LOOKING TROUGH YOUR EYES

CHAPTER 17

Each one returned to their classroom in silence. Jair felt that his heart had been split in half, it was as if she’d taken a part of his soul; he spent the rest of the morning remembering the beautiful moments they’d spent together and regretting having betrayed her trust. Sheryl, for her part, felt sorry, but she could do nothing, she felt that things were no longer the same as the first day, she no longer smiled at the thought of him, she no longer felt the world stop when they hugged ... but she remembered what happened in the park, she felt butterflies in her stomach every time she thought of the kiss, in that magical moment; she remembered in detail every sensation, every thought… she was confused. When departure time came, each one took her way without saying goodbye.

In the car, Lindsey asked her:

-          how was your day? I didn't see you say goodbye to Jair ...

-          The thing is ... we decided we’ll take time to think things better

Lindsey was surprised by the maturity that her daughter was showing, she didn’t know whether to congratulate her or worry, it was strange that a girl her age spoke as if she had so much experience.

-          And ... are you okay with that decision?

-          Yes, in fact, it was my idea ...

-          I see ... will you tell me what happened yesterday in the park?

Sheryl laughed and began to tell her, she described each detail to perfection, she was excited to explain everything she’d felt, every second that she’d spent with Jair was described as golden time. When she finished, they’d arrived home.

-          Wow ... how nice everything that happened ... can I ask you something?

-          Sure, tell me

-          If you enjoyed so much that afternoon with Jair, why did you ask him for time today? I mean, all the way home you described how beautiful that experience was, also whenever you’re with him you smile and ... the truth is, you make a beautiful couple. What happened yesterday was ... an unusual problem, but I'm sure that love can overcome everything, and I think you also think like me ... so, what made you make the decision to get away from him?

Sheryl was silent, trying to think of an answer, but she didn't know it herself.

-          Mmm ... well, I don't know ... it’s just...today in the morning, I realized that everything has changed, I can't explain it, but I feel that things are different. Whenever I saw him I used to feel that I was in heaven, it was as if the whole world disappeared in a moment, my whole world was transformed in his eyes, in his breathing, in his heartbeat; every time he hugged me, I’d listen to his heartbeat and I felt protected, loved and lucky to have him by my side ... but this morning, everything changed. Now I don't feel the same when we're close, when I think about him ... things are just not the same anymore, I can remember every detail of the beautiful moments we spent together, but I can't feel it anymore, it's like ... well, I really don't know how to explain.

Lindsey didn't ask any more questions and they went inside, had lunch, and Sheryl went to do her homework. The mother was trying to understand what her daughter was going through, but no matter how much she thought about it, she couldn't understand how it was possible for someone to feel so different from one day to the next.

Night came, each one went to sleep. Suddenly, Lindsey's cell phone rang, it was Emma. She was worried for her son, he refused to eat, and hadn’t spoken all afternoon.

-          Did Sheryl tell you what happened? Because Jair doesn't want to tell me anything ... - she said worriedly

-          Well ... she did tell me what happened ... but, you know, I think we should let them fix their problems, I don't think it’s the most appropriate to meddle, we could make things worse ... also, I think they both agreed on taking some time

-          I doubt it, Jair is devastated... tell me please

Lindsey summed up everything Sheryl had told her.

-          I see ... do you think Sheryl really thinks about going back to him? Or is she still upset?

-          Sorry, I can't speak for her. I think it's okay for them to take some time apart - she spoke calmly because she thought about the promise she made to Ethan, she also remembered what she promised to Emma, she didn't want to harm neither of the 2 boys - as my daughter said, if they can get over it this, surely they can overcome everything together, for now it’s better that they think things through and ...

-          Tell me the truth, Lindsey. Does Sheryl like someone else?

-          No, she didn't tell me about anyone else. Look, Emma, I really think we should leave them alone to solve their problems. I know they’ll find a way

-          Mmm…. Well, I don't agree, but I suppose we have no choice ... we'll talk later, good night.

