Dating the Gangster Nerd

Chapter Five

I still can't forget the way the nerd averted his gaze, and avoided my touch. He was staring to the ceiling, like he was staring at it seriously.

It was the first time that someone hate me for helping. That nerd, instead of thanking us, he even had the guts to reprimand us.

I stare to Vanessa, sipping drink to calm her down.

She's not crying, anymore. My minds wondered again.

"I'm gonna miss you so bad." I whispered, trying to begin of my thoughts.

"Huh? Where am I going?" She asked me, confused.

"You're beautiful, and I'm sure that you can find a boyfriend, and I'm gonna miss everything, your care, and all." I said genuinely. I'm also be the happiest bestfriend if see can find not a better man but the best man, but first I need to check it. No one deserve her, and that man mas surpass everything.

"I'm not going to have one."She said.

"Why?! I want you to be happy, and to fell love too!" I said, and was even shock that she's not interested.

She chuckled.

"Can't I be happy? I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. I have my family, my brother, and my bestfriend. I want you to be happy first before I will find mine." She said.

My eyebrow frown while staring at her.

"I am happy, and don't worry about me." I assured her.

She chuckled again. "Tsk, let's stop talking about love. My brother won't eventually allowed me to have crushes till I turn eighteen."

"No one deserves you. You're a blessing." I softly uttered. She's beautiful, kind, and very loving, and I think no man can ever deserve her.

Her eyes went to my arm. I tried to hide it but it's useless bea we already seen it.

That nerd, he's mysterious. I've seen him all the time in the library. He didn't even talk, and I wonder what it does it feel to hear him around.

There's something about me that makes me want to be around him, or perhaps it's because I am aware of how constantly in danger his life is, and I craved danger for myself.

Maybe, I'm crazy or I just loved too much, and too deeply.

After an hour, we went back to the campus. We skipped the first subject, and now we're here in the classroom, trying to remember that we have to pass this year or we were the one to pass.

Mr. Ray was discussing in front of the class. My attention fixed to my skirt when my phone vibrated. I disturbed the book that was peacefully lying in the table, and I let it stand, like a soldier infront of me.

I quickly went to the message. It was Arthur, my friend from racing. He's older a year to me.

"Mitch texted me why he can't contact you. And he asked, if you're still partying without his permission."

I rolled my eyes, and sighed.

He knows that I won't party without Vanessa. Vanessa and I will just appear to the party proof that we showed up, and after that we will vanish together, and end up Watchung movies together.

I'm even surprised that he texted Arthur, knowing Mitch, he hates Arthur because he's jealous.

This isn’t love anymore. It is ownership, possessiveness, selfishness, and obsession. Even if we are still young, we nonetheless stress ourselves out like way.

I thought Mitch is cool. He seems really cool, who likes to go around and not taking anything seriously. When my mother found out about Mitch and I, she was furious. I gave in to Mitch's love, and never knew that he would become serious about us. I would be stress like this.

I’m not finding deep love. I want someone to support me, and see me as I am. I want someone to accept me for who I am and to stand by me. I want a love that even I wasn’t looking, he still paying attention. I want a love that never hurt. I love a love that see me and appreciate…I want that love. And, I crave it exclusively for my family, but it seems they are unable to give it, therefore I'm looking for it elsewhere.

Human is indeed the most complicated thing.

And... we couldn't hold it. I was so sleepy, and we only have an hour and forty minutes before dismissal. I moved my eyes beside me, and saw Vanessa sleeping so soundly.

It made me wants to sleep though, and I did.

We just woke up when our seat mates wake us up.

"The teacher left. He said that it's better sleeping than you, doing cutting classes." Fe said. She chuckled, and tapped Vanessa's back. "Just make sure to get a better score in the exam."

"Fe..." I whispered.

"It's no me who said it. It was Sir. He ordered me to pass the message to you guys."

Fe left. Vanessa and I stared each other, and shrugged our shoulder.

It's not like we failed the subejct. Our score are better than a failed grade right?

"Let's just leave, and sleep in our house." Vanessa said, as she took her back with her.

I went out the room, and the guards are already there. I stared at them lazily, and bored. They remained quite, and I followed them like a good girl.

I've been a bad girl to them. I felt bad. Next time, I'm going ot be careful then.

I’m not going to run away. I have plan in my misn. I’ll do that when I’ll have the racing schedule. I’ll be good girl and behave for the meantime.

Even though I have everything, I still don't feel happy. My parents are busy in work but they never neglect their duties to care and assist my sister.

They took care of her because she’s the future of the company, and the youngest was let alone…wandering what to do. The youngest felt the pressure to excel and do well but still disappointed that she was unable to meet their expectations, and failed their expectation.

