Where we left off

Chapter 5

I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. Sitting on the across Eddie and Janine on the love seat while they were laughing and flirting most of the time during dinner. It felt suffocating to watch them being all lovey dovey and smily. I felt like I was being replaced by her. I don’t like the change that she was inflecting.

“Zendaya” Diana called from next to me “Do you want to come? The party?”

“You are coming, right?” Eddie asked.

I nodded to him before dropping my eyes back to the book I was reading. This week’s read was It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover. A book that has so far scarred my feelings without even finishing it. It was also the perfect way to avoid looking at the scene in front of me.

“You seem more of a bookworm this week than ever” Diana “We’re supposed to have a movie night over here”

I dropped my eyes back to the book with a small shrug.

Eddie chuckled “I told her that if she finishes all the unread books on her bookshelves, I would drive her into town and buy her whatever books she wants”

“I want to come too?” Janine said.

“You read?” I lowered my books to looks up at her “What you genre?”

She giggled “I don’t read books. Cheer leading takes up all my time” she explained “I can keep Eddie busy will you do you book browsing”

“Eddie browses too” I corrected her“We do it together. He usually takes more time than I do”

 Eddie gave her a small smile “As much as I enjoy hanging out with you, this is Zendaya and I’s thing. We can do something else though”

It always has been our thing. He would drive us into town and we’d spend at least two hours in the book store before we going to the diner next door to have lunch and milkshakes, then we’d ended up laying down mats in the park and reading a book. When the sun sets, we’d get ice cream and Thai food, then watch a movie at his place.

Eddie has always been a bigger reader than I am. Despite his busy schedule, he would read at least two books a week. We’d always get different books so we can swap afterward. We liked different genre though, I’ve always been romance and new adult reader, while Eddie preferred young adult and fantasy books.

“Now that out stomach is full. What are we watching today?” Sammy asked.

That’s where my mind was the whole movie. My eyes were on the screen, but most of the time it was distracted by Eddie cozying up on the love seat with Janine. It was something he used to do that with me when we’d have our movie nights because I’m always cold and his couch is not exactly comfortable.

Whenever his eyes met mine, I’d quickly look away and pretend like I was never looking at him. He’d smile at me at me before also looking back at the screen.

“Refill, please” Janine said holding up the popcorn bowl.

“Me too” Diana said holding out her bowl.

“Sure” Eddie said as he took both bowls and walked into the open kitchen a few feet away.

The second he was far enough to not hear us, Janine turned to Sammy with a smile. I didn’t bother, I just watched as Eddie was making the popcorn in the kitchen. He was he was leaning down to look at the setting on the microwave, then how he leaned against the island behind him as he watched the microwaves lit up and the popcorn start to pop. He’d turn every now and then and smile at me.

“He’s so cute” Janine whispered.

I turned to her confused. She was talking to Diana and Sammy mostly.

“Do you think I should make the first move?” She asked “I’ve been waiting for him to do the first move or ask me out, but he still hasn’t done that”

Diana looked over to me waiting for my reaction, I just turned back to watch Eddie.

“That would be so cute” Sammy said.

“I think wait a bit longer” Diana said “If he likes you that much, he will ask you out when he is ready too”

“Or maybe he’s waiting for you to ask him” Sammy said.

“I could ask him to come back after he drops you guys home” he said “I could ask him out”

“And kiss him too” Sammy said “It’d be so romantic”

I felt my stomach drop at her works and my heart cling in my chest. I don’t want her to ask him out. I don’t want her lips anywhere on him or her hands anywhere near him. He wasn’t hers to touch. I was being selfish and I knew it. Or perhaps it was because I was jealous. Either way, I turned out the rest of the conversations that were going around me and was out of focus the remaining of the movie.

Eddie drove Sammy and I home and offered to walk me to the door just like every night he’d drop me home after gym and would hangout at his house. No matter how many time I told him that he doesn’t need to walk me all the way up to the door, he still did. Each time he’d remind me that that his mum would kill hum if he didn’t walk the girl all the way up to the door and make sure she’s safe. It was simply the way he was raised.

Sammy jumped out of the car before it came to a stop. Reminding us that he episode of the bachelor is about to start. Within seconds of her walking into the house, the lights of her room turned on. Eddie and I just chuckled as he started to make our way up to the door.

“That movie was really bad” I pointed out.

“I know” he said with a smirk “But how would you? You weren’t even watching”

“I was” I said as I tried playing it off “You were the one busy cuddling and flirting the whole movie”

“We were talking about the movie” he pointed out “We weren’t flirting all the time”

“You must really like her” I mumbled.

I nodded “She’s really nice once you get to know her, I promise” he said with a smile once we reached my door “Anyways, I need to head back. I promised that I will help her clean up”

“Or you could stay” I suggested “We can watch a movie. One that is actually good”

He rubbed the back of his neck with a small smile “It’s getting late though” He then took a step back “Goodnight, Zendaya”

I watched his walk half way through the pathway before I panic and spoke up without even thinking twice.

“She’s planning on kissing you when you back” I told him causing him to stop and turn to me “And ask you to be her boyfriend. I heard her telling Sammy and Diana”

“And what’s wrong with that? I mean I much prefer if I was the one making the first move but this is fine” he said.

I walked down the steps and made my way to him “She asked Ryder out a few days back. Are you sure you want to be with her that soon?”

“Did you say you won’t be interfering with my love life and that I can be with whoever I want when you rejected me countless times?” He said making me halt at his words “I am making my own choices now, Zy”

When he turned around, the words just fell out of my mouth before I had the chance to process them or stop them.

“But she’s just a second choice. You’re only dating her because I don’t want to get into a relationship” I pointed out.

“It’s not like that” he said turning to me.

“It is” I said “If I told right now that I want to be with you, wouldn’t you just forget about her?”

He sighed with his eyes closed like he was barely able to hold on with all the force he had left “Don’t talk like that” he said “Don’t say things that would get my hopes up only to have them crush down with your rejection”

I let out a heavy breath out before I started to spill my heart out “What if I was scared… What if I am scared of losing you if I get into a relationship with you. I am scared that I would lose you if something goes wrong with us. I value you too much to let anything come between us and break us apart” I said “What if … what If I like you but I don’t want to lose you if we break up”

I felt the butterflies in my stomach and the goose bumps cover my skin as I watched him walking up to me. When he closed the distance between us, he reached down and cupped my face before covering my lips with his.

It was as if the air escaped my lungs and lips lit up on fire, like the was a hole in my heart that I didn’t know about and now got filled by the taste of his lips onto mine as he devoured me.

A minute later, he pulled back, resting his head against mine as he let out a breath “Your fear is no reason for us not to happen. I know that you don’t want to hear this but who knows what might happen. We could go our separate ways at some point even if we don’t date or even die tomorrow for all I know” he said “I can only promise you one thing, I will hold on to you till my arms give out and my heart stops beating. Please don’t let your fear get in the way of what can happen between us”

“And if it doesn’t workout?” I asked almost in tears.

“We don’t think about that for now” he said “How about we just take it day by day and see where it takes us? We start with a date for now and make our way up. We’re still going to be friends so if things go south, it won’t be hard to go right back to being friends. How does that sound?”

Before I could answer, he shook his head “Actually, don’t answer that. I will come back tomorrow and pick you up at 7. You can make your decision after the date. Okay?”

I gave him a nod “Okay”

He leaned back down again and placed a peck on my lips before leaving.