Secrets in the Ashes: Fragments of Desire

Chapter 4: A Hot Shower

My new bathroom was polished chrome and stark white tile. It was a bit of a contrast to the gold and black that Olly had picked for his own bathroom. The linens that hung from the towel bars were grey and a deep blue. They were so soft that I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and tenderly touching one.

My toiletries were scattered around the counters, some things still in boxes on the floor. I would get around to unpacking them and organising them some other time. At that moment, all I wanted was to get clean.

Every inch of my sweat-slicked skin felt seen and somehow dirtier because of it.

The water pressure was much better in this shower than the guest bathroom downstairs. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back into the stream of hot water, washing away the grime of the afternoon and the tension I'd let build inbetween my shoulder blades.

After a while, I heard a strange sound over the pounding of water against the porcelain tile. It almost sounded like an animal was stuck in the walls. I pressed my ear to the wall and struggled to listen but couldn't quite make it out.

I cut off the water after a moment and held my breath as I focused on the sound. It seemed to be coming from the other side of the wall now. I quickly went over the layout of the house in my head and realised that Olly's bathroom shared a wall with mine.

I gasped and went wide-eyed when I heard a male's voice grunt "Oh f**k," followed by more soft grunts and heavy breathing.

Then, there was a slam against the wall that caused me to jump back, my heart now racing. I could see the image of Olly perfectly in my head. His hand slamming into the wall as his other hand fisted around his...

Blushing yet again, I turned the water back on and hoped he wouldn't notice. The sounds of him pleasuring himself didn't stop and I let out a breath.

Try as I might, I couldn't focus on washing myself off anymore. All I could think about was Olly in the shower next to me, wishing like mad that I was between him and the wall he was still battering with his free hand.

I bit my lip and looked around, nervous that I would see eyes on me, then plucked the showerhead from its resting place and moved it slowly down my body.

The hot water burned me but it was a delicious kind of pain. When the pulsing of the showerhead hit my core, I gasped and inhaled sharply. I'd never m*********d in Olly's house, always so careful to keep things like that separate from my place of work – even though I spent most of my time here.

But, this was going to be my house now.

And the sounds of the god-like man on the other side of the wall was too much to deny. My fingers slipped between my thighs and I stroked the tender skin there with my nails as the water pulsated against me.

I threw my body against the shared wall and threw my head back, a moan escaping before I could bite it back. Once the first one slipped free, I couldn't stop the multitude that followed. My chest rose and fell faster and faster, each breath becoming more and more laboured as steam locked its wispy tendrils around my body.

I pressed my finger inside of myself and let out a curse as I curled it against that ever-so-sweet spot. I was on the edge and with one shift of the showerhead, I was falling over it.

I could barely breathe as I slowly descended from that high tower, the ground rushing up to meet me.

When my eyes finally fluttered open, I was anxiously aware that the sounds had stopped on the other side of the wall.

Quickly shutting off the water, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped one of the blue towels around my dripping body. I held my breath and listened closely for any sound other than the ruckus my heart was making.

The sound of a dresser drawer slamming shut startled me and I nearly slipped on the slick tile.

"f**k," I whispered as I reached for the handle of my bedroom and turned it quietly. I hoped against hope that Olly hadn't heard anything. How quiet had I been? I bit the inside of my cheek, recalling the rather loud sounds that I had made when I'd lost myself in the moment.

I sent out a silent prayer to whoever was listening as I ran to my closet and threw on a pair of comfy sweats and a loose shirt that hid most of my upper body. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again, but the sound of my stomach growling pulled me out of my dramatic thoughts.

I pulled on a pair of cosy socks with the hope that they would muffle my steps and headed down to the kitchen. As I walked past Olly's room, I heard his door handle jiggle and couldn't stop my legs from moving into a sprint to hurry past his door.

When I finally heard it open, I was already halfway down the stairs.

Olly found me in the kitchen, staring blankly into the open fridge as I tried to catch my breath.

"Good shower?" He asked.

I nodded, refusing to look at him. "Yeah, you?"

"It was a bit cold, someone must have been using all of the hot water." There was a taunting smugness to his tone but I was too embarrassed to rise to the challenge.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realise," I said softly.

He came to stand behind me, too close for me to think clean thoughts. All I could think about was him closing the distance and running his hands up my flushed skin.

"Can you hand me the milk whenever you're done?"

I grabbed the milk too fast and handed it to him with a shaking hand.

"You okay, Harlow?"

Grabbing the orange juice, I closed the fridge with a slam. "Yeah, just low blood sugar, I think."

"You should go lay down, I can bring you some juice, maybe a small snack."

I shook my head and took a glass from the drying rack near the sink. "No, I'm okay. I still need to vacuum and wash my clothes."

"Okay, just take some rest if you need it. I need you in fighting shape for tonight."

I looked at him, confusion colouring my features.

"The dinner party?" He asked with a fearfully raised brow.

I slapped the heel of my hand to my forehead. "It completely slipped my mind!"

"You got groceries for everything though, right?"

"Of course, I did all the shopping yesterday. I just forgot with all the moving. I'll get started cooking later. I might take you up on that rest."

"Good. I'll be in my office if you need me."

"Gotcha, boss." He smiled softly and made his way out of the kitchen, heading to his office upstairs while I made a glass of juice and tried to calm my nerves. I needed to get myself under control before the dinner party tonight.

After downing one glass of orange juice, I headed upstairs and collapsed into the bed. I wished that it would open up and swallow me whole. But instead, I reached over and grabbed my bottle of anxiety medication and took one with a sip of juice.

After a long moment, I felt a bit more normal and thanked the heavens for my calm heart as it slowed to a normal pace. I needed that, as tonight would be a new challenge for me.