Lies And Consequences Collection

Chapter 14-1

Green Or Yellow?

There was a letter pushed under the door of my in room at the hotel. It contained much, but explained little.

Dear Shaun, I"m sorry it ended this way. That was not my decision. However, I couldn"t be doing this face to face, it would upset me too much. I"ve told you many lies, but that was not my idea either. Now is the time to clear up some of them, if you allow me and if I can.

Dear Shaun, I"m sorry it ended this way. That was not my decision. However, I couldn"t be doing this face to face, it would upset me too much. I"ve told you many lies, but that was not my idea either. Now is the time to clear up some of them, if you allow me and if I can.

When I first met you I thought you were up your own backside in a big way. I slowly changed my mind about that. I realise we"ve only known each other for less than three days but I can say without question you are the nicest man I"ve ever come across. I truly wish that if I had a brother and that brother was you then, perhaps, things may have worked out differently for me. I reckon you could have kept me safe, but I"m too far into this mess to ever be that and now I have no way out that I can see.

When I first met you I thought you were up your own backside in a big way. I slowly changed my mind about that. I realise we"ve only known each other for less than three days but I can say without question you are the nicest man I"ve ever come across. I truly wish that if I had a brother and that brother was you then, perhaps, things may have worked out differently for me. I reckon you could have kept me safe, but I"m too far into this mess to ever be that and now I have no way out that I can see.

I was recruited into British intelligence when I was a p********e in Newry, but I told you the truth about not meeting Jack Price until recently. One night my favours were paid for by a rugged looking middle-aged Irishman who spoke with such eloquence that I could almost forget he was a trick. It was not only the s*x he was after though. He told me that Donegal Fitzpatrick was in trouble with the local Garda for supplying guns to a group of Irish dissidents, as he called them, in Sligo. I could help him he said, by finding out some information on that group for him to pass on to the police without Donegal having the need to know. It would get him off the hook, he said. Perhaps I believed him the more because he was old enough to be the father I"d never had.

I was recruited into British intelligence when I was a p********e in Newry, but I told you the truth about not meeting Jack Price until recently. One night my favours were paid for by a rugged looking middle-aged Irishman who spoke with such eloquence that I could almost forget he was a trick. It was not only the s*x he was after though. He told me that Donegal Fitzpatrick was in trouble with the local Garda for supplying guns to a group of Irish dissidents, as he called them, in Sligo. I could help him he said, by finding out some information on that group for him to pass on to the police without Donegal having the need to know. It would get him off the hook, he said. Perhaps I believed him the more because he was old enough to be the father I"d never had.

Donegal was screwing me so it wasn"t hard to go with him on his deliveries and meet who he met. I got the names of most in that group and in time, some more. In no more than six months the Brits were screwing me in my mind. I was owned by them and had no other place to go. But that wasn"t the whole of the story. I never found that out until very recently. The man who slashed my friend"s face, and was then beaten up, was heavily connected within the Republican Army. As Donegal expanded his p**********n ring so he met people with differing political agendas. Many were from the Ulster Volunteers. The IRA pulled his strings and when they pulled hard enough he supplied them those Ulstermen"s names! But the IRA"s alliance with Donegal didn"t last long.

Donegal was screwing me so it wasn"t hard to go with him on his deliveries and meet who he met. I got the names of most in that group and in time, some more. In no more than six months the Brits were screwing me in my mind. I was owned by them and had no other place to go. But that wasn"t the whole of the story. I never found that out until very recently. The man who slashed my friend"s face, and was then beaten up, was heavily connected within the Republican Army. As Donegal expanded his p**********n ring so he met people with differing political agendas. Many were from the Ulster Volunteers. The IRA pulled his strings and when they pulled hard enough he supplied them those Ulstermen"s names! But the IRA"s alliance with Donegal didn"t last long.They shot him as a traitor when the young Irishman I met that night in Newry fingered him. He ran me for a while until Scarface turned up one day when I was working in a bar in Belfast. It was he who told me where Finnegan was and it was he who taped the knife under a pew in St Mary"s that I used to kill him. Said, and I believed him, it was the British government"s way of saying thank you for the work I"d done against the Republicans.

They shot him as a traitor when the young Irishman I met that night in Newry fingered him. He ran me for a while until Scarface turned up one day when I was working in a bar in Belfast. It was he who told me where Finnegan was and it was he who taped the knife under a pew in St Mary"s that I used to kill him. Said, and I believed him, it was the British government"s way of saying thank you for the work I"d done against the Republicans.

