Waves of fate

Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Confronting the Past

The next few days were a blur of emotions. Lila’s thoughts constantly cycled between guilt, regret, and confusion. She had been so sure of what she wanted when she first met Ethan—the stability, the love, the life they had created. But somewhere along the way, she had lost sight of it all. She had let herself be swept away by the allure of something new, something different. And now, as her world crumbled around her, she wondered if she had made a terrible mistake.

It was late one night when Lila found herself standing in front of Ethan’s apartment building. She had tried to call him several times over the past week, but each attempt had been met with silence. But tonight, she couldn’t avoid it any longer. She had to face the man she had hurt, the man who had given her everything, and tell him how deeply sorry she was.

Her hands shook as she pressed the buzzer. After a moment, the door clicked open, and Lila stepped inside. The silence of the building felt suffocating as she climbed the stairs, the sound of her footsteps echoing in the quiet.

When she reached Ethan’s door, she hesitated for a moment before knocking. She could hear movement from inside, and then the door swung open. Ethan stood in the doorway, his face pale, eyes tired.

Lila’s heart ached as she took in the exhaustion on his face. He had been carrying the weight of her indecision, and it had clearly taken a toll on him.

“Ethan…” Her voice was small, barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I… I don’t even know what to say anymore.”

Ethan didn’t immediately respond. He just stood there, looking at her with a mixture of pain and resignation. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke.

“I don’t know if you understand the damage you’ve caused, Lila,” he said quietly, his voice strained. “I trusted you. I trusted us. And you… you let it all go. You couldn’t choose me. You couldn’t choose us.”

Lila swallowed hard, tears threatening to spill. “I never wanted to hurt you, Ethan. I’ve spent these last few weeks hating myself for what I did. I was selfish. I didn’t know how to handle everything, and in the process, I ended up hurting both of us. I can’t take it back, but I am so sorry.”

Ethan’s gaze softened, but there was still a distance between them,

Ethan stood in the doorway, his arms crossed loosely over his chest, but his posture was tense, like he was trying to hold his emotions at bay. Lila could see the pain in his eyes, but there was something else there too—something colder, more guarded. The man she had known so well, the one who used to laugh easily and hold her close in moments of silence, felt distant now. It was as if her actions had created a rift so deep that even the time they’d spent apart couldn’t bridge it.

“I don’t know if you understand the damage you’ve caused, Lila,” Ethan said, his voice softer than before but still cutting through the space between them. “I don’t know if you understand just how much you hurt me by not choosing. By leaving me hanging, not knowing if you were going to walk away or come back.”

Lila’s throat tightened, and she fought back the tears that were threatening to spill. She had spent days thinking of this moment, rehearsing her words in her mind, but now, faced with him in person, all she could feel was the weight of her mistakes.

“I know,” she whispered, barely able to speak. “I know I’ve hurt you more than I can even begin to say. I never wanted this, Ethan. I never wanted to hurt you. I just…” She paused, the words getting caught in her throat. “I got lost. I got lost in everything that was happening, in what Lucas represented, in how easy it felt to walk away from what we had. But now I can’t stop thinking about how much I’ve lost. About how much you’ve given me, how much we built, and I can’t just… throw that away.”

Ethan’s jaw clenched, and for a long moment, neither of them spoke. The silence between them stretched thin, heavy with all the things they had left unsaid. Lila took a step forward, feeling the urge to reach out to him, to somehow close the gap that had grown between them. But something stopped her—something in the way he looked at her.

“I gave you everything, Lila,” Ethan finally said, his voice trembling with emotion now. “And I trusted you with it. I trusted you with my heart. You were my partner. My best friend. And you’ve broken that. You broke us.”

Lila’s chest tightened, the weight of his words hitting her harder than she expected. She had always known how deeply Ethan loved her, but hearing him say it, hearing the hurt in his voice—it felt like a dagger to the heart. She had taken all of that for granted. And now she wasn’t sure if there was a way back.

“I know I’ve broken your trust,” she said softly, her voice cracking. “And I don’t expect you to forgive me, or to just move past it. But I’m so sorry, Ethan. I don’t even know how to make this right. But I’m here. I’m here to listen, to understand if you’ll let me.”

Ethan looked at her for a long time, and Lila could see the battle waging in his eyes. The hurt was still there, raw and unhealed, but beneath it, there was something else—a flicker of the love that had once been so strong between them. It was barely there, just a faint glimmer, but Lila held on to it with all her heart. She wasn’t asking him to forgive her. She wasn’t asking him to forget. She just needed him to know that she was truly sorry, that she had never meant to lose him.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, Lila,” Ethan said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know if I can forget what you’ve done. But I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of us either.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with so many emotions that Lila didn’t know how to process them all. “Maybe I’m just not ready to say goodbye yet.”

Lila’s heart stuttered in her chest, and she took a shaky breath, trying to hold on to the fragile hope that still lingered in the air between them. “I don’t want to say goodbye, Ethan. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know if I deserve another chance, but I’m asking for one. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.”

Ethan’s expression softened, but it was clear that he was torn. “I don’t know if we can go back to what we had, Lila,” he said quietly. “The trust is broken. You’ve hurt me in ways I didn’t think I could be hurt. And I’m not sure if I can open myself up to that again.”

Lila’s heart shattered at his words, but she nodded, accepting that this was something she couldn’t fix overnight. She had destroyed the foundation they had built, and now, she had to face the consequences of her actions.

“I understand,” she said, her voice trembling with the weight of everything she had lost. “I know I’ve made things difficult. I know I can’t undo the past, but I’m not asking you to forget it. I’m just asking for the chance to try again. If you’re willing to give it.”

Ethan looked at her for a long time, as if weighing her words against the pain he had been carrying. Finally, he sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know, Lila. I really don’t. But I can’t just pretend that nothing happened, that everything is fine. I need time. I need space to figure out what I really want. To figure out if I can ever trust you again.”

Lila nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. She hadn’t expected an immediate solution, but hearing him admit that he needed time gave her a small sliver of hope. She could wait. She had to wait. Because she knew, deep down, that Ethan was the one person who had truly seen her for who she was, who had loved her unconditionally. And now, she had to prove that she was worthy