Short Stories Told By A Witch

Emotions out of Control

I finally found someone I trusted enough to help guide me in my spiritual journey to help me become who I was always meant to be. Who I always was but just didn't see. 

The best piece of advice he ever gave me was;

"Watch your emotions, you could harm someone with out intending to. Thoughts and words are powerful things."

I thought I had understood this lesson. I had always been careful after that, until recently. I gave my heart to someone I thought deserved it. Nothing like being completely shattered by someone you have grown attached too, to make you forget some of the simplest lessons. 

As I was working on trying to write a spell, which I don't do for myself I do for others, I was listening to music. It was angry and reflecting how I was feeling. I couldn't focus on what I was doing at all because I didn't allow myself to bleed or mourn that relationship. Instead I sat there, I saw his face, I saw my hurt, and I spiraled. I wanted him to feel everything I felt. I wanted him to see who he really was, not who he kept pretending to be. The anger inside me just kept building and building, I didn't keep myself in check,

Thoughts and words are powerful things, especially when the emotions behind them are powerful and you can feel every single thought and see it manefest in front of you like a slow movie. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has had these moments. Where your hurt completely over shaddows everything. 

That's the difference between me and someone whose "normal". They are free to see and feel and think all of this without repercussions, but me? I'm not that lucky. I was born with a purpose, a higher calling I guess you could call it. With that, comes strong magic, that shouldn't be played with. I forgot these things that day. 

I wanted to hold his heart in my hand and give him the hurt I had in my chest, I wanted him to be shown what true pain looked like. What it's like to be judged so unfairly like he did to me. To have a chance to reflect on his entire life, and feel everything he's ever done to me and others. He has a temper you see, and he can be a right see you next tuesday. He had decided someone elses life was not as valuable as his. An old friend of mine was suffering. An addict trying to get clean had fallen off his path and called me. 

I'm a healer, I am  hope, I am the light in the darkness he needed in that moment. For going to do what I needed and not doing what he wanted, I was condemned and so was our relationship. After a year of being with this person, I never thought he was this cold. 

I did what was right by my friend, and I rushed to him. I supported him when he needed it because that's what I do. I love fully, be it my friends or a spouce. I love with all that I have, especially when their hearts are as beautiful as my friends. He is an addict yes, but his heart is so much more. He doesn't deserve judgement from others, especially those who don't know him. 

No one can honestly say their life is above another. It's not right and it's just not true. The world is made up of so many different people, suffering, laughing, and being for a reason. I was so stuck on this deep anger I felt towards someone I thought was my forever because of how he spoke that day, that I wanted him to really experience suffering. 

Unfortuatlly, for someone like me, we think so hard, and we see it happening, that it ends up doing just that. The Man I thought I wanted to be my forever started seeing me in his dreams. Torturing him, at my hands, my bloodied hands. I wanted him to suffer so much that I made it happen, I allowed it. 

I should feel bad about it but I don't. Simply because he had a lesson to learn, he needed to find his  heart, and learn to be a better person. He needed to learn that his life is not more valuable then another. Karma works in funny ways, its neither good or evil it just is. Just like human life, we just are. 

I guess I'm writing this chapter to try and open your eyes. You as the one reading this, that it doesn't matter if your an addict or just a normal person living your life. If your soul is beautiful, if your heart is pure, and I mean really pure, you are worth saving, you will always find light in the darkness and someone like myself will come along to help you along the way. You are never truly alone in your suffering. 

If you're like the other man in this chapter, You will also come to face your karma. Be it at the hands of a dream, in person, or by some other event in your life. No one can escape or get away with being so selfish, not forever. 

Remember the lesson behind this though, words are powerful things, actions are ever lasting and it will always be this way. Someone will one day come along and make you face yourself. So, who are you?