Lindsey kept thinking about what just happened, she could understand Emma's concern for her son, it was logical that, as a mother, she was uneasy seeing her son sad or disappointed ... but she couldn’t do anything, she knew she shouldn’t interfere, after all, it was up to her daughter to make a final decision; she could have advised her, but she wouldn't have known what to say. She herself wouldn’t have known how to make a decision to be in Sheryl's place, Ethan was a good boy, he’d always protected them and had been with Sheryl from a very young age; on the other hand, Jair was a charming little boy, capable of brightening her day with just his presence, his hugs, with his details, his smiling eyes and his childish giggles… it was a complicated decision.

Days passed, Sheryl and Jair barely greeted each other at school. When he tried to get closer, she’d walk away with some excuse "today I have to study, tomorrow we have an exam" "I'm sorry, I promised my friend that I’d go to her house today" "better next week, Mike’s coming for lunch today” ...  and a million other false reasons. After almost 6 months, Jair stopped trying, he still loved her, but he no longer had the strength to keep trying.

Time continued to pass, each day seemed more monotonous and mechanized for Jair, he watched as Sheryl moved further and further away; he couldn't stop thinking about her, but it seemed like she’d already forgotten everything they’d gone through together… even that magical afternoon.

It took him a while, but he finally accepted it. One day, he stopped seeing Sheryl as something more than a friend, as she didn’t intend to be something else either, they became close again, but this time things had changed, they had a lot of fun being in a group, they used to go out all the weekends to play games or watch a movie, but their hearts no longer raced from being close to each other.

One-day Mike came to Lindsey's house with a puppy in his hands. It was a beautiful "norwich terrier", he had a tan fur, it was so soft that it looked like a stuffed animal.

-          But ... today isn’t our anniversary, right? - Lindsey said somewhat anguished

-          No, it's not our anniversary - Mike answered smiling - I just wanted to surprise you, do you like it?

-          yes, I love it! - She answered enthusiastically. She took the puppy and wanted to see its name on the necklace, but instead found a small coffer in the shape of a rose.

Mike took the puppy in his hands, gently removed the coffer, and knelt in front of Lindsey. She knew what he was doing, she was so nervous she felt like she’d fade any second. Sheryl was looking at them from her bedroom window, Mike had asked her to take photos to immortalize the moment.

-          will you marry me? - He asked as he opened the coffer, revealing a beautiful gold ring with a sapphire in the center.

Lindsey's eyes filled with tears, she was as excited as a teenager, she felt her heart leap out of her mouth because of how hard it was beating. She couldn't articulate a word, but the joy could be seen in her crystalline eyes.

-          yes! - She finally answered, just before hugging Mike. He stood up and placed the ring on her finger delicately

Sheryl immediately ran downstairs, took a couple more photos of them, and began to play with the puppy.

-          what shall we call it? – she asked smiling

-          You choose, princess - said Lindsey, who was still beaming with joy at the proposal.

That day Lindsey and Mike went out for a walk, dropping Sheryl at the Walkers' house. It’d been a long time since the last time Sheryl and Jair were alone, they usually went out in a group, she was a bit nervous, but didn’t complain, since she knew that that day was special for her mother.

-          Good morning Mrs. Walker - she greeted shyly as soon as they arrived

-          Hi Sheryl, since when are you so formal? Don't worry… consider me your friend - she said winking at her - and tell me… what's your little friend's name? - She asked pointing to the puppy.

-          Thank you. I don't know yet ... Mike brought her home today

-          Yes, your mother told me how things happened ... how are you? Do you like the idea of Mike being your new dad?

-          yes! - Sheryl said determined - Mike returned the smile to Mom's face; whenever they’re together I can see that mom is happy, her face lights up and her eyes start to shine, it's almost magical how she looks when ... - at that moment, she saw Jair coming down and remembered how things used to be between them, she realized she was describing what used to happen to her every time she thought about Jair.

-          Are you okay, Sheryl? Looks like you've seen a ghost - Emma said as she turned to see what was behind her - ah, Jair, I forgot to tell you ... Sheryl will stay with us today ... Mike proposed to Lindsey! - She said excitedly – they’ll go to celebrate ... do you want to go out to play or you’d prefer to stay at home?

