New Feelings

Lustful Feelings?

It was the day of my 18th birthday I lay awake in the early hours in my bedroom waiting for my family to burst through with an enthusiastic good morning. A lot of people in my position would be so excited, jumping out of bed, opening presents, becoming a “woman” and getting their wolf, however, I felt lost and confused. I turned to my side and closed my eyes, I thought hard about the mysterious figured I encountered, trying to piece together what this person could possibly look like, however, with all my strength I just couldn’t seem to put a face together. My thought came abruptly to an end when suddenly there were soft knocks at the door, with eye open I responded with a whisper like a tone; “What?”. There was a few moments of silence, I can hear the faint fail attempts of keeping back laughter then finally though gritted teeth “Are you awake, Lil?”, the voice came from my younger sister, who was only 8, she promised me she’d be the first to wish me a happy birthday, and at 6:45 am it seemed like she held up to this promise.

“Yes,” I whispered back through a smile as I sat up and wrapped a blanket around me “Come in Ava if you want” I followed up. The door cracked open gently as she slid through the crack with her small frame, tiptoeing over trying her best to hold her excitement at a time where most people are still sleeping- like my parents. She got into my bed and cuddled up to me, squeezing me as tight as she can- which isn’t much considering she’s no nimble. “Happy Birthday Lilla,” she said finally, breaking the silence that surrounded us momentarily. I faked a smile at this point, but she was too buried in my chest to know, I rubbed the top of her head and kissed it softly “I told you I would be the first to say it” she said to my lack of response. “I know,” I said, this time with a genuine smile “Thank you, Ava”.

Ava left my room shortly after which left me the privacy to get ready for college, I sat up at the edge of my bed and went through my chest of draws and picked out a black skirt and white crop top. Something simple- perhaps not the weather for it, being rainy and gloomy but it looked cute, nonetheless. I stood Infront of the mirror in my underwear and looked up and down my body, turning around to see every curve and to assess the changes my body has been through. I still remember being quite short, a little chubby, with no “womanly” features about me, but I stand here now with a pear shape figure, thick thighs, small stomach, and I would say average breasts- yet other male wolves would argue this. I got myself dressed and before I knew it, it was time for me to leave- I made sure to stay upstairs until the very moment I have to leave to make sure there was no fuss before I leave to school- that is the last thing that I need today. My thought was shortly drawn short as I hear the car of my friend outside- it was so loud I’m sure the whole neighbourhood can hear it. I peaked my head of the door and made my escape, thankfully I made it to my friends’ car without any interruption, in which I rewarded with a happy sigh.

“In a rush are you?” My friend looked, wide-eyed, probably never seen me move so quick before- probably impressed that I did it in a skirt too, I responded with a soft chuckle.

“Happy Birthday Lilla” She followed up, she rubbed my arm and gave me a sweet smile, a smile that was contiguous, something that will break me out of my worries so easily

 “Thank you, Steph”.

I made my way through the corridor in our school, the school was made up with numerous amounts of allied packs, we believe it’s best to separate with ordinary people due to hormones of younger wolves, but also it allowed for all packs to have a strong bond. As I made my way through the school my skin was suddenly turning hotter and hotter, I could feel the stares of other wolves, they know I’ve turned 18- they could probably sense it. I kept my head down as I was taken into a deep blush- I’m not used to so much attention... or am I? I don’t know. But I oddly like it, it feels almost powerful. I made my way to my locker and put my books in for my later classes when I was interrupted by the heat of another individual behind me. I felt his hands move around my waist to my stomach, he pulled me close; “Happy Birthday Lilla” He whispered. I blushed uncontrollably, the voice came from a good friend of my Nathan, a wolf I’ve known for only 2 years now. Nathan is very attractive; he stands at 6 ft tall with dark brown hair and the most piercing blue eyes I’ve ever seen on someone. Unfortunately, I do not know of his build, but from the outlining of his clothing, I could imagine it would be rather impressive. I shook my head, trying to remove the embarrassment, why am I thinking about Nathan in this way? I never thought about a boy in this way before, my legs shook a little as my butt was square on his crotch, which evidently made me more embarrassed and shyer, yet the heat started to turn me on. “Ah” I finally broke the silence, I quickly turned around to face him, he too was blushing, yet, he did his best to hide this.

