LOOKING TROUGH YOUR EYES

CHAPTER 8

They got home, it was time to do homework. Sheryl changed her clothes and left everything in the laundry basket, as usual, she started to do her chores immediately. Lindsey was going through the pockets of all the clothes before putting them in the washing machine, but she was somewhat distracted. That day everything seemed to be going perfectly, her daughter was happy, she’d talked to Emma, at work she’d realized that there was a guy who liked her, and she also liked him, she had never before realized how cute he was. His name was Mike, he was a couple of years younger than her, he was tall and had brown eyes, he had a dark complexion and black hair, always disheveled by the wind. You could tell he was doing sports, he had a broad back, he even looked like a model; but what she liked the most was his eyes ... those deep eyes, he had an innocent and smiling look like that of a child, but when he got serious, his eyes became firm and sure. He had a deep but tender voice, it was one of those voices that give you strength when you need it, but are complicit in your jokes and celebrations. She didn't understand how she had overlooked this guy for so many years. Mike had joined the company as an intern when Sheryl was 2 years old, and was given a position right next to Lindsey. Last year they had offered him a promotion, he would be the new image manager, but he had to travel to the company's headquarters in the city. He declined the offer, everyone asked him why, but he gave no explanation. Lindsey recalled him asking her for advice one night when the two of them were working late on a project for a new product for the doll line.

-          Excuse me - she heard in her memories - I know we don't talk much and in fact we’re not very close, but ... may I ask you for advice?

-          Sure, tell me…

-          Today they offered me a promotion, they told me that I would be the new image manager in the company, but I have to travel to the city to handle everything from the main headquarters. The point is, I grew up here and the truth is, my mother died last year, the only thing I have of her are the memories in these streets ... do you think I should reject the offer or accept it?

-          Well, I think you have to prioritize. That position is a great opportunity in your career, opportunities like that don’t appear twice in life. If you miss the town, you can come visit from time to time, but that opportunity won’t be available forever ...

-          I know, but ... there is something else - he said with a trembling voice

-          what else?

-          Well ... I don't know how to say it ... it's just ... there's this girl who ... well, she would never listen to me. I've been trying to make her notice that I also exist for almost 10 years, she doesn't even realize when I'm standing next to her. She’s the most beautiful girl, but there’s something in her eyes, I can see in her eyes something like… it seems that she is tired of life, when she laughs, it seems that her soul is turned off; her smile is beautiful, she’s always very attentive and kind to people, she’s intelligent and I’d say that she’s the best at whatever she does, she’s a single mother and tries to always be smiling in front of people and, especially, in front of her daughter. You can see that she loves her very much ... but I know that I could fill her world with happiness, that’s all I really want, I’d like her to notice my presence, to give me an opportunity to show her that I can restore the color to her days, I would like ...

-          Wow, it all sounds very nice - she said, interrupting him, she was in a hurry, she knew that her daughter was waiting for her at home - but if she doesn't realize what you feel, I think you should tell her, talk and express what you feel. Let her help you make the decision, what's more, maybe she wants to go with you, because it is a great opportunity huh.

-          I have already told her, on more than one occasion, I don't know if she’s avoiding me ...

-          Well, if there’s no chance for her to listen to you, I think you should go to town. Anyway, there you can meet more people, maybe you will fall in love with someone who corresponds to you. As I repeat, it’s a great opportunity that they have offered you.

-          So, should I stop trying to win her over? - he said as his voice broke, as did his heart - do you really believe that? Would you ... go to the city?

-          Yeah, I think you should put your own interests above a girl who doesn't even seem interested in you. And no, I couldn't leave town, I have a daughter and ... well, she has little friends here, not many really, but I think that forcing her to change her environment could hurt her, she’s been through a lot and ... - she paused briefly - well, the point is that ... I think you should take advantage of that opportunity

-          Well, thanks for the advice - he said almost sighing - should I really let her go?

-          Well ... if you really love her that much, then I suppose it would be a mistake to try to forget her. But think things through ... if she’s really worth it, then you must stay and fight for her love; otherwise I recommend that you don’t hesitate to accept the promotion.

-          Thank you, I'll think about it - he said as he lowered his gaze - it's already too late, the buses won't pass, I noticed that you didn't bring the car today, do you want me to take you home?

-          Mmm ... thanks, but I don't want to bother, I'd better take a taxi ... - At that moment, she felt someone watching her, she felt fear, she felt the watchful gaze of something on her shoulders. She regretted having rejected the offer. However, to her surprise, Mike asked again.

-          are you sure? It’s cold and it’s dangerous to be waiting at this hour in the street

-          Well thank you very much. Shall we leave? - she said somewhat uneasy

They took their coats and went home.

