Beside Him

Chapter 15// Fat?

In the shower on Friday morning, all I could think about was how angry Archer had been- at me. It was all at me and I had no idea why.

I sighed and got out, wrapping a white fluffy towel around me and one in my hair.

I'd woken up early today, unable to sleep due to the confusion and guilt.

I put on a black a line leather skirt, a white cropped hoodie and my black and white vans, tying my blow dried then straightened hair into a high pony and securing the head cheerleader's band into it.

We had our first game of the year today, and it was important for me to show up supporting the Wolves.

I kissed Taco on the head, ruffling his fur and, after telling Giana to bathe and trim him, I walked out.

I linked arms with Jay, whose friendship with me has blossomed over the past few weeks, and skipped to school with him.

Because Greenwich came after Costell High (literally and metaphorically) he always made sure to drop me of first.

He never once mentioned Archer to me and I couldn't appreciate it more.

He dropped me off and I kissed his cheek wiping the stain off for him.

He winked then walked away.

I stepped in, sighing as eyes and whispers followed me everywhere.

I just took out my phone, and engrossed myself in it, finishing off reading Jane Eyre.

What? Everything can be done on the phone, Ok?

"Archer!" I heard an unmistakable shriek from somewhere beside me and I gritted my teeth.

Don't turn. Don't f*****g turn.

I looked at the floor in front of me, ignoring the new 'it' couple making out like f*****g porn starts beside me.

God give me strength.

"Hey, baby." He said, his voice still smooth. I gritted my teeth and rolled up my fists, stopping in front of my locker where the couple was.

My eyes narrowed into Barbara's soul, her ugly face directly in front of me.

"Move." I growled then took a deep breath in.

"Huh? Am I bothering you, Rivi?" She asked and I noticed her smudged lipstick and two extra coats of makeup.

My anger immediately disappeared, replaced instantly with worry.

I stepped closer and she almost flinched.

"Barbs, are you okay?" My voice had no scowl, no anger, no hidden motive.

I was just concerned for my ex best friend, knowing of the abuse she experienced at home.

She blinked at my sudden mood change and I saw the vulnerability flash past her blue irises.

"I- I'm fine." She said then gritted her teeth and her b***h mask was back on, glued tightly.

"Barbs-"

She cut me off swiftly. "Christ, Rivi. I don't get what you don't understand. We are no longer friends, you dumb bitch." I closed my eyes at the sharp sting of her words. "You aren't allowed to call me Barbs anymore, you loser. Now piss off I'm busy."

I raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Her coping mechanism was always to hide behind the b***h facade. I would know better than anyone.

So I let her. I always let her.

"You're in front of my locker." I said looking away and cupping my wrist.

I still hadn't looked at Archer once.

"Oh?" She asked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

"Yep." I rolled around on the balls of my feet to my toes, awkwardly waiting for them to move.

Her next words were a slap to the face. "You're gaining weight, Rivi." She said, then turned and walked away, yanking Archer behind her with their hands interlocked.

She knew. She always knew about my consciousness of my weight, and she always chose to use it against me.

I looked down at myself.

Am I really gaining weight?

I licked my lips, sweat breaking out. I was wearing a fairly lose skirt, did it look tight? Did I look fat?

Am I fat?

Oh, Christ.

I ran to the bathroom at inhuman speeds, pushing people away as I did.

Then, as I got to it, I shoved the door open and ran to the toilet, emptying the nothingness from my stomach into the pot. I absently kicked the stall door shut, holding it closed with my foot.

Tears streamed down my face as my throat burnt from the liquid flowing down it, creating a redundant smell.

I didn't even realise someone was behind me, pulling my hair back and stroking my back.

After who knows how long, I finally found the courage to look up and my heart dropped as Penny looked at me in pity, stroking my back and patting it with a small smile dancing about her thin lips.

Pity. The emotion I despised the most.

I'd gotten it from my therapist 3 years ago and I was getting it from her now.

I pulled myself up, walking shakily to the sink and washing my face under the freezing cold water.

"Are you Ok?" She asked shakily, obviously thinking of it as a privilege or something to talk to me, eliciting an eye roll from me.

"Peachy." I replied, reapplying my lip gloss.

Then I turned to her and placed a big smile on, although my question was burning my heart.

"Am I gaining weight, Pen?" I asked, turning to the left lightly. She opened her mouth but closed it immediately when I shook my head. "Please be honest."

She looked at me, up and down. "Rivi, you're literally tiny. Like, really tiny." She said and I sighed I relief.

Her eyes clouded with worry as she stepped closer. And closer again. And closer again. Then suddenly she threw her arms around me, earning a grunt of shock form me as she pulled me closer, her large frame towering over mine.

"Rivi, people say untrue sh*t all the time. The key is to filter it out into something useful." She said into my head and I sniffed.

Was I really in the ladies room getting comforted by Penelope?

"Do- do you get called mean stuff too?" I stuttered, giving in and leaning my hands onto her back loosely.

"Well, people aren't as jealous of me as they are of you. See, you're beautiful and you don't even know it, and it gets a lot of attention from the boys, creating jealousy and curfuful from girls. They'd do anything to protect what's theirs, including put you down for it."

"Curfuful?" I asked, my voice cracking. "Is that a type of food?"

"Oh no. Trust me, I know every single food there ever is. Curfuful means... I don't know, it's a context thing."

I laughed at that. "Got it."

She pulled back and inspected my face. "I just wanna thank you, Rivi." She said kindly and I frowned,sniffing again.

"You? Why? Shouldn't I be thanking you?"

"Well, yeah maybe but that doesn't mean you have to. This calls it even." She replied in that chirpy voice of hers. I tilted my head to the left in confusion.

"What do you mean? Even for what?"

"Well, when you picked me to be on your team that day, that too first thing, it made everyone kind of back off, knowing you didn't hate me." She said and I noticed the blush coming up to her pale skin, causing me to smile. "So thank you, for that."

I grinned, reaching up to ruffle her bright blonde hair.

"It's no probs, Pen." I said with a sigh. "Question. How did you find me?" I asked with a frown, genuinely curious as I knew she wasn't here when I came in. The bathroom was empty.

"Oh, my brother found me." She replied chirpily. "Step brother. He told me you came in here."

"Your step brother?" I asked, completely confused. "Who's your step brother?"

She laughed nervously. "Archer," She replied at last. "Archer King."