Not Good Not Bad Just Us
926 Words
Elena woke up to sunlight and the smell of coffee.
For half a second, her brain blanked. Then it all came back — the notebook, Caleb’s arms around her, the kiss that shut everything else off for a few minutes.
Caleb was asleep next to her, curled on top of the blankets because he’d refused to take her bed. One arm was slung over her waist, like he hadn’t let go even unconscious.
She lay there for a minute, staring at the ceiling. It didn’t feel wrong. It didn’t feel right either. It felt like a decision she’d made at 2 AM and now had to deal with in daylight.
Caleb stirred, mumbled something incoherent, and tightened his grip.
“Morning,” he said without opening his eyes.
“Morning,” Elena replied.
He opened one eye, saw her looking at him, and smiled. Sleep-soft and real.
“So. That happened.”
“That happened,” she agreed.
He propped himself up on his elbow. “Regret it?”
Elena thought about it. Thought about Adrian’s handwriting, about the way her chest had hurt for nine months. Then she looked at Caleb, who’d stayed.
“No,” she said. “Not yet.”
Caleb grinned and kissed her forehead.
“Good. Because I’m not good at waiting twice.”
The door burst open before Elena could reply.
“Maya said you guys were being weird and I didn’t believe her,” Priya said, standing in the doorway with two coffees and a face full of suspicion. “But your door’s unlocked at 8 AM and Caleb’s in your bed, so.”
Elena sat up fast, pulling the blanket up.
“Priya!”
“What?” Priya said innocently, setting the coffees down. “I’m observant. It’s a skill.”
Caleb sat up too, running a hand through his hair and looking completely unbothered.
“Morning, Priya.”
“Morning, traitor,” Priya said, pointing at him. “You said you were backing off.”
“I changed my mind,” Caleb said simply.
Priya turned to Elena. “And you’re okay with this? Because if he’s pressuring you, I will throw this coffee.”
Elena hesitated, then shook her head.
“No. I… I asked him to stay.”
Priya’s face softened. She sat on the edge of the bed.
“Okay. Then I’m happy for you. Both of you. But if he hurts you, I’m still throwing coffee.”
“Noted,” Caleb said.
Priya stood up, grabbing one coffee and tossing the other to Elena.
“Maya’s waiting downstairs. She said she’d give you ten minutes before she came up here and embarrassed you both.”
As soon as Priya left, Caleb leaned over and kissed Elena again, quick and quiet.
“See you in class?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “See you.”
He left, and the room felt emptier without him immediately.
---
Downstairs, Maya was waiting in the common room with her arms crossed and an expression that said I know everything.
Elena walked in, coffee in hand, and Maya’s eyes narrowed.
“Okay. Talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Elena said, sitting down.
“You kissed,” Maya said flatly.
“How do you—”
“Priya texted me. And your face.” Maya sighed and sat next to her. “So. How do you feel?”
Elena thought about it.
“Not guilty. Not happy. Just… quiet. For the first time in months, my head’s quiet.”
Maya nodded slowly. “Good. As long as it’s what you want.”
“It is,” Elena said. “For now.”
Maya bumped her shoulder. “Then I’m glad. But if he starts acting like he owns you, I’m still on team Elena. Even if he is rich.”
Elena blinked. “What?”
“Please. Caleb ‘forgets’ to mention his family owns half the port in Lagos,” Maya said, rolling her eyes. “Jamal looked it up after he saw the name on his laptop charger. Devereaux Holdings. He’s low-key loaded.”
Elena stared at her.
“He never said anything.”
“Exactly,” Maya said. “He’s not using it. That’s why I like him for you. He could be the guy who buys you stuff to fix things. He’s not.”
Elena didn’t know what to say to that. She’d never cared about money. But the fact that Caleb hadn’t used it to try and win her over meant something.
Jamal and Priya walked in then, and the conversation shifted to the fact that Prof. Okoro had moved the quiz to Friday and everyone was mad about it. Normal. Safe.
Elena sat with them, laughing at Jamal’s complaints, and for the first time in months, she wasn’t checking the door.
---
Later that afternoon, Elena went back to her room alone.
The notebook was still on her desk. She opened it.
Page after page of proofs, clean and precise, with notes in the margins that sounded exactly like him. You overcomplicated this. Start here. Check the definition.
On the last page, a new note. Different handwriting. Messier. Written recently.
_You don’t have to choose between moving forward and remembering.
But if you choose him, choose him fully.
– A.C._
Elena closed the notebook and set it in her drawer.
She didn’t know what Adrian meant by that. She didn’t know if she’d ever see him again.
But for tonight, she had Caleb. And that was enough.
- Writer