All of this had happened a year ago, at that time, Lindsey hadn’t noticed anything; but now, she remembered even the smallest detail. She felt guilty, she couldn't understand why Mike decided to stay, even after what she told him. It hadn’t been her intention to be so cold, but she seemed to have been on automatic pilot for so long, she had a blindfold that didn’t allow her to notice the beautiful details that that boy had had with her, all the smiles that day after day at the office, the coffees he invited her when she needed to talk to someone, the hours talking they'd had every time she cried for Paul. However, that very day, everything had changed. Mike had surprised her with a bouquet of sunflowers, her favorite flowers, and she had finally realized what was happening. She thanked him with a hug and a shy smile. When she hugged him, Mike shed a couple of tears, he was smiling, but his brown eyes wouldn’t stop crying.

-          What's wrong? - she asked

-          Is nothing. It's just… I never thought you'd realize that I exist… thank you! - He said while wiping his eyes.

Without realizing, Lindsey had already put all the clothes in the washing machine, she hadn’t checked any pockets, she had even mixed white clothes with colored clothes and nightwear. She had to get everything out again, and this time she found the necklace in Sheryl's pocket. It looked dull, it was still golden, but the sunflower in the center seemed sad, it felt like it was uprooted, she had never seen the necklace like that before. She immediately took it to her daughter, who was already finishing her homework.

-          Daughter, why did you take off your necklace?

-          Ah, that ... before answering, can I ask you a question? Who gave me the necklace?

-          We never really knew; why do you ask?

-          It’s very strange; every time I'm with Jair, it changes color, turns blue and…. well, Jair said he saw the bee come out of the collar. At first I thought he was confused, but you know ... I haven’t seen more bees; it only appears when we’re together ... really strange things happen ...

She told her in detail what had happened at the break, before meeting Jair. Lindsey admitted that she didn’t know who gave her the necklace, but she told her everything that had happened with Alice, she told her that something similar had happened to her, just before separating from Paul; she never knew whose voice it was, but it sounded true, pure and innocent like that of an angel.

-          I don't know why these things happen to us, little girl. But it was always like this, from before you were even born, exactly one day before, something very strange happened, it was the wake of Melany's first husband, I can no longer remember his name ... but, there was this little boy, Ethan I think his name was ... - At that moment, the necklace that was still in Lindsey's hands, lit up for a few seconds. They were both surprised, but she continued with the story - he was just over a year old and he wouldn't stop crying, his mother brought him to me because the boy was pointing at me, I took him in my arms and he calmed down immediately. The next day, minutes after you were born, we found out that the child had died ...

She kept telling the story with all the details she could remember. Sheryl was surprised, she couldn't believe there was so much history behind that beautiful necklace. Anyway, nothing bad had ever happened to her because of the necklace, well, discounting Jair; she put on her necklace and continued doing her homework. Lindsey went back to finish the laundry. They both finished with what they had to do and decided to watch a movie. It was a romantic comedy, and right at that moment, they were both very satisfied with the movie.        

-          Mommy, what happened to Melany before she met dad? - She paused for a bit trying to rephrase her question - well ... after her first husband, because I've heard that some people don't say nice things about her

Lindsey was surprised by her daughter's question. She explained that no one knew for sure what had happened to her, one day she just went on a trip. However, she would appear sporadically with a man, usually married, to the surprise of more than one person, since all the wives, now widows, assured that their husbands were faithful, loving, attentive, respectful ... well, good people, but they changed from one day to the next and were found in a bar or park, hugging Melany, they defended her and several marriages were destroyed that way.

-          But it was different with your father - she said, pausing to try to remember - I think one days he called him and ... from that day he just wasn’t the same, he seemed like a zombie, he hardly ate, he stayed in bed all day, but wouldn’t sleep at all, he would stare at the ceiling. When he stood up, he just moved like a machine. They were somewhat difficult days, it was at that moment that I met Alice, because just in those days we noticed the little mark on your right hand, that rose petal that resembles a little heart, I was very worried because, as I told you, when Ethan passed away, his parents realized that he had a little wound on his right hand, a little wound that wasn't there before, just like your little mark

-          Well, then, do you think my little brand has something to do with the necklace and the voice?

-          I don’t know. The truth is that it’s very strange you know, Alice didn’t explain everything to me in detail, but she told me something about her son still protecting her, that’s why we must listen to the voice, it warned me to be careful with Melany and recommended that I separate from your father.

-          Wow ... do you think it was the right thing to do?

-          Oh my girl, I don't know. I’ll never know what may or may not have happened. But I think we're fine now, don't you think?