This girl speak with bitterness and jealousy. I hate it but I can’t help myself but to feel it longer like this…and used to live like this.

That’s why I feel like when I’m with that nerd, I’m going to hurt myself more. First, he didn’t know me, second, he didn’t like me, and third he hates me. See? He’s very different from others. The students in the Dumas college know me, and like me, and he never landed his eyes on me.

The house filled with soft and warmth laughter inside. I stopped walking and thinking if I should go and disturb them or pretend that I wasn’t here?

I continued walking with heavy footsteps, and their laughter slowed down. I saw them in the living room. Mommy and Daddy were sitting close, and Savanah was sitting in the middle of them.

“I’m home…” I said softly at them.

Daddy smiled at me.

Daddy likes Savanah more because Savanah looks like him, a girl version of Salvo, and Mom likes Savanah because she looks like Dad, and I like myself. I never hate my sister, and I love her so much but sometimes the bitterness rose above me.

Savanah moved away. She smiled sweetly, and stood up while walking closer to me.

“How’s school?” She asked, trying in a gentle way. Shr gently moved, and hug me. I smiled at her.

“It was fun,” I replied shortly. She moved away from the hug. Savanah turn around and faced Dad and Mom with a smile.

“Dad, and Mom, I’ll go upstairs now. I’m doing my report.” She said sweetly.. They nodded, and Savanah caress my hand before leaving.

“Don’t forget to drink your milk!” Daddy yelled before looking at me. Mommy stood up first, and she hug me.

“You look stress. Are you tired?” she asked softly. Daddy was looking on us, smiling. I pulled away the hug. I nodded at them, awkwardly.

I’m so very tired, and drained.

Dad stood up, and pulled me a hug as well. “Just do fun in school, okay?” Daddy said, and kissed my forehead. "But, ofcourse don't give us low grades. Your sister grade was higher than the last year."

"Stop taking about the grade, Salvo. Your daughter is tired." Mom interrupted Dad. She looked at me. “The food is ready in the table.” Mommy said.

She caress my hair gently. She slowly place besides her, and she started walking through the dining hall. “I know you are tired", She says. "So, I’m going upstairs and leave you here so that you can rest after, okay?”

She dragged the chair, and let me seat. She gently flipped the plate, and served my empty plates with food.

"You should eat a lot to be healthy, okay?" Mom said.

"Yes, you look like Mommy, and for sure you'll grow beautifully like her or more than her." Dad said that made Mom chuckled.

I felt a kiss above my head.

It was a peaceful evening. Their laughter warmth the pain that was damaged me for a long time.

"We were so busy right?" Mom asked. They were still standing, watching me.

I nodded, and give them a quick glance. They were staring at me, intently.

"We promise that we will spend all the day in your birthday. No work at all. We will clear that schedule for you." Mom promised.

"It's fine, Mom and Dad." I said, calmly.

"Just continue your meal. We will let you, so that you can have your rest, alright?" Mom said.

I just nodded like a robot.

Daddy did the same thing. He went closer, and kissed my head. “Goodnight. My lovely daughter. I’ll have to call our manager. Enjoy the food.”

I heard them yawned. I continue eating my food.

Just a minute passed. I heard a footstep back. I turn my head, and see my big sister. She went to the kitchen, and grabbed something. I heard the utensils sound, and maybe she's going or drink water or drink milk.

"What happened you?" She asked, and I looked at her, confused.

"What do you mean what happened to me?" I asked her. She pointed my arms.

"Your arms....what happened to that. I notice it awhile ago. Don't deny it. I saw that already."

"Ah... this?" I said as I raise my arms.

"I fell when we weren't playing basketball. We have it in our pe." I lied.

She went silent, and stare at me. I looked at her, no backing out at all. I'm good at this. She sighed, and give up.

"Be careful next time. You're skin is sensitive. You get easily bruised or get red just a simple light pinch."

I nodded.

"By the way... my friend...Resam." Savanah mentioned. I lifted my head. "What about him?"

"He asked you out?" She asked, curiously.

I shook my head. "He just chatted me about a movie. He didn't ask me out. And, I would decline he's your friend."

"That's good. Resam is a nice guy but he had a girlfriend. I don't want you to get heartbroken." She said, which made me laugh.

"Why?" She asked.

"He's not my type." I admit, honestly.

"Hmm...really? So, what's your type then?" She asked that made me speechles..

"Uhmm... I want a quite guy..." I murmured.

"Hmm... I thought you like a cool guy. Joining your trip then what's the sudden change?"

I looked at her with curiosity, too. It was first time she's asking it.

"People change. I just like a quite but we didn't know, maybe later ut would change."

Feelings and emotions are not constant. Weather changed, our age, body and skin change, and so love. I don't know what's a thing that never change. Everything is changing the way it made us feel.