Living in my own fantasy

Chapter 2

       Have you ever felt like drowning due to overwhelming responsibilities and instant changes happening? Isn't it hard? Isn't it confusing? I don't know. I don't know the right words to say if I'll be the one asked about it. You know, no matter what you say no matter what I say... There will always be judgments along the way. The environment itself is getting wilder than first day, but the question is can you handle the pressure it has with its waves?  

     The first thing i did right after I read the note that I made weeks ago, is to walk alone to the sink. I was hesitant at first but I tried to take a glance at my reflection in the mirror. 

"Damn, I look terrible" I mumbled. 

    The water was running free from the faucet and I did my thing. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, what else? Uh yes, maybe I should also start brushing my hair because judging by the look of it, it will surely feel awful to brush it in the normal way. Darn. What am I doing to myself? Forgetting how to love myself? Well, lesson learned... You can stay stressed out but hey, don't you ever forget to love yourself. 

    Pain was evident on my face. I walked away from that path and opened my window. This is what I love... A wondrous scenery. The hint of glum instantly faded when I saw how beautiful the sunrise is.

    This is what I call magical and incredibly insane. Something that can take my heavy breaths away. Just like what I always feel when I enter my own world— In the world of lucid dreaming.  

Flashback 

    One big door. One big escape. I bustled near the door and clamped my lips. The feels of excitement hits me. This is it. 

    Once I opened it, I'm finally free. This sole place where nightmares and fears has no room. I held the doorknob and left a sigh before twisting it. 

    My eyes flew open the moment I heard the muffled sound of that big door. And that's how I regain my strength, by visiting my hidden memories. Those that I'll forever treasure. I felt relieved now that I know I'm in my lovely dreams. 

    Swirled by the wind, swayed by the ocean and taken by time, that was me right now. Slowly and perfectly the singing voices of the birds registered to me. I heard them lull a song and it refreshes my troubled mind.  

     Here, I have everything. I own my time and moods. No one could interfere unless I ordered my mind to allow them. No intriguing gasps, no useless humors, no toxic people living and of course no such thing as a cruel reality. I'm free.  

     How I love to take a glance at my wonderful university. A shining metal was designed infront of the school and has 'Lucid Academy' engraved on it. I hastily ran towards the gate, panting.

 "I missed this place" I suddenly mumbled. 

    Pieces of majestic structures, soothing sightings, and a lot more definition to complement but trust me... The woman sitting on that swing is more beautiful. She looks surprised by my presence just then she swayed the swing slowly. 

    I was welcomed with her warm smiles and open arms. This is what I call home. This is what I hope for future bloom, I knew it because this time nothing looms on my mind. Her flowy hair made me feel the softness of her heart. Her eyes that's screaming for love and passion, her nose looking so perfect as it complement her pretty face. Aside from that, her thin arch-shaped lips makes the most genuine smile I've ever seen.

    I embraced her and she giggled as if my hugs felt tickling. I wish this is true. No one knows how much I missed her. To hug her in real life and hear her hum for new songs whenever I feel sad. I just can't help to miss those days. The best days of my life are finally gone. In a snap, she took it with her. The day she died is also the day he took all the happy baggage of my life. And do you know what I'm mourning for? She didn't take me with her. She has left me with so much to handle. 

 "How I missed my sweet girl. How are you, dear?" she guided me to sit beside her on the swing. 

A heavy sigh came out. "Mom... It's so hard, please just come back"  

    I tried to hold my tears back but I know I have no power to do it now. It hurriedly cascade like a free flow of water from the falls. No control. Just making their way down. Her mood switched and she wiped my heavy tears with her fingers. That delicate fingers of hers. 

"No, dear. Hold on please. Promise me you'll fight. Just be with your father now." she mumbled. A deafening silence entered and I can't even notice the hum of the birds that I once created on my mind. This is my world. I can do anything I want. Holding the power over the surroundings is pretty awesome, but just in this lucid dreaming. 

"No, dear. Hold on please. Promise me you'll fight. Just be with your father now." she mumbled. 

    A deafening silence entered and I can't even notice the hum of the birds that I once created on my mind. This is my world. I can do anything I want. Holding the power over the surroundings is pretty awesome, but just in this lucid dreaming. 

    Mom and I just held hands till the sunset takes its moment. A breathtaking scenery I'll never get tired to watch. "He misses you so much." I whispered through the thin air.  

    The place seems so dull at this time so I decided to put some things in. In a snap of my fingers what's in my mind really came here. There were already children playing on the playground. Genuine smiles are so evident in their innocent faces. Giggles. Funny screams. Forehead sweats. Jolly atmosphere. Oh, I couldn't wish for more. How I love to see them playing. With their fresh and happy mindset. Play here, play there... Play everywhere. I envy them for taking life so easy. 

    “Oh, my dear princess you know that I misses him so much too. I've spent countless days thinking and mourning for the both of you. I wanna go back to life and hug you both and stop the feud between but everybody knows a dead person can never do it." she answered. 

    I nodded sagely. I know. I know that even from the start but I didn't seem to think about it when all I have everyday is my endless hope. Poor me. 

    After another small talk with her, I hugged her goodbye and continues to walk along the peaceful town of my lucid dream. I snatched another gaze at her before I turned my back. Mom gave me a cheekish smile, that was hella cute and I miss that. She's currently arranging the flowers to the basket right now, according to her it makes her feel relaxed everytime. 

    Tall trees were dancing by letting itself be swayed by the wind. The road was clear and I found nothing in it but the dried leaves coming from the moving trees right here. I can hear the crisp of the leaves as I walk straightly along the road. I sniffed the fresh air I created. This is what my soul wants. This is where my mind should unwind. To a place where I can control and filter any matter. 

    I went to the park where I once met somebody. Somebody I can't call mine today, but here in my world I believe he's mine still. Don't mind those hindrance and judgments. They are not here anymore. I won't let them stop us, because here we are free. "Leanne" a husky voice called. 

     My body stiffened. He's here. He's finally here. I turned to him frostily but the coldness easily fade off the moment our eyes met. Smile would creep out on our faces, somehow making my heart erratic heartbeats.