The Power of God

SHINING

As far back as i can remember, I knew all about the love of God. My Grandfather was a missionary pastor, and my father, who was an American military man, was pretty religious. To him, church on Sunday was not to be negotiated, other than the struggle to dress up so formally. We kids actually looked forward to it every week because he would gather all of us together. I had three siblings and two cousins who lived in our house and five cousins who lived next door. He would read passages from verses. After the discussion, the marathon of rented movies and a feast of junk food began. I accepted Christ in Sunday school probably around the age of seven and must have been baptized two years later. I can still vividly remember the feeling afterward. It was as if we had made a huge transition into something like womanhood. From then, I developed the habit of reading my bible(The King James Version, ) a few minutes before bedtime and praying to God. My prayer was usually the same every night, that God would keep my parents safe and healthy and that I would go to Heaven when I died. If I had an extra special request, I would drag it down on paper and tie the paper to a balloon that would rise and float high in the air because I thought it could reach God directly, who was far, far away. I was conscious not to think, say or do things that I thought would displeace God nonetheless, even though I loved and revered Him, to me He was a distant God who was to be feared and obeyed religiously.

FROM CLARK TO THE CAMERAS

My parents were strict disciplinarians. Unlike the rest of the world. I was never allowed to go to slumber parties or any other party for that matter. Unless chaperoned by my father, just when all the other teenagers were on their way somewhere to have fun with their friends. I had to be home by 6pm. The restrictions left me with barely any friends and low self-esteem, which led to rebellion. I thought that if I could only have the same kind of freedom that others did, my life would be better. To fit in, I began to smoke, dream and sneak out of the house at night. Boy, did I get a beating for that one? After that, I questioned what my work was in life, on my knees in the bedroom and prayed. If you really do exist, show me my purpose in life. Why was I even born, is my future to be something as mundane as it is now?" To my amazement, while we were in Manila a few days later to do some shopping, we were going to pay a visit to the GMA studios at the suggestion of my uncle. It was then while watching that entertainment. A daily late afternoon television show. I was approached by the program host, German Moreno, to be one of the talents. I soon realized that this could well have been the answer to my prayers. Somehow, my mom managed to convince my dad to allow me to accept the offer. So, at the age of 18, I started my career. He showed this with my mom as my companion, business representative. I split back and forth between Pampanga and Manila to attend to my entertainment functions and commitments from the world of television. I also ventured into the world of movies and slowly made a name for myself. Not long after came the 1991 mount Pinatubo eruption. The consequence of this natural disaster made it very difficult, if not impossible for us to continue shuttling back and forth from Pampanga to Manila. Nonetheless, I choose to pursue my career and decide to settle in Manila. This time with my father accompany me while my mom and siblings moved to Kadena Air Base in Okinawa, Japan. As my career was speaking up, my personal life was going downhill, young, impressionable and reckless as I was I neglected my relationship with God because I was happy, busy with other things, especially with matters of the heart. This was an area ie would cause some friction between my parents, but somehow I allowed my selfishness and stubbornness to prevail. This caused my family so much pain. It even came to a point where they almost this morning because I refused to obey them. To run away from all the confusion in trouble, I left the Philippines with no definite plans for the future and ended up hanging out to the wrong crowd and taking recreational drugs. I wasted my time and energy attending wild parties inhabitants less fun. At the time, I had signed up with Genesis entertainment and was being managed by Miss Angie. She advised me to come back home and straighten things up in my career and personal life, but I didn't listen to her.

SEEING REAL THINGS

All this time that I was keeping alive with no direction. My conscience bothered me. I remembered my parents and all the values they taught me. I remembered my whole conversations with Deepak and all her motivation and encouragement. I kept telling myself every time I got high on drugs with my friends, that I would start cleaning up my art and that it would be the last time it never was. Finally, get and build my eyes and allowed me to see the inhale in all that I was doing. One night when I was in a club party with my friends, and we were all high and my eyes shifted to the bottle that I was holding, and was shocked to see the label. Red Devil and I look up at the crowd around And notice that everyone had a black hole in their chest. It was as if God was showing me the emptiness of their souls, and where they were going if they didn't change their ways. I believe it must not just a hallucination. But God's way of shaking me up and making me realize the peril, I was in

