Chosen by the Fates

The Golden Wolf

Aisling ~

“What do you mean Ashleigh went after Delphi?!” I exclaim, worry filling me.

I’m still tired, but the weariness feels manageable now. I was at least able to sleep through the late morning and early afternoon.

Sionainn looks more concerned than I’ve ever seen him. His eyebrows are knit together tightly, his eyes closed. He is bent over with his elbows resting on his knees, snowy locks falling over his face as he rubs his temples. His voice is a controlled calm that feels forced, “Adah believes Delphi was somehow trapped within you on purpose. The pain you felt as you remembered your past was Delphi breaking free. Delphi has returned to the dreaming."

Even now I can feel the emptiness within me that has been there since Delphi’s attack on the brothers, and I know what he is saying is true.

Delphi is gone.

If Delphi is a part of me, how is that possible?

Sionainn continues, "When Ashleigh discovered more of what Adah knows, he vanished without a word.

I believe he has gone after Delphi.”

I stare at Sionainn in shock. I've felt the unbreakable bond between Ashleigh and Delphi, but that should be all the more reason to have a plan first. 

“But we don’t even have a way to cure Delphi, what is he going to do when he finds them?” Tiffa’s interjection is a reflection of my own thoughts. But hearing it aloud also sends a chill through me. Remembering the way Ashleigh had looked at me just before he entered the dreaming fills me with apprehension.

Sionainn shakes his head. Cian’s eyes cast downward; his lips draw into a scowl.

“How long can he stay asleep?” My own voice is softer than I intend, my mind still turning over the new information to process it. 

“When a Lucid enters the dreaming, their body enters a type of stasis if you will. He will neither need to eat nor drink. It will be as if no time has passed when he wakes. This stasis can last indefinitely as his body is tied to the dreaming where he walks, and so he is supplied by the life energy from that bond.”

Tiffa’s mouth drops open, “Wait so you guys could literally live forever in real life, too? This isn't just some dream world thing?”

“Typically, we live out mostly normal lives. You have to remember; we are not within the dreaming every evening in our individual lives. Though depending on how often we enter the dreaming we may simply seem to age a little slower than others.”

Tiffa lets out a low whistle.

Sionainn turns his attention back to me, “I am more interested in this friend of yours. Cian and Tiffa filled me in while you were resting. I’d like to know more, though.”

“I’m not sure how much more I can tell you. I’ve been dreaming about the golden wolf, as well as a friend that felt connected to the wolf. 

When I was too tired to stick to the plan, I reached out and asked about that feeling. They confirmed they could help me find the wolf. They said the wolves could care of the void creature at our house, and also said I would be able to sleep. Something about this tower being protected.

When I slept after that, I saw a white fire along the walls and another wolf was there to protect me.

I only told them about myself, not about you guys as Lucids… and I feel a bit awkward sharing their situation without asking them first. 

I’m also not sure I know much more than that anyway.” I look between Sionainn and Cian.

Sionainn nods thoughtfully as I speak, a light of interest ablaze behind his eyes. When I am done and he speaks, his musical tone is filled with determination. “It is best for us to disclose everything to this friend of yours. They need to know we can be trusted. The wolves may be the only defense we have against the void manifesting here. We will be stronger working together.

Will you ask if your friend would be willing to meet with us?”

I nod, “Of course. Also-“It seems important that I tell Sionainn about my brief experience in the dreaming, “-I believe that I was in the dreaming. It didn’t feel like I was there for very long. 

My own dream began on the beach, and was worried Delphi might find me again. So, I left the beach and tried to leave my dream. I ended up at this stone circle surrounded by giant trees.

After stepping into the circle, I was surrounded by white fire. There was a wolf there which left the circle to fight more of the void outside the circle. 

At the center of the circle was a pedestal with a stone in it filled with moonlight. When I touched it, I remembered I was in the tower. The trees turned into the tower walls, and the alter with the stone turned into my body. When I touched my body, I was able to wake back up.

