18- The Real Problem
1480 Words
Anger, lust, submission, and the list goes on.
I was counting…. I think I am getting somewhere. Somewhere I didn’t want nor could I handle it.
I was lost in my thoughts the next day, trying to understand the man known as my husband who had begun to exist in the center of my thoughts since our one-night-stand.
"Come with me.” Speaking of the devil, he popped out of nowhere.
“I have prepared a surprise. A peace offering." Zayne said expectantly, his voice softening, almost melodic. He reached for my hand, his thumb stroking my knuckles.
“I don’t think I-”
"I am sorry, Kristine. I didn’t mean to stress you out,"
I wanted to refuse, but the exhaustion of the day, the weight of this forced silence- made me follow. I expected a gift, perhaps another diamond to add to my collection.
When we entered my home office, I was expecting the familiar comfort decors, things I collected from my old undesirable life but they were once and still are cherished by me.
Instead, I walked into a showroom.
What. the. f**k?
The walls had been repainted in a sterile, expensive cream. The furniture changed. All cute decors gone, replaced with lifeless ones.
Even the air smelled different- devoid of my personal scents, replaced by the sharp, cold fragrance of Zayne’s world.
"Do you like it?"
I spun around. Zayne was leaning against the doorframe, looking satisfied, like an architect admiring his finished blueprint.
Me, on the other hand, was fuming when he tried to twist my most sensitive nerve.
"Where is my stuff, Zayne? My desk? My photos? My cupcake plushie?"
My voice drifted off, eyes at the damn display and back to him with utter discontent for worsening everything.
"Where is my life?" I snarled, losing my breath, glaring at him.
"In storage.” He smiled, walking towards me with grace that simply amplified my fury.
“They didn't fit the aesthetic. They were messy, reminding you of your pain so I got them removed,"
He began to tug my hair behind my ear as an indication of tenderness only to have me hold his wrist.
"I’ve provided the best of everything. Why would you want anything from the life you left behind?" He asked in pure confusion that I found revolting.
“I want it back.” I hissed, pushing his wrist away roughly.
“Put everything exactly back to where it was until you want me to stress myself and this baby out, Zayne Nightwood.” I ordered seriously.
“I thought you had no connection left with your family and people? Didn’t you abandon the Iglesias bloodline?” He frowned, impotent to comprehend a normal concept such as ‘attachment’.
Attempting to remain calm, I breathed out, trying to explain, “I had no connections with my bloodline anymore but I still have memories, Zayne, moments I cannot erase.”
He stepped closer, hovering over me with an immeasurable seriousness, bordering with wrath, “Are you sure?”
“What do you mean?” I gulped, holding my shirt.
He was dangerously closer, eyes hardening with an eerie truth he knew but I… didn’t. His jaw clenched, hand right at my face but didn’t dare to proceed.
“Are you sure what you remember or know… is actually true?”
I gulped, backed away, hitting the table and held it for support, “...What are you trying to say?”
“Never mind.” Curling his hand in a powerless fist, he shook his head in disappointment.
“I will tell them to change it back until then, why don’t you accept a little… change?” He paused, approaching me with a hunting gaze again, picking my cupcake plushie from a hidden corner and threw it on the table.
“Why remember this damn cupcake thing Edric gave you?” He growled, slamming his hand on the table, fumes emitting from him.
My mouth gaped in disbelief, “How do you know?”
My hand extended to pick my adorably plushie but his wrist gripped mine harshly, yanking me into him, our heated bodies connecting with an eerie sensation.
“The problem is not how I know, the problem is why do you still have it when you have the ring of my name, Kristine?”
Bringing his other hand to clasp my chin, he forced me to stare at him, eyes stricken with rage, “Or are you unable to forget him?”
At first, I was incapable of responding. Staring at the jealous man in disbelief. I didn’t fight, or resisted. Staggered, I was honestly blank.
My eyes were locked onto his inscrutable ones, endeavoring to go beyond the emotions he showed and explore the ‘real’ ones.
When nothing was achieved, my body relaxed gradually, eyes narrowing with grief and an intense desire for revenge.
“If I had, this wouldn’t have hurt this much nor would I have come to you for revenge.” My voice broke, unwanted tears filling my eyes.
“I married you because he is your rival, Zayne. Not because I am incompetent as a single parent.” I accepted the truth that purloined his strength, his hands parting from my skin instantly.
“I loved Edric. This might be a game to him but I gave everything to my relationship, Zayne. It wasn’t my heart he broke, it was… Nevermind.”
Realizing if I speak further, only a miserable sobbing will emit, I stopped, I didn’t want to be miserable or weakened before him.
Covering my mouth, I muted my sobbing but my weakness became transparent through the tears coating my cheeks.
Zayne shifted his gaze away. Was it infuriating to watch his wife shed tears for her ex, or disgust for my vulnerability- I didn’t know.
After contemplating the situation, he breathed out, “I firmly believe that is exactly why we have married. To rebuild everything he broke. To start over, to move forward, with our baby.”
“I am trying, I seriously am, Zayne.” I whispered sincerely, placing my hand over his heart, “I have accepted myself as your wife but to love you… I don’t think it’s possible for now.”
My confession was surely piercing but it didn’t fade his determination. He remained perfectly still.
Forcing my teary gaze to collide with his, I only had a gentle question for him.
“...Do you love me?”
He gave a cold reply, “No. I don’t.”
“See-”
Pulling away roughly, a cracking chuckle of disappointment liberated from his lips. He was clearly frustrated.
“I am joking, Kristine! You are my wife, the mother of my child, of course I love you.”
I blinked, “No, you don’t.”
“I am doing everything for you. What else could it be if it’s not out of love?” He asked with pure bafflement, laughter dying down.
“You don’t love me, you are lying, your words are empty, Zayne. They hold no feelings, no attachments.”
“Of course, the heart-broken one knows better. What do I know? My actions or care is pointless, huh?” He scoffed, folding his arms at his chest when I simply disregarded his ‘care’.
“Do you know what’s the problem?”
Finally reaching my conclusion after my days of observation, I had my answer ready.
“You don’t know how to love in the first place.”
Zayne was immobilized, as if he was struck by lightning. His eyes went wide with an unforeseen dread. His eyes, his breaths, his very was rejecting this reality.
But, those lips didn’t dare to correct me, they simply… froze.
“You are… handling me.”
Forming a hollow smile, I stepped closer, placing my hand over his shoulder, receiving a flinch from the unshakable man.
Tiptoeing, I was near his ears, whispering the undeniable truth temptingly. The very answer behind everything.
“Throwing all emotions, lust, care, jealousy, possessiveness, dominance, affection, all at once to see which one will stick and work for you.”
He trembled. He hated how accurate it sounded. His glare was no less than a threat to not forget my limits and invade his personal space.
Feeling daring enough, I smirked darkly, “You are… pathetic, Zayne Nightwood,”
Held my arm harshly but the second I let out a deliberate, painful whimper, he let me go helplessly.
Smirking at his brief defeat, I traced the finger on the side of his face, indulging in the sight when he stood exposed and walked away after gaining my first triumph.
I had won the battle, but as I looked back, I realized the cost- I had finally seen the void inside the man I had tethered my soul to.
- Writer