“Happy Birthday,” he said again, scratching the back of his head, looking away from me with embarrassment.

“Thank you, Nathan,” I responded, breaking the silence that was evidently creating such awkward tension.

“Are you still coming out after lessons, Lilla? I can take you to the lakes if you want” He said, this time facing me. You would never imagine that a group of teenagers going to the lake at this time of the year- yet it’s the best time, its quiet, lonely, no one around, not even to hear yo-

“Lilla?” He said again, s**t I forgot what he asked me.

“Oh, Um yeah sure” I responded again, not knowing really what I agreed to.

“Cool, I’ll meet you in the car park, where I usually park, is that okay?”

I nodded with a faint smile of embarrassment, he nodded in response too and shuffled awkwardly, we both don’t know really what to say.

“Well, I’ll see you later” as he broke the silence, he waved me goodbye and went off down the hallway, leaving me feeling hopeless against my locker. I took a deep breath out.

What the f**k was that? My body still felt hot, I still feel weirdly uneasy. I shook my head; I’ll try not to think about it- as I went on with my day.

The end of college came really quick, I do have to say that the constantly daydreaming helped, which I never do, usually, I’m on track with my lessons, yet the thought of Nathan behind me has made me feel things I never felt before. I strolled through the hallways outside of college, thinking about what was going to happen when I and Nathan are truly alone, I started to question if I could really control myself, which I never questioned before.

I saw him stood outside the car, he looked directly at me and smiled and waved me over, I started to pick up the pace a little until we finally met, and I was awkwardly close to him. I felt his body heat again, the warmth from his breath, the smell of his body wash, I looked up and gave an innocent smile.

“Well, shall we get in?” he asked, almost awkwardly, yet I can sense he’s interested. I can sense he wants me, and oh god do I want him. God, what is wrong with me? I thought to myself I feel so dirty, I’ve never had these feelings before…I need to calm down…

During the car ride to the lakes, I stayed particularly quiet, I tried my hardest to keep other thoughts and feelings out of my head, trying to focus on something other than what I am feeling right now, but every time I glanced over at Nathan focusing on the road, I can’t help but check him out.

“Well, here we are, and we seem like the first people here,” Nathan said, as he pulled up into the gaps of the woods, unclipping himself from his seat belt and looking around for any of our friends.

“Knowing Steph and the others, they’re probably still getting ready, I’d say we probably won’t see them for another hour” I chuckled softly to myself, unclipping my belt too and sinking in my car seat, I turned my head to look at Nathan, but he was already staring at me, which caught me by surprise. His hand seems to shake a little, but I pretended not to notice, but this came increasingly hard when he placed it on my bare thighs. I let out a struggled breath, as I saw his whole hand cover it, his hands were big and strong, so pale that you can see the veins, but in a way that isn’t too obvious or sickly. I looked up at him once more, his face was now far close than I could ever imagine, his hot breath at this point was hitting my lips as his eyes stared directly into mine. Again, my body became increasingly hot, I began to wiggle a bit in my seat, I couldn’t sit still. I placed my forehead against his, and leaned in and softly kissed him, he grabbed my thigh softly and pulled himself in for more and more as his hand slowly began to explore up my skirt. Without hesitation I placed my hand on his crotch, I could feel how hard he is despite him wearing jeans, the full outline was there, and it felt big, just how I pictured it before, he let out a soft moan onto my lips.

“Lilla” He said, behind struggles of breath, as his hand moved further up, as his cool hand soothed the heat from my skin, but before we could speak again, we heard distance music behind us. s**t, the others, I forgot, how long were we waiting for?! Without thinking we both quickly pulled away from each other, I had to move my skirt down and he had to adjust himself, I looked at the wing mirror of the car and saw Steph coming up.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” She yelled, signalling for me to roll the window down, despite being reluctant to, and despite not being ever so happy that I was interrupted from this lustful feelings, I put the window down and smiled.

“Are we late? Or?” She followed up, her head shoved right through the window, smiling at Nathan to acknowledge that he is there also.

“Oh…Well,” I said looking over at Nathan, not knowing at what to say at all.

“I’d say you’re early, very early,” Nathan said quickly, as he looked over at me with a smirk, yet a look that spoke a thousand words- yes too early, but at least it wasn’t too late.

“Well, let's go to the lake! It’s time to celebrate” She responded with a smile.