A Voice she never found

Chapter-1

THE CRACKS BEGIN

I was sitting in the classroom and doodling until the bell rang and everyone ran toward the dance hall. It was our dance lecture, my favourite one. I had always been so good at dancing that at every event or function my dance teacher would make me stand at first as a main dancer. I remember my Best friend being jealous of me always being in front. She would say that I gain sympathy of all teachers by letting them know that I don't have a mother and my dad is a single parent. That's why our dance teacher makes me the main dancer not because I was a good dancer but because I don't have a mother. I still laugh at thinking and recalling all those moments. My mood turned off while stepping on the last stair of the entrance of the dance hall when I saw a poster of an upcoming event. what event? I should be happy that I'll again be the main dancer. No God! Not this time. I don't want to perform as a main dancer in this celebration. "Have you purchased a gift for your mom or not?" A voice disturbed my thoughts. "Well no , I'm planning to make a card for her." My classmates were talking about gifting their mother's something. It was a mother's day. Yes, I was doubtful that my best friend's words will become true. This time my teacher will make me the main character not because I dance well but because I don't have a mother and I'll be the best to fit in a role for that."Good afternoon students", Teacher entered the hall while listening to a playlist. " So I'm preparing a dance performance for mother's day where we'll try to depict the scene of a child living without her mother." I lost my mind and bowed my head to not make an eye contact with my teacher. Still she came to me and said that "Gracie, you'll be that child." I was so lost in the thoughts and my best friend's words hurted me so hard that I forgot that my dance teacher knew nothing about my family. She just came 4 months ago to the school and never knew anything about me and my family. After remembering, I stood up confidently knowing that she chose for my talent but not for my circumstances. We are performing and she tells meto cry when I see my mother for the first time. That girl acting as my mother came to me and hugged me , started acting and fake cried. My hands went numb. I was so young to feel that feeling that went through my nerves and bones. I felt she's hugging me and telling me she missed me just like I missed her. I cried and told her how hard it was to live without you. How hard was it for me to learn the word Mom and knowing I don't have one. I ugly cried and hugged her even tighter. I blamed her for leading me in this harsh world where I'm being bullied and tortured. I missed you Mom, I missed you so much. Everyone in the hall started clapping when I acted so real and even said things out of the script. My teacher came to me and said " Dear Gracie, I never knew you were such a great actor too." I cleaned my eyes to not let her know that I wasn't acting at all. My biggest talent ever is that I can hide my pain and tears every time I want to. However, she wasn't that dumb to not notice that I wasn't fake crying. She came to me and held my chin with her slim long fingers. They were cold . I saw her hands this closely for the first time. She looked into my eyes deeply. I could feel her going deep into my soul through my eyes. She wanted to know what's wrong with me. "You can share what's bothering you". She said expecting me to share what happened. Tears fell off my eyes , I cleared my cheeks with my little soft hands. I nodded my head into a NO. "Everything is fine." I said explaining myself. "Then why is my baby crying like this?" She rubbed my back and made me feel comfortable into her arms. Her perfume was delicious, kind of a woody flavour. "I just went into emotions. I'm totally fine." "What happened, darling? tell me what's bothering you." Actually I don't have a mother, imagining all those things made me cry and burst out." " I'm so sorry to hear this love. What happened to her where's she?" I cleared my cheeks with my wet hands. " My parents divorced when I was 6 months old. I just went emotional while acting and actually felt being held by my mother. I'm fine. It was just some emotions." She was surprised to hear those words from a 7 year old kid. She hugged me even tighter to let me know she's here for me. She loves me. All of a sudden, interrupting us both bell rang and whole class rushed to the classroom. She was silent and in a shock for some reason. Maybe thinking about my maturity and that I never told anyone about these feelings. Maybe imagining me living in my house without a mother, surviving or doing regular chores without my mother. She stood up and kissed on me my forehead. I picked up my stuff and walked out of the hall.