Stuck in Between

Two

I managed to walk myself back to my room as I started arranging all the English notes I needed to show the teacher. I don't know why I was doing that but I am sure I want to see him again. I arranged everything and went back outside to anticipate his return. I waited for a long period outside but he wasn't showing up. Where the hell has he gone to. It's already getting late and I am sure the security will lock the gates soon. I decided to go and ask the security about him. My heart was beating fast as I walked to the security place. Good afternoon Mallam, I said as the normal way we greeted him. Mr. Ahmad, you have returned already he asked, smiling at me. Yes, Mallam, I am back, I brought these dried fishes for you, I said handing the fish to him. Thank you very much, Ahmad, he said. Umm Mallam, the new teacher hasn't returned yet and you guys are closing the gates already, I said. Oh you mean Mr. Kabir, he said he would not return till tomorrow, that's why I am closing the gate, he replied. Oh! He said so, but I saw him go out in a short and armless shirt, he can't possibly stay long, I said. He went out again, maybe that time you are in the room, he replied. Okay, good night, I said and left the place.

So he probably came back while I was in the room arranging the notes. What bad luck, I said as I walked back to my room. I lay on my bed thinking about whatever is in my mind. What exactly am I thinking, I asked myself. I closed my eyes and memories from my childhood started flashing on my head. How we go to the river in groups and play dirty games. It was a group of boys so we played everything naughty. I remember how we used to compare our manhoods, playing with each other and sucking Carothers. I know to my friends, including Mike, that it was just a stage, but to me, I still have those memories and I still cherish them. I don't want to believe the doubt in my head about my sexuality so I quickly opened my eyes. This little secret of mine is eating me up a great deal and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know who to confront such in a society full of people obsessed with marriage and friends who only ship me with girls. I managed to close my eyes hard and all I could be thinking of was Kabir. Kabir, I said out, what a nice name. I don't know how I managed to get some sleep after a series of thoughts and imaginations. I heard a car parked at the school premises, it's Kabir coming out of the car, guess it's a friend dropping him. I quickly jumped to the bathroom and washed my face. I came out and walked hurriedly to where they were standing by the car. Good morning sir, I greeted. Morning, the friend replied. Kabir was giving me an unsure look. I am your student, staying over that room, I said, pointing at my room. Oh, you are... Kabir said, trying to recall my name. Ahmad sir, I quickly said. Okay Ahmad, can we talk later, as you can see, I just got back here, I am exhausted, he said. Okay, sir, And I am Jeffery, since no one is gonna introduce me, the other guy said giving me a weird look. I am Kabir's... Friend, he is my friend. Kabir quickly cuts him in as he was talking to me. Ahmad, you can go now, I will call you when I am ready, Kabir said and walked to his room. Jeffery quickly followed him.

Why did you cut me while talking to Kabir, he shouted. Well, I had to because I don't know the silly thoughts you are having in your brain. And for your information, that boy is my student, so stop all the dirty thoughts in your brain right away, Kabir shouted as he dashed into the bathroom. So is it a bad thing if I talk to your student, Jeffery yelled. Wow, Jeffery, you have forgotten that I know you, yes, of course, I have seen those silly looks you were giving the boy, Kabir replied. Grow up Kabir, he yelled and headed out of the room. I was sitting on my little fence when I saw him walk out of the room angrily. I wonder what was going on between them. I waited the whole day for Kabir to call for me but he didn't, rather he stayed up in his room. I was worried to the extent that I became eager for the next day. I got ready quickly and arrived at school very early as usual. Good morning sir, I greeted the principal. Morning Ahmad, he replied. Have you met the new teacher? He asked. Yes Sir, I did, I replied. Okay, go ring the bell for assembly, he said. The assembly was conducted by the principal and after that, he introduced Mr. Kabir as the new English teacher that will be coaching our class for our forthcoming SSCE examinations. This guy looks damn good in his NYSC uniform. I don't know why I was admiring him. All the ladies were tripping for him. They rushed to my table to borrow my notes so they could show them to him instead of me. I gave it to them to avoid suspicion but deep inside me, I also want to have a reason to get close to him. I don't know what I had to do but I am sure I want to get close to Kabir. Good morning sir, I heard my mates greeting him as he entered the class. Morning students, who are the person that is supposed to give me his book, he asked. Julia hurriedly stood up with my notes. I am the one Sir, she said. I was told it's a boy, he replied. It's Ahmad! the whole class chorused. I collected the note from her as I stood up. Follow me, he said as he walked out of the class. I hurriedly followed him to the staffroom. So, how far have you gone, he asked as he sat on his seat. Well, we have covered almost all the syllabus, just a few remaining, and our former teacher was supposed to start coaching us for the exams before he left, I said. Okay then, we will see what to be done, you can get back to class, he said. I turned to walk away but he called. Ahmad, sorry for what you saw yesterday, he said. It's okay Sir, I replied and left. So my doubts are correct, they were arguing yesterday, I said to myself as I walked back to class.

Mr. Kabir continued teaching us and all the girls in my class were falling for how handsome and amazing he is. They stop seeing me as their handsome demi-god anymore. I was getting pretty close to Kabir, he would call me to his apartment to help him with marking the Juniors books and we would also play football together in the field after school hours and on weekends. Why do you live in the school Ahmad, he asked me one afternoon as we were sitting on the field after football. I told him about my family situation. Wow, your dad must be harsh. So when are you returning home again, he asked. Well I will be going this weekend, it's been 3 weeks already and I need to inform my mother about my exams, I replied. Wow, how time flies, it's 3 weeks already and I am getting attracted to this place already, he said looking at me. Let me go get ready, my friend Jeffery would be taking me out later, he said as he walked away.

What does he mean by attractive and that look? I asked myself as I watched him walk away. He spent the night outside again. This happens whenever that friend of his takes him out. We haven't met at school the following day, guess he was absent. I arranged my clothes and was ready to leave. I was worried about not seeing him so I decided to check on him. I knocked at his door for a while before he responded. What happened to Ahmad, he asked as he opened the door. He looks sleepy and exhausted. I am leaving already so I decided to say goodbye, I said. Okay then, take care of yourself, he said as he went back inside the room.

I went back home to the regular drama from my dad. He kept on ranting about why I spent 3weeks at school. Are you sure you won't stay up at school till, after your exams, your father might hold you back, mother said as I was helping her pick the grains? But I don't want to bother you, mom, things are hard here, at least I can help, I replied. No Ahmad, just go and study, I can manage here, she said. I have arranged enough stuff for you, go get ready and leave before your father returns, she said. I walked to my room weeping, I don't know how to thank God for giving me such a loving mother. Even though my weekend was boring as I missed Kabir, seeing my mother keeps me happy. I arranged all my bags in a wheelbarrow as a boy helped me push them to the main road.

Arriving at the school, I sighted Mr. Kabir playing in the field. He hurriedly came to where I was standing. He offered me a handshake, he tapped my shoulders, I missed your company, Ahmad, this place was damn boring, you tried staying here alone, he said laughing. I know right, I replied. Let me help you with the bags, he said, taking one of the bags from me. How is your family, he asked. As usual, I replied. Just hang in there, everything will soon be fine, he said as he dropped the bag by my door. I will allow you rest, he said and turned to leave. Oh yes, he turned and said again, Come to my apartment for dinner, I have been bored, he added and left.

I was already surprised by his actions and now inviting me for dinner, I was baffled and anxious.