But I’ve never been anywhere to see those trees before, or the stone circle. I also didn't get the impression that any of it was familiar to me from Delphi's past. Ashleigh had told me once that in my own dreams everything is comprised of places I’ve been as a Lucid, so it all seemed odd to me.

The dream didn’t feel like my dream. 

It was like I was looking at the dream through the filter of what I expected to see, but I didn’t actually have control over what was actually there.

And it didn’t feel like I was dreaming for long, but I’ve slept through the morning and early afternoon.” Once I started to share, the words just flooded out. I have no clue how to distinguish what is important from what isn’t, and I want to learn as much as I can by sharing every part of the experience.

Sionainn is looking at me with a tired smile, “I’m impressed. Adah and I were concerned you may have lost your ties to the dreaming when Delphi fractured from you. It appears we have at least one less thing to worry about.”

I must have looked ready to ask more because Sionainn hurries on, “Let me address what you shared first, and then I promise to answer any questions you have about what we’ve been working on with Adah.”

Satisfied, I nod.

He continues, “It’s good you left the beach. Delphi will likely return to your dreams in an attempt to finish what they began at your last encounter.

As for the dreaming itself, it is quite real with a terrain of its own. That landscape overlaps with the planes and worlds connected to it. You were both in those woods, and also within the tower.

What you did was bridge the two together to return to your body. Remember what that feels like. It is how you will return to yourself in future journeys.

Further, the dreaming exists outside of time. Time there can move incredibly fast, or slow, depending on the circumstances of the journey. You could travel to the farthest plane in what feels like years but was only an instant or you could travel for what feels like a day to a nearby plane but find you slept for a week.

There are even journeys you may find within the dreaming where the net flow of time occurs in reverse.”

I can’t help but interject, “Wait like I could go back in time?” That can’t be possible.

He chuckles, “Not exactly, but dreams may not match the chronicity of the timeline you might know and expect in your waking lives.

Time and space are not to be controlled, but rather, understood and used in ways to suit your needs. Much like planning a picnic when the forecast calls for sun and planning your time in reading when you know it may rain.”

I consider his words, unpacking the implications before I ask, “So how do I keep track of the time changes to understand them?”

Sionainn smiles at that, “You will always be tied to your body, you may use that as a sort of beacon to the point in time in which you left. You must return to it to wake up as Aisling, but no matter where you are you will feel it through the tether of your life force.

That tether will pull you back to your body naturally. It is likely why you were drawn to the place in the dreaming that you were drawn to when you slipped from your own dream.”

The tether of my life force. 

I'm not sure if I know what that tether would feel like. I try to remember every detail of my time in the dreaming. The feel of the dreaming itself. The moonlight filling that crystal. Or that part of me that part of me that feels pulled to Sol as if it has a mind of its own. 

I will need to think on this more when I am in the dreaming again.

Sionainn goes on, “It will be best, going forward, if you are with one of us within the dreaming when you rest. We will be able to assist the wolves within the dreaming, as well as help you as you relearn navigation of the dreaming.”

I nod my agreement.

Sionainn looks pleased, “Good. Now, in regard to Adah. This changes things. If you truly are able to enter the dreaming, it would be best if we could bring you to Adah somehow.

It will be difficult with your ties to Delphi and the void, but Adah has encountered a Lucid corrupted by the void once before. She has devoted much of her time in the dreaming to learning of the void, and the nature of a Lucid’s bond to the dreaming.

As we mentioned before, Midgard is a world where magic has been extinct for some time. 

Adah believes the corruption is using your bond with Delphi and the dreaming to draw the energy needed into this world to physically manifest. It is basically how the void is using you as a gateway. 

Delphi fracturing from you may have simplified things, because if Delphi can’t join with you and we sever you completely from them, the void may no longer be able to use you to compromise this world.”

Cian’s tone is grim, “Then we only need to deal with Delphi.” 

Deal with Delphi? Cian's choice of words fills me with disquiet.

An uneasy silence follows.

Is that the decision Ashleigh had come to as well? Or was Ashleigh afraid of what Sionainn and Cian would choose to do?

