Luna reborn

Chapter 13 - Midnight conversations

Chapter 13 - Midnight conversations

Grace POV

Here I am, once again on Logan’s couch, but the atmosphere is much tenser than earlier.

Only a few hours ago, I was nervous as hell but excited, now, I’m tired, hurt and I just want to go home. The annoying part is that it feels like home. Not the apartment, but Logan. The idea of leaving is dreadful. The idea of staying is dreadful. I am so torn apart that I can almost feel physical pain.

Logan was in the kitchen doing I don’t know what. I just wanted to get done with this mess and, like I’ve said, go back to my apartment. When I was about to go to the kitchen and ask him is he was coming, he arrived, bringing a plate of sandwiches in one hand and two beers in the other.

“Sorry, I don’t have too much food up here. Is a beer ok? I can bring you a glass of wine or something.” he said aquardly.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll take the beer, but I’m not hungry.” my voice was trembling.

“You have to eat. You’ve been here almost all night and you haven’t eaten anything.” he said with a combination of pleading and bossing in his voice.

“Don’t boss me around!” I half yelled.

“Well, it’s in my f****** nature so learn to deal with it!” he snapped.

“S***. I’m sorry!” he pulled fingers through his hair and then as if he remembered he was holding a beer. He took a long sip and then sat the bottle on a coffee table near me. He wasn’t even looking at me. Apparently, the floor was more interesting. all of a sudden, he took my hand and said: “I obviously have a few things to say, but promise me that it won’t affect your decision when it comes to us.” His voice was pleading.

“To us? I kinda got the idea you were done with us?” I’ve closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Tears were burning my eyes.

“I think you want to leave me, you think I want to leave you.:” he said with a bitter laugh. “What a pair we are.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to explain the mate bond, I’ve said how strong it was. To answer your question, of course you have a right to decide if you want me or not. I have as well. And I want you. Don’t you ever, ever doubt that. If we make this work", he took my hand once again and started to play with my fingers,

"trust me; I’ll act like an i***t from time to time. I might do stupid things, I might say them, but be sure in one thing - I want you. I need you. And nothing will ever change that. No matter what I say or do my loyalty to you will never change. my need for you will never change. My devotion. My lo...”

He stopped talking. What did he want to say , love? Isn't it too soon for love? But it does feel like love. Confusion was gettig deeper.

“Do you want another beer? I think I might need one.” I got up and went to the kitchen after he nodded. Upon return, I gave him his beer and sat back on the couch.

Another minute has passed by before he continued:

“I don’t even remember if I’ve said earlier, but as an Alpha I am stronger, faster, smarter than the rest of the pack members.”

“of course you are.”

This time he truly smiled and said: “I’m not trying to be cocky, these are the facts.”

After smiling once again, he continued:

“When it comes to emotions, I feel them 10 times stronger than others. I love to believe that I'm a rational person, but when it comes to mates, all rationality flies out of the window. Breaking the mate bond hurts. Just mentioning it brings pain, like physical pain. So when you asked me if there was a way out of this, well, you can imagine what was happening in my head, in my body. So I just needed some space. I didn’t mean to leave you alone and scared, but I needed space.”

I got up and sat closer to him: “Your mom mentioned dying earlier.”

“She’s a bit dramatic, don’t worry, I’ll probably survive your rejection,,”

“Probably? There is actually a chance for you to.. “ A sob stopped me from finishing.

“Shhhhhhh..” He pulled me to his lap and hugged me. “It happens sometimes, but it’s quite rare. If you decide you don’t want me, I won't lie to you. It will hurt. Physical pain will disappear with time. Emotionally, I’ll..I’ll feel it for a long time. But I will learn to cope. So you don’t have to worry, ok.”

By the time he finished I was sobbing so hard, my whole body was shaking and the only thing keeping me together was Logan.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I swear I didn’t. I, I.. I am so s-s-sorry. I don’t want to leave you.”

After a while, I’ve wiped my eyes, trying to smile: “Look at me. Are you sure you are not going to leave me, I am probably the ugliest cryer you’ll ever see!”

His tender look slowly relaxed me:

“Go to bed, baby, it’s almost morning. YOu really need to get some rest.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll stay here on the couch. If you need anything, just call, ok?”

“No, no, “ I’ve said while shaking my head. “Please, come with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

“ARe you sure?” he asked roughly.

“Yeah, baby. I am.”