A Recipe for Starting Over

Chapter 2- What’s Next

I hope he lives well, tho, cause all I ever even wanted was him and was for him to love me, and I actually thought he did.

Why does he suddenly want a divorce?

“Wait, you’ve not signed the papers yet?”

“No, I’ve not. He hasn’t given me the papers yet; he just brought it up.”

“Wait, so you guys are still practically married?”

“I thought you had signed the papers already, and that’s why you decided to come over.”

“Oh no, I haven’t. I just told you he said we should get divorced, and I didn’t tell you we were divorced.”

“So are you guys getting divorced or not?”

“Well, I actually don’t know,” Lily says as she sways her long brown hair around like a little child.

“Lily, you need to make a decision about this, cause it’s serious.”

“Well, I don’t want to get divorced from the one and only boy I’ve loved my entire life, but at the same time, I can’t beg him to stay with me. For him to have wanted a divorce, he must have his reason.”

“Enough talk about him.”

“What do I do next after this marriage ends? Do you really think opening a restaurant is a smart move while I’m raising a baby alone? Who would’ve thought I would end up being a single mother? Urgghhhh, the thought alone irks me.

“Or wait, do you think he wanted a divorce because he loves someone else, or he only just fell out of love? But the marriage was doing so well. Or am I getting ugly?”

“Lily, it’s enough with these questions. And no, you’re not getting ugly. You’re the most beautiful girl I know, Lily.”

“But why would he cheat if the marriage was going so well?” Alex says. “There must really be something he’s up to, cause a normal person won’t suddenly just want space in a marriage. That makes no complete sense at all. That’s crazy, I’m not even going to lie.”

“Oh well, what happens, happens, and I can’t force him to be in a relationship with me. It won’t make any f*****g sense.

“About your cooking class… are you ready to sign up for it?” Alex says, clearly asking

Lily.

“Ummmmm, yeah, I guess, but I think I’d need to go for a pelvic ultrasound to check on the baby’s health and also just do a random check-up to check if I’m okay and all that.”

“Ohh, okay, that’s a good idea, but how about we get through the divorce first? So it’s been decided that you’re not telling him about the baby, right?” Alex asks Lily, and she nods her head in reply.

“No, don’t nod. I want you to answer the question.” “Ok, yes, Alex,” she says as she sighs.

⸻

In the hospital Nurse Rose.

“Hiii, Lily, how are you?”

Lily answers her with a faint smile, her mind scattered and she’s also nervous.

Then the nurse asked the routine questions, wrote her name into a thin folder, checked her blood pressure like this was any other morning. The doctor glanced at the result and nodded. Early pregnancy. About four weeks. Too early for a scan, she said. Everything looks normal so far. She was given folic acid and advice she barely heard— rest, eat well, come back in a few weeks. No heartbeat yet. Nothing to see, nothing to touch. Just words.

She left the hospital with a prescription in her hand and a weight in her chest, knowing she’s actually going to do this alone since her husband has suddenly decided to leave her alone with the weight of the pregnancy. The pregnancy was real. Quiet. And suddenly irreversible. And then it hits her—she’s actually all alone.

While driving, Lily suddenly parks her car near a pharmacy to get some medicines prescribed to her by the doctor, and then after buying it, she bursts into tears. Not because she was sad or anything, but because the reality of being pregnant suddenly hits her, and she just starts crying and bawling her eyes out till she goes home to Alex.

Alex sees Lily’s eyes are red and her face swollen, and she instantly gets worried and anxious. Then she asks, “Lily, what’s wrong? What’s going on? Why’s your face swollen, and why do you look like that? What’s the issue?”

Immediately, Alex stops with the questions. Lily runs to hug her and instantly starts crying in her arms.

“Lily, stop crying, baby. Talk to me. What’s the problem? Who hurt you?”

“Alex, I don’t know if I can do this. It’s going to be so overwhelming, Alex. I don’t know if I can cope without Mark. I know I’ve been acting all strong and acting like it’s not affecting me, but Alex, I’m done with the tough-guy act. Alex, it’s overwhelming, and I don’t think I can do this. Are you sure I should keep this baby? I don’t know if I can do this without him.

“Alex, you know how much Mark meant to me. Ten years trying to get him, just for him to suddenly want to leave me,” Lily says as she sniffs and blows her nose into Alex’s shirt.

“Lily, baby, it’s okay. You don’t have to cry, baby. Sorry, baby, I thought you said you wanted to keep the baby.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to be a good mother, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that aspect, Alex,” Lily says, sobbing, her face clearly red and swollen from the tears.

“It’s probably the pregnancy hormones affecting you. Lily, if you know you don’t want to be a single mother, you can talk to Mark about co-parenting.”

“No, I don’t want him to ever know about this pregnancy or this baby,” Lily says, clearly complicating her own words.

“Lily, baby, it’s okay. I can also be with you throughout this pregnancy, and I promise to be with you through every stage of this baby. I promise to always be there for you,” Alex says as she presses a kiss to her best friend’s swollen face, then brings out her phone to take a picture of how big and red her face looks, laughing.

“No, no, Alex, what are you trying to do?” Lily says as she sniffs and laughs at the same time.

“Are you trying to take a picture of me?” Lily asks as she tries to cover her face so Alex won’t be able to take a picture, cause she knows if Alex takes the picture, she’s not going to hear the end of it.