I've felt the impression of love and trust Delphi felt for the brothers, and I know how deeply they love them. However, if faced with a choice between Delphi or stopping the void, where would their priorities fall?

I look between them, my voice faltering with worried fear for Ashleigh and Delphi, “Are you saying… Delphi can’t be cured of the corruption?”

***

‘Adah believes it can’t be done. Her plan is to save you. She believes you to be the only true remaining piece of Delphi.’

Guilt, worry, fear, and sorrow whirl within me like a tide pool, along with an indescribable feeling of fragile weakness.

If I were stronger, could I save Delphi? It feels synonymous with saving myself.

I’d sent a text to Sol, asking him to meet with us. He hadn’t replied, and I’d found myself worrying about him, too. The image of the blackened and charred stretch of forest from the first fight between the void and the wolves fills my mind. 

Would the wolves be ok this time?

Tiffa needed some rest, and Cian went with her to nap. Sionainn decided to sit with tea and a good book in case Ashleigh wakes up. 

But I needed some quiet, and there was a pamphlet in our suite that made the hotel spa look perfect. 

I now sit in the hotel hot tub with my head leaned back against the rim, sure I made the right decision as I feel the heat from the water relieve some of the tired tension in my muscles. 

The hot tub is the size of a large pool, designed to look more like an indoor hot spring. Occasionally rain fixtures turn on with the soft sound of thunder, Sending a fine spray of cool water sprinkling down above.

Ripples of light cascade across the ceiling, which is alight with built in stars and clouds. The detailed reflection of natural beauty built into the spa reminds me of the Thai restaurant Sol had brought me to on our one date.

Am I really that surprised? Didn’t Sol say his family owned this tower?

I remember how he'd mentioned that he manages his family’s finances. I’m beginning to think they are a bunch of hotel and real estate moguls.

As I think of him, the memory of his scent washes over me leading my mind wandering to other memories I have of the woods. The sound of childlike laughter echoing through the trees fills my thoughts.

We had lived here when I was very young, my dad and I. We moved away when my mom died, and I didn’t return until I was in my 20’s after my dad had died as well. I went to the community college here, which is how I met Tiffa. Then I dropped out of college, in part because I couldn’t afford to keep going or balance my class grades with the work hours I needed to do to keep attending. By then Tiffa and I had become roommates.

A drawn out sigh escapes my lips. 

It’s been a long time since I thought about my childhood. A deep ache settles into my chest, my stomach twists, and my eyes burn. The mist in the hair settles across across my cheeks as if to replace my unshed tears. 

I often focus on the moment, things like work, Tiffa, and Miss Meow Meow because those are all things I still have. My life here and now is what is real.

The past is filled with the irreparable pain of loss.

But what is real anymore?

I think of world the brothers have introduced Tiffa and I to, and the golden wolf. 

Sol.

All of it challenges my practical view of a world without miracles, but it also fills me with feelings I have been unaccustomed to since adulthood. Such as a belief in the unknown, trust that magic could truly be real. 

Hope.

Artificial thunder sounds. Moments later the misters kick on as cool droplets of water sprinkle down across me. The cool feeling of the rainfall helps to regulate the heat of the pool water, sending a tingling sensation through my entire body and trailing goosebumps along my skin that isn’t submerged.

The scent of sage and pine grows stronger filling my imagination with a replay every time Sol has touched me. Every time I’ve looked into the depth of his impossibly blue eyes. 

My heartrate increases as my body responds to the thoughts with an irrational need.

That small part of me that is always called by the thought of Sol stirs awake with arousal. I've felt that part of me growing within, expanding the more I give it my attention and trust. As if it is a sentient and living energy of its own.

I hear a shower turn on in the locker rooms, and I wonder briefly at the sound. It’s late, and no one else has come in here since I’ve come down to relax.

Even though I’ve done nothing to be embarrassed of I feel heat rise to my cheeks in a flush at my interrupted train of thoughts of Sol.

Sol is just a friend.

