon, ignoring what happens. Pero may naririnig ako sa ilang kasamahan namin na nag a ask kung nagkabalikan kami. I tried to defend myself and Khail.

Marami pang ganoong kaganapan na madalas ko din magawa. For me it seems pretty normal, we were in a 3 year relationship and then become friends again after the break up. It's like muscle memory but I aim to ignore all of that.

5 years later..