The Wrong Way Back To You

Ch 14

"Don't you dare! You can talk all you want about me, but don't you dare say a bad word about Steve. He stepped up. He was a father to Dominic while you were no where to be found. Don't you dare talk bad about him! And you are lucky that I missed."

"Sorry that I panicked when you told me. I was a kid."

"What do you think that I did? Steve was the one who wanted me to tell you. He was caught off guard when I told you that he was the father. It was not something that we had planned. We didn't conspire anything or do this intentionally. It just came out of my mouth. An initial reaction when I heard you going on and on about how a kid was going to ruin your life. Not once did you stop and think about 'us'. You were only thinking about yourself. And at that moment, I had to think about me and the baby."

"So, you thought it was perfectly okay to lie to me all of this time?"

"I made a decision and I stand behind that decision. I gave you what you wanted. You wanted your freedom. I gave you the freedom."

"That's not fair. We were kids."

"What's not fair is that you were leaving me to raise our child alone with absolutely no support at all. And I am not talking about money. I am talking about emotional support. Do you think that it was easy for me?"

"It sure seemed easy for you to say I wasn't the dad."

"Oh, mo God! How can you be so damn thick-headed?"

"What did you expect from me, Allie?"

"To be supportive, not to freak out about how your life was ruined. That was all that you cared about."

"You didn't give me a chance to be supportive."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Everything just seemed so easy for you? Do you know what thinking that Dominic was Steve's did to me? Do you know what that did to my life?"

"Do you know what it did to my life? I had to grow up really damn quick. There was no more going out and partying or drinking the night away. I had a child to take care of. When I told you all you did was rant about how I ruined your life and it was all you you you. Until it was time to place the blame then it was my fault. Excuse me, I wasn't forcing you to f**k me. I didn't poke holes in condoms or refuse to let you where one. We both made the decision to take the risk. Only I had to deal with the consequences though. You got to enjoy things. I got to change diapers. Steve was great enough to go along with things. He wanted me. He would have given anything for Dom to be his biologically. But he stepped up and gave us so much. He loved me more than I ever deserved from him. I did not deserve half of the love he had for me, but yeah, tell me what it did to your life. That is all you seem to care about."

Realization started to sink in a little with Jake and his tone changed slightly. "I wish he was here so I could thank him."

"So do I. But it is done and over. Cannot change the past. Don't need coulda shoulda wooulda. Won't change anything at all. You got to have your fun and I got to raise a child."

"That's not fair."

"Bullshit, don't talk to me about fairness. Don't you dare. Do you think it was fair for me and Steve to raise our child while you were out living it up doing whatever it was you wanted to do? Was it fair for me to have to tell a little boy that his daddy wasn't coming home anymore? Was it fair for me to have to bury my husband and be a widow at 25? No, it was not fair. Don't you talk to me about fair. Yes, what I did wasn't right, but you really gave me no choice."

"Do you know what happened when you told me?"

"I am not getting into that whole mess right now. It's done and over with. It is in the past. There is no point in living in the past. It will not change a damn thing."

"When did you become so cold-hearted? You were never like this before."

"I am not cold-hearted. I am realistic. That dumb teenage girl is long gone. I had to grow up. I had to be responsible. I had a child that depended on me. I could not turn my back on that. He needed me and I was going to be sure that I was there for everything that he needed."

"I am sorry that you had to go through all of that."

"You talk about me throwing away things so easily, but you did the same damn thing. You walked away and did not look back. I know what I did was wrong but I do not regret my decision. Can you imagine our life if we would have stayed together? You resenting Dominic and me every day for ruining your life? We would have grown to hate each other and my son would have been the one to suffer in the end. I do not regret what I did. Do you even regret saying what you did? Honestly? And don't give me the answer that you think that I want to hear. I want to know the truth. Deep down, do you regret your reaction when you found out I was pregnant? Do you regret anything about that conversation?"

"Yes. I regret saying that. I never wanted us to end. I imagined our life together. I never wanted to let you go. I never imagined that something like that would be the thing to tear us apart."

"Something like that? My son is something like that?"

Jake knew he used the wrong choice of words in the situation and immediately wanted to take them back. "Wait! That is not what I meant."

"Forget it. I am out of here! This was the biggest mistake of my life. I never ever should have come here. I never should have told you the truth. We were fine before. I am leaving! I am getting my son from them wherever they are, and we are leaving. Enjoy your life!"