But if my experience with Ashleigh and his brothers has taught me anything, it's how complicated that concept can be to someone who has lived through many lifetimes. 

The burning sensation in my cheeks increases exponentially, rushing even to my ears as an unmistakable figure steps out from the men’s locker room.

Sol.

His eyes don’t seem surprised as they find mine.

Babump.

My heart resonates, reverberating throughout my body. My eyes involuntarily explore his mostly naked body without even registering much about his swimming trunks at all.

Babump. 

Mine, some part of me whispers. 

It startles me. In that moment I experience what feels like a momentary out of body experience, I feel the sensation of that invisible part of me rushing outward towards Sol from across the water.

He slowly steps into the hot tub and glides through the water to me, eyes on mine.

Babump.

My breath catches in my chest, heat pooling in my core with a building sense of pressure.

When he reaches me, his lips are drawn into the long line of a slow smile. His low voice like a gentle caress against my hypersensitive senses. “Did you rest well?”

Babump. Babump.

I manage a slow nod, struggling just to manage the affect he has on my body, as well as my vague feeling of dissociation. I’m unable to think or sort out how he’s in the spa with me right now. Is it a coincidence?

As if he can see my confusion he answers, “I should have told you, I live here. I must admit I was surprised to find you were staying in my family’s tower. And I didn't expect to find you here.” He gestures to the spa.

I finally manage a hitched breath, but he’s now within a few feet of me. The rippling light of the water reflects across his features. My pulse quickens, the burning feeling in the tip of my ears increasing with it.

“Are you feeling any better?” His gentle gaze stays fixed on my face, tracing over my expression with worry.

I nod again, not trusting my voice to keep steady with the dance my heart is doing at his proximity and focus on me.

I pull forward the memories of the woman he was with at the masquerade as if to use them like a shield against the sensations flooding my body. He isn't someone I would want romantically. He is just a friend.

However, the part of me that is drawn to and trusts Sol makes a traitor of my own mind. What if he was telling me the truth about her? What if the wolves have something to do with why he vanished for a week?

Feeling my emotional armor weakening, I curse that part of me that wants me to run to him without even knowing him. By that reasoning I don't know him well enough to make the assumptions of him I have, either.

What I do know, is just like the golden wolf of my dreams, Sol was there for me when I had no one else and needed him.

Something deep within me whispers the question I’ve wanted to know from the very beginning. Does he feel the same pull to me that I do to him?

Sol is watching me carefully, as if I am someone who might bolt if he says the wrong thing or makes the wrong move.

Aren’t I though?

I am suddenly reminded of how I handled seeing him with the woman at the masquerade and my heart squeezes painfully in my chest. The memory of averting my eyes and the blur of running down the stairs away from seeing him kiss her twists at my insides.

A feeling I don’t recognize stabs into me, and it dawns on me in this moment, facing him now, that I didn’t just feel betrayed. 

 I felt envious.

All I want is to be good enough for Sol. I want his eyes to be on me instead. His lips to be on mine. I wanted to be that woman at the masquerade.

I feel a pang of guilt. Is this what Ashleigh had sensed, and why he didn’t want more beyond that one night? Had he seen this in me even when I couldn’t?

Ashleigh seemed to understand me even better than I did at times because of his history with Delphi. Was it yet another way I had unknowingly hurt him?

I close my eyes, pulling every part of me back to center mentally. That part of me that belongs to Sol resists a little, but finally acquiesces to my will. Only when my thoughts and senses have calmed do I reopen my eyes.

Sol is still watching me, as if he can see my warring thoughts, and he is unsure of what to say. “Your house should be safe now, but it may be better if you stay here-“He hesitates and for a moment.

Something glints darkly in his eyes before he finally finishes, “-with your friends.”

He doesn't have this reaction to Tiffa. Does he not like the brothers? I look him over inquisitively.

He takes in a slow breath, “This way I’ll be nearby, and you’ll be within the wards here. At least until we solve this together.”