-          yes! You're right

It was already 10 at night, both were exhausted, it had been a day full of emotions. They went to rest. But Lindsey couldn't sleep, she kept thinking “it's strange” she said “all the gentlemen who were with Melany died in a very short time, I can't believe that Paul is still with her. Almost 10 years have passed”. In her dreams, she met Mike, she saw all the years he’d been waiting for her like a movie. It was a good dream. Sheryl also dreamed, hugging the little pink moon that Jair had given her that day; in her dream there was Jair, the two of them were together, alone at school, all of a sudden, she heard the voice that called her: “don't go away. I'm here for you” they both looked for the origin of the voice, but they couldn’t find it. They hugged each other tightly and the school faded, they closed their eyes and when they opened them, they were in a huge field, full of daisies. Little animals appeared everywhere, they scampered and circled around her, the little birds sang and seemed to lull them with their songs ... another perfect closing for a perfect day.

The next day, they both woke up full of energy, they had really liked their dreams a lot, but they were even more excited about what could happen in real life. They left home very early, Sheryl had the necklace hidden, since she’d understood that it was necessary for her to take it with her, but she didn’t want it to cause problems again in the middle of those magical moments she spent with Jair. Lindsey had arranged herself very well, she had put on a new perfume, she smelled of spring; she also had a light lipstick, which highlighted her eyes. And they both really wanted the day to continue, they felt like they were in a fairy tale, writing their destiny in indelible ink, they liked the way things were going.

They arrived at school, there weren’t many children yet, Sheryl got out of the car, said goodbye to her mother with a kiss, and went to her classroom. As she walked, she thought how nice it would be to meet Jair in the yard, like the day before. At that moment, the voice came back: "don't do it" he said as if begging.

-          who are you? Did you give me the necklace? Where are you? - Sheryl questioned immediately - and ... what should I not do?

-          Hide ... hide the necklace

-          But, answer me. who are you?

-          You'll find out soon enough, but please don't hide the necklace

-          Well ... I'll listen to you when I know who you are, you never answer my questions - at that moment, Sheryl realized that the children were looking at her strangely, they thought she was talking to herself - now because of you they think I'm crazy, I won't answer you again...

-          Are you okay Sheryl? - Said a well-known voice

-          Hi Jair! - She said excited - yes, I'm fine. It's just ... well, how are you?

-          Well, thanks ... the truth is, I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful the afternoon was yesterday; you know, it's strange ... it had never happened to me before - said the boy blushing - but ... tell me, who were you talking to?

-          Well ... - Sheryl was undecided, she thought the time had come to tell him the truth - but, it's a long story ...

The bell rang, it was time to go to class.

-          See you at the break - said the girl as she went to her classroom and waved her hand as a sign of farewell

-          Okay - Jair replied somewhat confused.

Was she angry? Had he done something wrong? Why was she avoiding him? Jair thought for a moment, then the teacher came and took him to class. Already seated in his place, he began to recreate the scene he had just experienced, he wanted to know if Sheryl was really angry; but he noticed something even stranger ... in his hand, when she said goodbye, he could see a little mark ... it looked like a heart? Had someone drawn it? Was that the reason she didn't want to talk to him anymore?

-          Mr. Jair, I asked you to read page 15, didn't you hear me? - said the teacher interrupting his thoughts

-          Excuse me, miss - said the boy as he took out his book

He began to read and classes continued normally. However, he couldn’t get out of his head that something strange was happening with Sheryl, he didn’t want to believe that she was changing him for someone else so soon, only the day before they had enjoyed so much together ... it was impossible for her to have faked it, and it was less likely that she forgot so soon, right? ... that was what he wanted to think, but was uneasy.

While all this was going on, Lindsey had already arrived at her work, she was ready to apologize to Mike, she knew she had to, after so many years of ignoring his presence. When he arrived, he greeted her politely and said:

-          I know it may seem a bit rushed, but ...

-          Before you say anything - she interrupted – there’s something I need you to know

Mike changed his expression, he was uneasy, worried; he thought she'd ask him to walk away, he feared the worst

-          It's nothing bad - Lindsey said seeing the expression on his face - it's just… I wanted to apologize, for so many years, you always supported me, you were there for me when I needed you the most, you told me a million times how you felt. I know it seemed like I was ignoring you, but trust me, I really didn't realize it, it's weird… it was like having a blindfold for all these years. I'm really sorry, it’s something that I’ll never be able to explain, there was simply something that didn’t allow me to see things as they are, believe me, I have no words to express how sorry I am ...

His brown eyes filled with tears, a beautiful smile spread across his lips and he said with a slightly broken voice:

-          You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should thank you for realizing it in the end. You have no idea how much I dreamed of this day, really ... I was always looking at you, I didn't want you to feel obligated, I know that you’re always looking out for your daughter, and that’s something admirable, but I think that you should also worry about your own happiness from time to time... and I would be very honored to be a little part of that happiness - he said as he whipped his eyes

Lindsey was moved, that was another of the things that she liked so much about him, despite looking like someone rough, he was very sensitive, he was also very tough when she needed to be comforted, but when they were in moments like this, he had the fragile and innocent soul of a child. She hugged him tightly. "thanks for always being with me. Thank you for your attention and kindness during all this time. I promise you that we’ll never be so distant again” she whispered in his ear. Mike hugged her back, they couldn't believe it, they seemed to be in paradise, Lindsey felt safe and protected, Mike felt complete and at peace, they both felt they could achieve anything if they stayed together. Co-workers began to arrive and form a crescent around the couple, Mike and Lindsey noticed this and they let go somewhat embarrassed. Each one returned to their work stations and the day continued normally.