They both exchanged glances, they felt something strange, something they hadn't felt in a long time. Neither answered, both waited for the other to decide.

-          Guys! What's wrong with you, I asked you a question - said Emma making signs to get their attention

-          Excuse me, hmm ... I think it’s up to you, I’m fine with whatever you decide

-          Same for me ... better you decide, mom

-          Mmm… these guys! - Emma exclaimed laughing - well ... I have to go out to do some shopping in a moment ... what do you think about we first name the dog and then you accompany me to the supermarket?

They both nodded their heads.

-          Sheryl, come in please – said Emma - sorry for having you at the door for so long. And you, Jair, I didn't see you greet her, at least hold her coat

-          It's not necessary, I'm fine, thank you very much - Sheryl hurried

-          No, no… hurry up Jair!

The boy finished going down the stairs and greeted Sheryl with a kiss on the cheek almost forced, both blushed, they stared at the ground, neither had the courage to look up. Suddenly the puppy started barking and playing with Sheryl's necklace. They realized that its color had changed, it was blue again. Jair tried to ignore it, but felt his heart leap with joy knowing that Sheryl still loved him, he smiled flushed. Sheryl, for her part, tried to hide the necklace under her T-shirt. Emma noticed that the atmosphere changed in less than a second.

-          Well, guys - she said smiling - do you want to eat an ice cream while what we think of the name for the puppy?

-          Yes, please - they answered in chorus

-          Very well, go make yourself comfortable on the backyard table, I'll catch up with you in a moment - she patted her son on the back and winked at him

-          mom! - Jair muttered somewhat uncomfortable.

Emma went to the kitchen and they to the backyard, they sat around the table and stood silently, staring at the lawn, unable to look up. Emma tried to take as long as possible, so that the young couple had time alone, she knew they needed it.

-          It's been a long time since we were alone - Jair said with a nervous giggle, trying to break the awkward silence

Sheryl nodded smiling.

-          how have you been? How are things going with Ethan? – he demanded

-          everything’s fine, thanks. With Ethan? We don't talk haha… in fact, I think nothing strange happened since the afternoon that…. Well, you know…. Since that day, I think everything has been quite normal ...

Jair couldn't help but smile at her answer.

-          I'm glad. But hey, remember you can count on me if you ever need anything

-          Yes, thank you ... how have you been? Lately I saw you more distant from the group ... the last time we went to the cinema you said you were sick, but the next day ...

-          Yes, the next day I was playing soccer, I remember ... it’s just ...

-          ready! - Emma interrupted - here's the ice cream, please help yourself

Sheryl smiled, seeing the complicity of Jair's mother. He exhaled in relief, he couldn't have answered; that day, he’d said he was sick as an excuse, the truth was that he’d realized how much he missed Sheryl, he no longer wanted to continue going out in a group, as if they were simply friends, he knew that they were still more than that ....

-          may I go to the bathroom, please? - Sheryl said, leaving the puppy on the lawn – I’d like to wash my hands

-          sure. Jair, show her the way - Emma ordered

The boy showed her the way, before leaving, Sheryl took his hands and whispered to his ear: “You still owe me that answer” and left smiling nervously. She got to the bathroom and closed the door quickly, her heart pounding a thousand times an hour. She couldn't believe what was happening to her, after so long… did she like Jair again? She was sure she was completely over it, after what he’d done to her, she couldn't allow herself to blindly trust him again. But it was impossible not to get nervous in front of his eyes, it was impossible not to fall in love with his tender angel smile ... by the time she realized it, she was pacing around in the bathroom, staring at the ceiling, remembering the beautiful moments she’d spent with Jair.

-          Sheryl, is everything okay? - Emma asked - do you need something?

-          No, everything is fine, I'll get out in a moment, thank you - she said embarrassed, realizing that she was already taking too long in the bathroom

She washed her hands quickly and hurried to the backyard.

-          Sorry for rushing you that way, your ice cream is melting - Emma apologized

-          Don’t worry, thanks

-          Well guys, so… did you think of a name for the puppy?

