Chosen by the Fates

A Prayer Given

Aisling ~

Sionainn was the first to return to the dreaming and help Adah. Cian held Tiffa until Sionainn awoke, then entered the dreaming after him.

Meanwhile, the sullenness following Ashleigh was unbearable, but I had no clue what to say. Every time I was about to open my mouth, I remembered Delphi’s words. “What do you think you’ve been doing every day?”

Despite not remembering, I bore responsibility for Delphi’s actions. I was Delphi.

With every moment of silence between us, I felt the distance between us grow. I wanted to reach out to him, and I dreaded that I would lose the chance to talk this out the moment he returned to the dreaming to assist Adah. I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach about it.

Ashleigh had loved Delphi through countless lives. Without all the memories I can’t possibly understand that kind of love. I only knew the sense of unconditional love I felt between us. It felt profound, clearly built from lifetimes of every relationship imaginable. It was a feeling of complete trust.  

I can’t even begin to comprehend a betrayal like that.

Every so often Ashleigh’s bright eyes would lift to mine, filled with unanswered questions. But when I returned his gaze, he would look away. If I looked as if I was about to approach, he would leave the room with a muttered excuse.

Sionainn watched our awkward dance without comment or interjection. For once, even he was at a loss for words.

If all of that wasn’t bad enough, I was exhausted. I had one job, stay awake, and it felt impossible within even the first few hours. All of this despite my inexplicable entire day of sleep. Sionainn said it likely had something to do with Delphi’s attack on me. 

Or is it my attack on myself?

And occasionally, through it all, I would look at the message Sol sent me. My dream of the wolf saving me from myself was still vivid in my mind. Every hour, every second, I became more and more sure of what I had felt in that dream.

Sol is the golden wolf.

I busied myself with making coffee at a rate that would even impress Tiffa, drawing with whatever was on hand (in this case a ballpoint pen and scrap paper), watching movies on my phone, and even baking cookies. But any time I sat for too long it became a struggle to keep my eyes open.

By the end of the first 24 hours, Ashleigh’s moment to enter the dreaming came. Dread settled into me, and before he could leave the room, I found myself chasing after to catch his hand. Startled, he looked back.

His beautiful features were etched in unspoken pain, worry, fear. The image burned into my mind. I couldn’t bear seeing him that way. I felt his hand abruptly pull from mine, his features smoothing over with the cold walls I remembered at our first meeting. I could feel my heart breaking.

Wordlessly, he turned his back to me and left.

My eyes burned, but tears didn't come.

After that, everything I did felt empty. I felt like a hollowed-out husk with one singular purpose. 

Don’t sleep.

Some small part of me longed to return to the beach, with the wolf curled around me. Away from all of this. 

I began to worry about Miss Meow Meow. We always were there to let her back in. What if she wasn’t fast enough? What if the creature had gotten her? What if a cold snap hit?

Tiffa reminded me of the times Miss Meow Meow would disappear for a few days, and she always returned safe and hale. Tiffa held me when I worried, and she even helped me bake several more batches of whatever we could find ingredients and recipes for.

I was too stressed to eat any of it, though.

Worse, though, by the end of the next day Ashleigh still hadn’t woken up.  I felt at fault for something I didn’t remember doing, but even worse I felt useless.

Sionainn chose to go back into the dreaming to check on Ashleigh and Adah as Cian stayed with Tiffa and me.

My eyes became heavier and heavier, even as my mind raced through all the worried thoughts and fears. I began cycling back to Sionainn’s plan B in addition to everything else in my head. “We hope the wolves intervene again.”

The brothers were all under the assumption that the wolves are sentient creatures rather than people. But what if I know something they don’t? 

Sol is the key…

I should listen to Sionainn. Just keep staying awake. But despite telling myself that, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong. Ashleigh should be awake by now, shouldn’t he? 

Would all of this had happened if I’d been able to remember sooner? Or after everything if I had been able to stay away from Delphi or the beach when the brothers went after Adah?

My eyes snapped open with a start as I was drawing, and panic set in.

Looking down, my lines have become a scribble. I can’t take it anymore.

I know, without a doubt, I am too exhausted for plan A any longer. Sionainn still hasn’t woken up, and I am emotionally tired of feeling useless. I need to trust some part of myself and my own mind.

I'm done being guided through this mess, drifting as the current takes me towards more and more dangerous waters. I am Delphi. And I will take responsibility for whatever some version of myself has done, and fix this. 

Somehow. 

The first step is by starting with the one thing that I seem to know, and the brothers don't. Sionainn had said they need the wolves. So, I will start with that. 

If I am right.

But I can feel something stir within me with newfound energy even as I reach for my phone.

Quickly tapping out a message on my phone, I set it down and wait. I rarely pray, but I find myself doing so. I don’t know how much longer I can stay awake. We need help, and something had obviously happened in the dreaming.

Within moments my phone buzzes, startling me. My heart flips. It’s from Sol. “When and where would you prefer to meet?”

Within moments we have agreed to meet in a few more hours at the Rise and Grind. Now I just need to figure out how to get there.

Sol’s last message is my only hope, “I’ll be there.”