Back home when my friend told his wife tita ange, of his resolved for Genesis entertainment to give me just one last chance I needed to come back to the Philippines and get my act together or else they would have to drop from their roster of talents. When the time God called to tell me about the Ultimatum, it was a no brainer. I knew that now was the time to turn my life around by going back home to reconcile with my family revived my career and at the advice of Tita undergoe a spiritual deliverance. But just when I got home, the internet scandal involving me and several other local actresses came out. It was to be this glow not only to make on your own but also to my personal life. I was so this depressed that I locked myself inside my room and abused to talk to anyone. For days, I cried out loud, punch the walls with my bare fists, And ask God why he allowed this kind of disgrace to happen to me

When Tita Angeli decided to go over to my place to talk

I refused to let her in and insisted that I be left alone. For hours,

she was just outside patiently knocking on my door and begging

me to listen to what she had to say. In tears, she told me that God

loved me so much, and that if only I would surrender my life

to Him and make Him my Lord, then I would find my purpose

in life. If I let Him, He would turn everything around-in

my

family, in my career and in my love life. She told me how Jesus

offers hope, peace, joy and a future to those who put their trust

in Him. I have been hearing about Jesus ever since I was a young

child, but at that moment, it was as if it was a fresh revelation

to me. For the first time I fully understood what it meant to

surrender

life to Jesus.

I opened the door and found Tita Angeli on the floor praying.

She was physically exhausted as she waited for hours for me to

relent. She embraced me and we both went on our knees as she

prayed with me and for me. At that point, I did not have any

second thoughts. I surrendered my life completely to Jesus. I cried

as I begged for His forgiveness and asked Him to be the Savior

and Lord of my life. My decision was unconditional, I did not ask

or hope for any blessing in return for

my OBEDIENCE. My having a personal relationship with Jesus was the reward in itself.

SHINING FOR GOD

After that fateful day, things were never the same for me

I gained a deeper sense of spirituality which came from my longing to know the Lord in a more intimate way. I spent a lot of

time praying and reading the Bible. I surrendered all

my

relation-

ships to Him and with the guidance of my mentors, I underwent

spiritual deliverance to free me from the b*****e of sin and the

negative strongholds in my life.

God, in His goodness and faithfulness, blessed me immensely.

My career took a 180-degree turn. Despite the controversies I got

myself into, I received a lot of offers for product endorsements.

I was also given an opportunity to be part of an international movie

project and the chance to become a Video Jock (VJ) on MTV.

The latter required me to be based in Singapore, which was

perfect for me at that time. After all I went through, I needed

a change of atmosphere and the MTV offer was God's answer to that.

Tita Angeli challenged me to pray for a friend my age who

would be the perfect mentor and example, and although at first

I laughed at the idea of a “perfect" mentor, ironically, the first

person I met became my best friend and the most ideal role model

of what a follower of Christ should be (and later on she became

the maid of honor in my wedding).

Many were surprised that I became more serious in my faith

while I was in Singapore where my job as VJ exposed me to a

lifestyle of wild parties and carefree fun. I thank God for showing

me that I didn't need that kind of lifestyle anymore. As a matter

of fact, I felt a greater sense of freedom than I did before.

Just when I realized that this newfound relationship with God

was all I ever needed, God gave me something else. He gave methe second greatest love of my life--my husband Eric. I praise the

Lord for giving me such a loving and God-fearing partner in life.

Even now I see how he leads me closer to God even though I came

to know the Lord ahead of him. I look forward to

family with him as we serve God together in many ways.

I did many things in the past, which I certainly am not proud

of. But I have no regrets because God used even those things to

bring me to where I am today. He restored me and gave my life

a new beginning. To this day I haven't had enough time to fully

appreciate God's display of His love, grace, goodness and power

in my life

Since the time I gave my life to Jesus, I have been so passionate

in telling others about Him, something I never imagined myself

doing years back. Some say that following Jesus is hard because

you have to give up a lot of things. In my case, I was not pre-

occupied with what I thought I had to be. I just took things one

day at a time, allowing God to change my perspective as I learned

from His Word and before I knew it, people were pointing our

desire to do His

the amazing changes in me.

My selfish and rebellious heart was replaced with one that

submits to God. What motivates me now is my

will in all the areas of my life and in the life of my own family.

With the latest addition to our clan, our son

more than ever vital for us to pave the right path for him. I believe

that my example will determine his steps and will encourage

many others to follow Christ. And if God makes me shine in the

process, it is because He wants me to shine for His glory.