I"m not looking for your sympathy, nor for the understanding of me. All I"m trying to do is warn you against accepting Jack Price for what he appears to be on the surface. There"s so much hidden out of sight that I fear for you. You are too honest for your own good and you"re too ready to be taken in by anyone who shows an interest in you. In that respect we are equals. My case is beyond salvation. I"ve sinned too many times, but you are just starting out with time on your side to turn around and go home. I know you won"t take my advice. I know I would not if our roles were reversed.

I"m not looking for your sympathy, nor for the understanding of me. All I"m trying to do is warn you against accepting Jack Price for what he appears to be on the surface. There"s so much hidden out of sight that I fear for you. You are too honest for your own good and you"re too ready to be taken in by anyone who shows an interest in you. In that respect we are equals. My case is beyond salvation. I"ve sinned too many times, but you are just starting out with time on your side to turn around and go home. I know you won"t take my advice. I know I would not if our roles were reversed.

To most people that I"ve met, killing becomes easier the more you do it. With you I"m not so sure that"s the case. The lack of emotion that you had after shooting that man Acre was not natural, Shaun. You may think that to be a strength of yours, it"s not. Jack Price sees that as your major weakness. I"m in America as your older sister Fianna and although there won"t be anyone looking for you to back up my story, please remember the tale about Athlone. Lies get you into trouble if you forget the reasons why you"re telling them. If you forget Athlone you"ll put my life in danger and then I can"t protect you. There aren"t many friends in the business you"ve chosen, don"t lose the only one you might have.

To most people that I"ve met, killing becomes easier the more you do it. With you I"m not so sure that"s the case. The lack of emotion that you had after shooting that man Acre was not natural, Shaun. You may think that to be a strength of yours, it"s not. Jack Price sees that as your major weakness. I"m in America as your older sister Fianna and although there won"t be anyone looking for you to back up my story, please remember the tale about Athlone. Lies get you into trouble if you forget the reasons why you"re telling them. If you forget Athlone you"ll put my life in danger and then I can"t protect you. There aren"t many friends in the business you"ve chosen, don"t lose the only one you might have.

You"ll probably think that I"m a sentimental fool in asking this of you, but it will mean a lot to me if you kept this ring of mine. I have no family nor likely to have any. Stay safe and distance yourself from Jack Price as much as you"re able. He plays dangerous games with other people"s lives.

You"ll probably think that I"m a sentimental fool in asking this of you, but it will mean a lot to me if you kept this ring of mine. I have no family nor likely to have any. Stay safe and distance yourself from Jack Price as much as you"re able. He plays dangerous games with other people"s lives.

Before you came along I could put up with being me, knowing where my life had to go, but now I"m having regrets and as you once told me, there"s no point in wishing for something you can"t have. Remember me well as I will fondly remember you. I believe in God. I must, as this life is a living hell.

Before you came along I could put up with being me, knowing where my life had to go, but now I"m having regrets and as you once told me, there"s no point in wishing for something you can"t have. Remember me well as I will fondly remember you. I believe in God. I must, as this life is a living hell.Bridget x x

Bridget x xPS. If I wasn"t queer I could well fancy you myself. Go find your Patty Ann and tell her to treat you well, or she"ll have a fiery Irish colleen to look out for.

PS. If I wasn"t queer I could well fancy you myself. Go find your Patty Ann and tell her to treat you well, or she"ll have a fiery Irish colleen to look out for.

Her key was at the reception desk and her room had been completely emptied of her belongings. Every tangible trace of her had disappeared apart from that jade ring and her letter.

* * *

We were on the plane when the subject of regrets weighed heavy on Fianna"s mind. “This ring never came from the priest, Shaun. I won it in a game of cards. I"d come to the game with the five hundred quid needed to sit at the table and was up that night about a grand. It doesn"t matter where that money came from. I"ll let you imagine what I had to do to get it, but it wasn"t all hardship. I"d met a few women by then who wanted me and were willing to pay for what I could provide. Anyway, I held a pair of aces and the last man still punching held a pair of kings. He"d laid down the best part of fifteen hundred pounds, only having the ring left to see my hand. The pot on the table was worth a fortune, more money than I"d ever seen. The man in charge of the game said I should accept it as the same worth as my wager and I wasn"t about to argue with half the IRA Army Council who were sitting around that table, so I did.