“Thank you. You didn’t have to help me at all. But you still listened to me and did help. I needed sleep badly. I was exhausted and desperate.” I mumble the last, embarrassed to admit my pwn feelings of weakness.

Sol bows his head to me, exposing the back of his neck as he does. 

The part of me that longs to touch him practically sings through me. Submission. Just like at the masquerade it feels deeply significant.

“I should have been there sooner.” Sol’s low baritone mingles with the sound of dripping water. When he raises his head, his hair is wet, glistening drops of water gathering and falling from the tips.

In moments where I am looking into his eyes, I am so certain he is the golden wolf. If he is the wolf, he has been there every time I’ve needed him.

For the first time, his apology reaches the part of me that has, until now, felt spurned.

“You were, though. Weren’t you?” I ask tentatively. I’m afraid his answer will be no. I want what I’m feeling to be real, “You are the golden wolf?”

His eyes search mine, filled with so many unspoken words.   

As if with a mind of its own, my hand reaches out to brush the hair from his eyes. When my fingertips reach his forehead a jolt of electricity blooms with the contact. The tingling races through my hand, down my arm, and spreads through my body.

That small invisible part of me can no longer be reigned in, and I feel it rush forward to press into Sol. Then, indescribably, I feel something lean back. His eyes widen just a little, his body becoming unnaturally still.

The sound of thunder fills the air, mist rises around us, and a cool sprinkle of rain sparkles through the air between us.

Badump!

My heart feels ready to burst from my chest.

Mine, that incorporeal part of me echoes as it tangles with whatever part of him I’m feeling. I am filled with a thought that distinctly does not feel like my own. It is a soft purr through my mind, Mate.

I feel myself drawn to him like he is the inescapable gravity of a solar body.  

An explosion of electricity dances across my wrist, drawing my eyes down to where his hand closes around it. For a brief moment I think it might be to move my hand away from his face, but instead he takes my hand in both of his and rests his forehead against my hands.

I can barely think through the constant tingling resulting from the contact.

“If I said I was…?” He asks quietly without looking at me.

I don't know how to answer him. My thoughts are racing, Then you've been in my dreams. You saved me from myself, from the void, and more than I realized. You were there for me when I was most alone.

"Then I owe you thanks for more than just today."

His eyes lift to mine, my hand held at his lips now. His gaze searches mine, as if seeing every thought I haven't spoken aloud. Then, he chastely kisses my hand, sending a shockwave of sparks coursing through me. I feel my body pulled forward a step, and as the distance closes his eyes almost become feverish.

I can feel the heat of his body as if it is tangible against every part of my own skin. And rather than being uncomfortable, His scent mingles with the mist surrounding us, compelling me to press myself against him. I want to kiss his lips, to know what that charge between us to do with his tongue in my mouth. It feels as if even our souls are entangled just through proximity and the contact of his lips against my hand.

Before I even realize it, I've moved into him and my lips have found his. I feel his surprise bodily against me, followed by a low growl. 

Suddenly his hands have released mine and are pulling me closer. His teeth brush my lips and electricity courses and dances along every part of my skin. My senses are overwhelmed by his intoxicating scent, the feel of every touch which sends sparks through every part of me, and the heat which builds with pressure between my legs. 

I whimper into his lips and in response he presses into me. I feel my back firmly pushed against the edge of the hot tub, and the hard length of him pressing against my thighs. I don't even remember hearing the sound of thunder, but another shower of cool rain sprinkles across us as we make out.

With my eyes closed, every part of who he is feels like the wolf from my dreams. That intangible and sentient part of me which calls to him swirls around the feeling of Sol as a wolf.  

With a frustrated growl he breaks the kiss, burying his face in my neck. I can feel his hot breath against the sensitive skin of my neck, matching my own heavy breathing. I feel his teeth graze my neck gently, carefully. Then every muscle in his arms and shoulders tenses and he pulls back a little. 

His breath caresses my ear as he whispers a breathless answer, “I am.”

Before I can ask or even reorient myself, I hear Tiffa’s voice calling.

“Aisling?! Are you in here?”