-          They both stared, they had completely forgotten that was the reason they were gathered there. Emma giggled when no one came up with anything. They tried various names until at last it occurred to Jair:

-          I know it! What do you think of "Cassey"? He asked Sheryl

-          yes! I adore you! - She said enthusiastically – I mean, the name, I like it - she tried to correct herself immediately. Her face turned red as a tomato, she wanted to hide.

Emma and Jair laughed and continued eating ice cream. They didn't say anything more until they finished.

-          Well ... in an hour we’ll go to the mall, you have until then to play or you can start training Cassey - Emma said, lifting the glasses they’d used

Sheryl and Jair were alone again. That awkward silence returned, but luckily for both of them, Cassey broke it with her playful barks.

-          What do you think if we teach her to sit? - Jair asked with a smile

-          Sure! But hey, you still owe me the answer huh - Sheryl replied

-          okay. But before…. What you said a moment ago ...

-          No, no… forget it, I got confused…. I don't know where my head is - said Sheryl, laughing nervously - well, you'll answer me one day. We rather start teaching her right now - she said as she stood up

-          I need to check something - Jair said, taking her hands and bringing her closer to him

Sheryl immediately blushed. Jair hugged her, putting his head on her chest.

-          What are you doing? - she asked nervous

-          Shhh - he murmured - we have to stay like this, just for a minute more ... please, don't go away again

The girl didn’t hesitate and hugged him with all her strength. After so long, they both felt the magic that they’d once lost; they felt as if the world stopped in an instant; she listened to his heart beat, he felt the fragrance of her perfume; everything was perfect. Suddenly, Cassey started pulling on Jair's pants. They broke loose and laughed, spent the next hour playing with Cassey.

-          Guys, it's time to go - Emma called them – we’ll take the opportunity to buy Cassey a collar

They left immediately, Sheryl carrying Cassey in her arms, caressing her as if she was a cotton ball, while her head thought of Jair's smile. They didn't say much on the way, but Emma could see in the mirror that they were smiling at each other every second. She was very happy, it’d been a long time since she last saw her son so happy. When they got to the mall, the first thing they did was go for the collar and chain. Just as they were about to enter the supermarket, Emma received a call, it was from the bakery, someone had made a large order and they needed Emma to go back there immediately.

-          Well ... it seems that shopping will have to wait - he said to the boys - they need me in the bakery, I’d ask you to come with me, but I think you’d get bored; besides, Cassey would start playing and… what if I take you home?

-          Can't we go to the park instead? - Asked Jair

-          No, I'm sorry ... but you can play with Cassey in the yard ...

They nodded and returned home immediately. Emma left them at the door and quickly went to the bakery. Jair opened the door and bowed to invite Sheryl in, she smiled flushed and entered with Cassey in her arms. They went to the backyard, sat on the grass, and left the puppy explore on her own.

-          Do you still want me to tell you why I lied that day?

-          Yeah … what happened?

-          Well ... the truth is…. I realized we can't go on like this, I miss you too much. We’ve been through so much and ... from one day to the next, everything faded - he explained as his voice faded slowly

Sheryl didn't know what to answer, she was confused. She thought that she’d already forgotten about it all, but she also felt that she missed him, especially since that day, many memories had returned spinning in her head. She blushed and looked around, trying to find an answer.

-          I understand if you don't feel the same way - Jair said sadly, after waiting for a long moment

-          It's not that, excuse me ... it's just ... I don't know what to say ... you know, today millions of memories have returned to my head, I felt something that I thought had already disappeared ... but, I don't want us to go back to hurry. The first time it was like a movie, everything happened too fast, and I don't regret anything, it's just that ... I don't know how ... one day just ...

-          I know what happened, it was my fault. But I promise you that I’ll never betray your trust again ... I only ask you for an opportunity to show you that this time I won’t ruin everything

She was speechless again, she didn't want to say no, but she couldn't say yes either.

-          I… what do you think if… mmm… can we be just friends? I need time to think about it, I don't want to risk our friendship for something that I'm not sure yet if it will work.

-          Is that a maybe? - Jair asked smiling

-          Yes, I promise you ...

-          Okay, thanks - he said enthusiastically