At school, during the break, Jair ran to look for Sheryl, but he couldn't find her, he asked her friends and none of them knew where she was.

-          As soon as the bell rang, she ran out, but she didn't tell us where she was going - they all told him - but maybe she's in the infirmary, she felt a little bad in class

-          OK thank you very much

The boy immediately went to look for her in the infirmary, but couldn’t find her. He was walking around the playground, through the corridors and even walked through all the classrooms. The break ended and he hadn't been able to find her. He decided to leave her a note, he ran to his classroom and, on a notebook page, he wrote with his black pen: “Please, I need to know if something happened, I’ll wait for you at the playground pool at the end of classes. Please come.” He left the note on Sheryl's folder and went to class.

Sheryl had been hiding, she wasn’t ready to tell him her whole story, she thought that he’d judge her and move away from her, and she was sure that she could not bear it, she loved him so much, she didn’t want to lose him, it would be too much for her. She had already lost her father, and yet Jair had helped her to believe in the love of the world again, if he walked away from her, she might never smile again. When she entered to her classroom, she found a note, but it looked more like a love letter, it was shaped like a heart and was written in gold ink: “smile, everything will be fine, I’ll always be with you. But everything must remain secret, no one else would understand us”. She thought it was from her dear Jair, closed it and tucked it carefully between her notebooks. She was smiling, Jair had promised that they would always be together, but ... what secret was he talking about? She was a bit confused "it doesn't matter; I'll ask him later" she thought.

When classes were over, Jair ran out of the room to get to the pool first. The teacher in Sheryl's classroom took a while to give directions for the homework, as soon as she finished, Sheryl ran off in the direction of Jair's classroom. When she arrived, everyone had left, she waited a while at the door thinking that maybe he would return, but no one did. Meanwhile, Jair waited by the pool, he didn't want to believe that Sheryl would really leave him there waiting, but minutes kept passing without her appearing; his mom arrived, it was time to go home. The boy ran to the car, with tears in his eyes, sat in the back seat and began to cry.

-          what’s going on Son? - Emma asked worried

But the boy wasn’t yet ready to say it aloud, he still refused to believe that his friend no longer wanted to see him.

Sheryl was still at the door of the classroom, there were no longer any children inside the high school ward.

-          Sheryl! What are you doing here? Your mom is waiting for you at the door, I've been looking everywhere for you. Come immediately!

-          I'm waiting for ...

-          They all left, quick! Your mom has been here for a while

Sheryl, disappointed, followed the teacher to the door, where her mother was waiting. She greeted her and immediately got into the car, sat on the back seat hugging his lunch box.

-          Are you okay? Why did you take so long? - Asked Lindsey

-          It's just ... I'm a little worried, I don't know whether I should tell Jair everything. Anyway, he already noticed that the necklace changes color.

-          Do you know why it changes color?

-          Not exactly, but "the voice" told me that it is according to the state of mind, not mine, but yours. And he said something about it being almost the same because we’re supposedly connected, I didn't really understand very well ... but he never tells me who he is ... you don't know, do you?

-          No ... well, I'm not sure ...

-          What do you mean? Why didn't you ever tell me anything? I've been asking for a long time!

-          I'm not sure ...

-          who?

-          Well ... I think ... I don't know, but ... I think it could be Ethan

-          the child who died when I was born?

-          Yes, well…. As I said, I can't think of anyone else. Alice said that her son still protected her, she told me that he spoke to her ...

-          Well, that would make a bit of sense ... but why would that child talk to us? We are nothing of him, I didn’t even know him. Also, the voice told me that he gave me the necklace, how could someone who died so long ago give me something? And if it were possible, why would Ethan want to give me something?

-          I don’t know my girl; many strange things happen day after day. In any case, if you really consider Jair your friend, I think it would be fine if you tell him; but you must be sure that you can really trust him, it’s not good that strange people find out about our personal life.

The girl nodded and continued all the way home without saying a word. When they arrived, she changed her clothes and started to do her homework, but she remembered the little note that she’d kept in her books, she looked for it among all her notebooks, she shook them one by one; but found nothing. It was strange, she ran to her room to see if the little pink moon that Jair had given her hadn’t also disappeared. It was still there, on her bed, she hugged it relieved and leaned back on her bed for a moment, imagining how she could explain everything to Jair so that it doesn't seem too weird.