Two Steps Behind

CHAPTER 10

Standing in a full-length mirror while squeezing my waist, measuring its size by my hands, I wonder what exactly the waistline was to be called a sexy yet normal body and not severely waisted. I squinted my eyes across the mirror then looked down on my waist. I thought it was 26 inches now since I ate a lot earlier and it added at least two inches width, I guess. 

I pinched my belly and stretched it forcefully on both sides trying to see how I look at a bigger size. I scrunched my face in disgust as I imagined myself like a cartoon character like Winnie the Pooh or any of the trios from We Bare Bears. I also tried blowing my face and pressed my chin on my neck to create a double chin. Well, chubby cheeks are far better than having a double chin. 

"Blythe, I baked some cookies. Do you want some?" I turned my head on the door when I heard Lexie's voice outside. 

I jutted my bottom lip down then battled myself whether to eat or not. Lexie teased me earlier that I was affected by Raven's opinion on my looks that's why I thought that way. Well, it's kinda true. He's a man and men can tell if the woman looked stunning or not. Unfortunately, Raven was a kind of guy who spoke frankly. The only guy told me that I am ugly! 

When Lexie calmed herself from laughter, she told me that I am beautiful and sexy. But… She somehow agreed on Raven's opinion making me think that I am slowly losing my elegance because of my weight. 

"Give me some, please. And… An orange juice!" I replied in a loud voice, enough for her to hear. 

"Copy! I'll be back in a few minutes!" she answered before I heard footsteps slowly fading away. 

I returned my eyes on the mirror still with my white loose shirt and blue floral pajama which usually gave me comfort at night. Yeah, weird as it is. I wear elegant stylish outfits outside the house and look like a bystander when I'm alone at home. No brasier, most of the time. 

I placed my hands on my waist then heaved a loud sigh before I plopped myself on my room's simple blue sofa. With a lot of frustration, I grabbed my phone placed on my side and browsed some ways to gain weight on the internet. 

Well, there are really instances that a person hardly gains weight, especially those who have a high metabolism, family history of low BMI and sickness. But in some cases, there are people who have an eating disorder called Anorexia Nervosa wherein they are afraid to gain weight and think that they look better if they look thin… I'm a bit guilty about this. But, I am sure that I don't have any disorder! In solution to that, eating a lot and more often, using bigger plates, don't drink water before meals, enough sleep and everything would help to improve a person's weight.

I was taken back to the real world I was in when Lexie called me outside my room. "Blythe, are you there? Can you hear me?" I raised a brow. 

"I'm here! Just come in!" 

"Please open the door. I think it was locked," she responded. I scratched my head then lazily stomped my feet towards the doorway. I forget that I locked the door earlier as I am worried that she might see my stupidity here inside. 

"I'm coming, Lexie. Hang on," I spoke. 

As soon as I reached the doorknob, I immediately twisted it and pulled the door open. There I saw Lexie holding a tray while grinning. 

"Strange of you locking the door," she commented as we stepped our heel inside my room.

"What's strange about that? It's my room, my privacy. I could lock it whenever I want," I defend. 

"Unless you're crying or doing something you don't want me to see," she chortled. 

I smirked at her and shook my head. "You thought it wrong. I was just browsing on my social media and I didn't know that I accidentally locked the door earlier," I plopped myself on the sofa. "Don't overthink things out, Lex." I continued with a forced laugh. I must precede her from teasing me. I know that kind of tone already, ready to attack and annoy me. 

She just shrugged her shoulders and sat next to me taking a gulp on her pineapple juice. I took a glance at her before taking a bite on the cookies she had prepared. A smile suddenly made its way to my lips when I tasted the usual soft and sweetly backed specialty of Lexie. She could've made it as a business. It was not like others which crunch every bite you made which sometimes hurt my teeth, gums and occasionally, my head because of the crunchy sound. 

"Blythe, I heard that your parents will be back here in a month or two." My eyes suddenly widened in shock while the cookies I was eating were stuck in my mouth. Where and when did she hear that? My parents mentioned nothing to me. I slowly turned my right to get the full view of her who was leaning her back on the seat then I raised a brow as a question. 

"I just heard it in a coffee shop last day. It was a normal sunny day when the manager was anxious and yelling about the staff's performance, the product and everything. Then, out of curiosity, I eavesdrop. I heard him telling the other staff 'We should think for a better marketing strategy and improve everything because Mr. And. Mrs. Martinez will be back and will visit here this month or after,'" she said casually in one breath with a mimic voice on the manager she mentioned. 

"There are lots of Martinez in the world. Maybe they are referring to another Martinez," I deadpanned. My parents? Would come back next month? I won't assume. That's vague, new and strange. If they would say that they'd be back next year or in the next five years, maybe I would believe that. 

Imagine, they were this month in just a few days and expected they would return next year or the other year. I am used to it. 

"Adrie's Coffee. Still doubting that?" I stared at her with a blank face. 

Adrie's Coffee was our shop, named after me, located in the city. A few kilometers away from our home. My mom told me that I love drinking coffee more than milk. That was why they built a coffee shop business under my name Blythe Adrie. 

"If that was real, then great! I would be glad on that news," I answered with a smile. At least we would see each other more often. 

My room was covered with silence for a minute before Lexie spoke. 

"You know what Blythe, I admire you." I looked at her, confused. "I admire you because you are not like other wealthy ladies who are a spoiled brat, who hang out everywhere, those rebel children who spend their money on nonsense things and most of all you do not hate your parents from being absent on your side most of the time."

I inhaled deeply and exhaled heavily before I leaned on my seat, rested my head on the headrest then stared at the white wide ceiling. 

"I admit, all of those ideas came across in my mind. To do bad things for them to pour all their attention to me. But as time passed by, I realised that it would bring no good to me. It's childish. Hanging out with full of bad influences. Then what? I would become miserable. My parents would hate me a lot more and worse, they would despise me. Yeah, I always think for the worst," I chuckled. "Yes, I also admit that I envied those people whose parents have their full attention. I envied everything about a complete family. But, the more I grew up, the more I tend to understand my parents. They love what they are doing and I love them, I must understand them also that everything they did was only for me."

I sighed. "Though they are not always on my side, I know that they love me. They love me more than anything and anyone else. I could feel it through their support of me. They never failed to let me feel that they are still there though time and distance separates us," I smiled bitterly. "Lexie, I sometimes hate my parents for everything but I always fought to it," then I shifted my view at her and held her shoulder. "Because… because you taught me to think about maturity. You took care of me so well like my real sister. And… I couldn't ask for more. I may feel empty most of the time but I just realised that it was childish. I must love myself and appreciate everything so that I would not feel empty anymore."

I lifted my view at Lexie who was now drying her eyes. I chuckled while watching her. "What's wrong with you?" I asked between my laugh. 

She immediately encircled her arms to me making my heart leap a moment. "You're making me cry!" she complained. I giggled while rubbing comforting circles around his back. 

"I never thought of you thinking that way, Blythe. I must be thankful that you are seeing me as a sister. I'm lucky to work on you," she said between her hiccups. 

"Nah. You're a good person Lexie. You have a lot of patience with me. You took care of me so well. You are always there for me and I love you for that," I answered her sincerely. She was worth the recognition though.