“Hey man.”
“Al. What's up? It's been a while since I saw you in person. What's going on?” I looked him up and down in surprise.
Albert's my cousin and also one of my closest friends, and for a while he just seemed to have disappeared from existence. No one could see him, his phone wasn't reaching either. I knew he was fine, because bro is always fine, but some people were scared that he was dead or kidn*pped. There were even rumors circulating the internet about it, just for bro to pop up on my doorstep like it was only yesterday.
“Nothing much.” He gave a satisfied smile, ushered himself in and plopped his ass down on my couch and made himself at home. I would have protested, but curiosity got the better of me. Where had he disappeared, leaving no digital footprint or hint of his whereabouts?
"Come on, man, don't play coy with me," I said, frustration simmering. I searched everywhere for you, and you just vanished. You know I can track anyone down, but you? You were a ghost.
Albert's nonchalant shrug only fueled my frustration, giving way to anger. You owe me an explanation. Where were you?
Well, I guess you're not the best anymore. I might be better than you now. He leaned back and crossed his legs with a smug look on his face, crossing his legs with an air of superiority. It was obvious that he was trying to get under my skin, but I sure as hell wouldn't let him get that satisfaction.
Instead, I leaned forward and said in a low tone, “You can only dream”.
We both paused, staring at each other for a little while, before we both burst into laughter.
“I’m serious now, Albert, what's going on?” I became serious this time, and I saw his expression change to……something I hadn't seen before. I've seen him happy, but this was something different. He seemed to have a deep, warm glow of joy, making me more curious to know whatever the hell was going on.
Firstly, you can't tell anyone you saw me, because I'm still under the radar. I just risked my ass to come see you. He stared at me.
“Wow. I'm honored. Now speak and stop wasting my time.
“Oh wow. So that's how you're going to talk to your favorite cousin that has been missing for three weeks. What a cold reception. So this is my warm welcome? He put his hand over his heart, gasping dramatically.
“Well, I was about to go make coffee before you came in, so yeah I'm going to speak to you how I want.” I said, ridding my face of all expressions.
“So you're trying to say your coffee is more important than…”
“f*****g speak.” I yelled, interrupting his incessant whining.
“Okay, okay. Fine. He showed his palms in mock surrender. “You don't have to yell like that.” He looked at me from the corner of his eyes with exaggerated disdain like I was some disgusting creature.
“I'll yell what I want, now talk because the next time I ask you to speak, I'll be kicking you out my door.” I growled threateningly at him, although I knew he wasn't taking it any seriously.
Whatever caveman. I left because…….. He drew out with exaggerated slowness, expecting to get an anxious reaction out of me. I wonder how he's still not used to me being emotionless. I might care, but I'll never f*****g show it.
I kept a straight face and watched him draw out the ‘because’ like a fool. Finally, he decided to complete his sentence. “My wife is pregnant.”
My Stoic facade cracked as my eyes widened slightly at that news, and a smile exploded on my lips. Albert and Michelle got married about a year ago and now there's a baby on the way? This is exciting news.
“Well, guess who's going to be an uncle?” I said, leaning back on my seat and crossing my legs in an authoritative pose. How far along is Michelle? And wait, how is that a reason for you two to disappear?
A thread of concern began to weave its way through my chest. My family was everything, and I wouldn't hesitate to protect them.
"Spill it, Albert," I warned, my tone firm. If there's something wrong with Michelle or the baby, you'd better tell me now. I won't tolerate any secrets when it comes to their well-being.
“It's three months now. And the reason we ‘disappeared’, according to you, was because she was beginning to show, and she wanted to surprise everyone. Both our family and the world, that's why I said you shouldn't tell anyone that you saw me. I've sent a text and also been on face time with my mom, and we told her we wanted to escape the paparazzi and all the attention and just have fun, and she bought it, so I guess no one else needs to know.
“Wait. So why did you tell me though? You just ruined the surprise. I asked, annoyance slightly creeping into my voice.
He gave a very satisfied and fulfilled smile and leaned back in his chair. That's when I knew. “Well, that's what I was going for,” he said, his eyes gleaming with mischief, “I wanted to ruin the surprise for you.”
I launched myself at him and began punching his back and shoulders.
“Hey, chill man.” He said, throwing up his arms to cover his face. “You don't want to ruin this beauty for my kid.” He motioned at his face, making me actually want to punch it now. And besides, Michelle didn't know I had left the house, so I don't want to have any bruises. Please. I don't want to start having to explain. He added a hint of desperation to his tone.
I stopped, grinning mischievously. "The kid will love me more than his dumb dad, anyway."
Albert's eyes narrowed, playing along. "Oh, is that so?"
I nodded, chuckling. Absolutely. I'll be the cool uncle, spoiling them rotten.
Albert shook his head, laughing. "You think you've got this uncle thing down already, huh?"
“Obviously,” I shrugged.
“You wish. And she might be a girl too, you never know.
“Whatever. He or she will love me more than you. How much longer are you two hiding out?
Albert glanced around cautiously before responding. Michelle wanted to announce it in 5 months. So, about two more months.
I nodded, calculating the timeline. "And then the whole world will know."
Albert grinned. "And our lives will never be the same." We both laughed. And I risked my ass yesterday coming to see you, and you were nowhere to be found. Where the hell did you go? You weren't even at work.
“It's a very funny story, man. Well, dad told me that he wanted us to meet and that it was important.
“Mhmm.” He hummed, signifying that he was listening.
“So I went to honor his invitation,” I continued, “and there in his house, I saw him with Mr Blackwood.”
Blackwood? As in the blackwood? Of Blackwood liquors? He asked, eyes wide. Blackwood was the biggest liquor producing company after mine, so Mr Blackwood was not just some old man you came across on the street.
“Yeah. And you won't believe what Blackwood offered. He said his company was dying, and he wanted us to have a partnership to keep his company afloat. And then I told him that I don't just do partnerships, the panel will have to sit on it and if they find him worthy of being a partner, then we will be. Then he said the most unbelievable thing.I said before bursting into laughter, which happened very rarely.
“What??” He asked, his eyes bulging with surprise, obviously invested in the conversation.
“He said he didn't want to go through such long processes, rather he'd like me to get married to his daughter.” I said. Albert's eyes widened in shock as we both burst into laughter.
“Like you'd ever agree to be with a woman.” He roared with laughter, throwing his head back.
“I did agree.” I said, my words dropping like a bombshell.
What? Why? He looked at me, confusion plastered all over his face.
“There's a company they're connected to that I'm trying to sign a merger with, and with this partnership, I'm going to essentially seal the deal.”
You take this as a partnership? It's a marriage for f**k sake. And I promise you, marriages aren't easy. He tried advising me.
It's not a marriage, it's a business deal. We're just doing a wedding to put on a front for others. I'm pretty sure marriages are built on love and not boardroom strategies. I crossed my arms over my chest.
Whatever man. It's your business. I have to go now before my baby girl starts looking for me. He stood up and began heading out.
Well, say hi to her for me. Quick word of advice? Let her know you are coming to visit. She'll find out anyway.”
"Thanks, man," he called out and slipped into his car.
He started the engine, gave a
Brief wave, and pulled away from the curb.
I watched his taillights fade into the distance, lost in thought.