My Perfect Love Story

Chapter 13: Iris

August 18, 2021

5:00 am

The Unknown

I’m walking, but I’m floating.

I’m living, but I’m dead.

I’m existing with no purpose while taking up meaningless space on Earth.

Whenever someone says, “There’s always that one person….” I’m that one person.

I sit in my room every day, taking in the air, wondering if this is what life is.

I ask myself, “What is gravity?” It’s pointless.

Gravity doesn’t exist to me. I sit on my bed every day, but I feel like I’m flying.

My heart drops when I realize my surroundings. When I realize I’m stuck in the same place.

There’s no such thing as gravity. If there is, where is it taking me to?

I get no answer. Exactly.

I’m walking, but I’m floating.

I’m living but I’m dead.

I’m existing with no purpose while taking up meaningless space on Earth.

Seeing Terrance was like a breath of fresh air. I didn't expect to see him so soon, let alone see him at all. My heart dropped when I saw him and it was only him in my eyesight. Then, he called Michael's name, and I remembered where I was. Terrance was affiliated with Michael, that's not good. As I was dismissed from the party, I thought of all of the things Michael has told me. 

"I am the only man who will ever love you."

"As much as I love fun, I don’t think you’ll enjoy it as much."

His condescending phrases was all that ran through my head as I walked down the hollow hallway. Why the hell did I shake his hand? Why did I encourage a conversation with Terrance? My legs were wobbly as I made my way towards the bedroom door. I stepped into the room to smell his scent, which made my heart drop. I didn’t want to be reminded of him. I didn’t want to be reminded of the harm I have just put myself in. My shaky breath was lost as different thoughts roamed through my head of what my death would look like.

Knowing what was to come, I stripped the dress from my body. I wore my signature outfit of the evening, my track shorts, and my WTF T-shirt. I walked into the bathroom, witnessing the stolen makeup I took from a maid. I laughed lightly as I remembered the frightened look on her face when she saw me in her room.

The single teardrops fall on the makeup bag, absorbed into the cotton. I refused to look in the mirror, I couldn’t. Why should I? Yet, I did. I gasped loudly as the once red mark on my face became more severe. The shade of the bruise darkened and it was very noticeable. I grazed my hand gently over the red mark, regretting it instantly. 

I sighed in despair when I heard the bedroom door be opened aggressively. Before I could investigate the loud, disturbing noise, I was slapped once again. On the same cheek as my poor bruise. I released some of my pain in a scream. A scream that held pain and discomfort. ”I’m sorry, please!” I pleaded hysterically. 

”What are you sorry for, dear?” He chuckled darkly, almost sarcastically, as he viewed my vulnerable state. He found satisfaction and security in front of vulnerability. Maybe it was just my vulnerability. Either way, the look on his face was one I couldn't identify. I didn't know if he was mad or curious, of course, he would be mad but, is he?

”What do I have to do for you to know your place? Huh!” His hand gripped tightly around my neck, blocking my airways. I struggled to breathe as Michael's large, rough hand squeezed my neck, with no desire of letting go. With every breath I took, it felt like I was drifting farther away from my soul. 

"M-Mich-" I couldn't even utter his name. The sound of my voice made him squeeze tighter. My vision began to blur, everything was now dizzy. I couldn't hear anything anymore, my main focus was fighting for my breath. I couldn't hear the door open. I couldn't hear or see my savior. I was roughly dropped on the floor, falling on my side. 

I didn't care about the pain, I just wanted to breathe. I wanted to take in as much air as I could. As I was panting for air, Michael, the 'intruder', and I had the same breathing rate. "My apologies, Mr. Romano, I will be on my way." The maid quickly rushed out of the room before I could protest her departure. The door closed and I let out a loud sob. 

I tried to hold in my hysterical sobs but I couldn't. I looked up at Michael, he was smiling. It didn't look like an 'I'm so happy' smile, I didn't know how to describe it but he surely wasn't satisfied with my loyalty to him.

"You never seem to learn. It's almost like we have to experience the same cycle every day," His eyes seemed to be caught in a haze, he looked in the bathroom. The door was still open, and the makeup was still on the counter for everyone to see. He sighed loudly, "Where did the makeup come from?" 

"M-maid." The thought of speaking and saying the wrong thing scared me. 

"You have yet to know me, so I won't punish you for wearing makeup," Why is he acting like he hasn't seen me in makeup before? His words don't sit well with me, he will always find a way to 'punish' me for something conventional. "However," Like I said, " You stood before me, talking to another man, touching another man while we were speaking. Let's not discuss your informal wear in front of well-off guests, almost disgracing my name." Michael spoke in amusement, anger was lost in his voice as he listed my wrongdoings.

"I-I didn't-" 

"Shut! Up." As much as I tried to plead my case, Michael wasn't willing to listen. I could tell he was trying to compose himself, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to die. "I shall deal with you accordingly. But not now." With that said, he left the room.

After hearing the door shut, I let out a breath of relief. Yet, I heard the door open again, causing a gasp to muster from my throat, thinking he came back with a weapon. I looked to see who came in and it was the maid from earlier. The maid who stopped Michael from killing me. The maid I stole makeup from.

"There is a lot you don't know about Mr. Romano." She said quietly as she went to the bathroom to retrieve her makeup. 

"Tell me about it," I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

"You aren't his first girlfriend," She said without facing me.

"You mean, I'm not his first victim?" The maid looked down as her cheeks began to turn into a darker shade of pink.

"I'd hate to insert myself in your relationship," I couldn't help but cut her off mid-sentence.

 "There is no relationship!" I shouted, which I regretted as soon as I did it.

"My apologies, madam. I'll leave you be." She said quickly as she made her way towards the door.

"Wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." I said frantically. This is my chance to make a friend. "My name is Mariana."

"Iris. You're forgiven. I have to go before Mr. Romano gets back." She leaves quickly, still refusing to face me.

I sighed deeply as I was alone, on the floor, feeling sorry for myself. I rose from the floor and laid in the bed. I laid in bed and cried. Cried for my freedom, cried for my unrequited friendships, cried for my mom, dad, the abuse, the everlasting feeling of reassurance and attention. Why am I this way?

"Why am I this way?" I refused to think about the answer, I didn't want to drown myself in tears. So, I did the best thing I could do to avoid the pain. I slept. 

                                                           ~My Perfect Love Story~