Forgetting Mellaine

Loosen the Bond

It is Sunday morning and the heat is on peak. I can sense the oozing smell I have right now and the sweats which are running down my face. The Valentine’s Day was already finished in awesome ways and now the town is back to its original setting, where people are busy with their priorities. I’m currently outside my yawn and decided to put some potted succulents and other plants. I suddenly heard some shrill giggles behind my back, turning out to see a grinning smile reflected on Amy’s face. Like a flash, gossips begin filling the thin air from her mouth with her tactless behaviour.

“Have you heard that our neighbour who is just two blocks away from us was attacked by a burglar last 5 days ago? Luckily, she was able to escape the man but she got these bruises all over her face and arms. I guessed she really fought that hard just for her to run away. I felt bad for her. She’s currently at the hospital. Yet, it’s still a blessing that she managed to escape somehow and is alive.” She said worriedly.

“Do you think the one that went inside your house and that person you’re talking about this time, is the same person behind these cases in our neighbourhood?” I asked, putting a curious look over my face.

“That’s also what I was thinking. I mean, who could supposedly that be and what is his real intention to attack the others and us?

“And oh, the officials also decided to attach some CCTVs in each corner of our streets. By then, we won’t have this anxiousness that someone might attack us at any moment and it will lessen somehow the danger lurking around.” She added as she make her curly hair into a bun.

Howard just arrived in front of us, riding with his scooter and got some paper bags behind him. I guessed he just went for groceries.

“What’s the topic for today, ladies?” He hopped from his vehicle and handed the paper bags to Amy. “And oh, Sweetie, I forgot to buy you some toilet papers. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Hon. There are still some that we can use for this week” Amy replied.

Howard looked at me and around my lawn. “So you’re into gardening now?. I wouldn’t know if you didn’t put these plants around here. Since when did you start this hobby of yours?”

As always, the curious cat side of his is now lurking around him.

“Just at this moment.”

“I see. Keep up the good work then.”

I know this hobby isn’t that good for me, since from the start, plants can barely keep their lives together with me. I’m not that friendly to them, but I needed to change my personal behaviours right now and wanted to learn new things.

“Sure.”

“Oh Honey, don’t be so curious about this young lady. Me is a sweet and a friendly person. Just take some time knowing each other, okay? I’ll be grateful if you will get along together some time.”

“I’ll be looking forward on that.” We both said.

Howard decided to go inside their house bringing with him two bottles of champagne and a box of brewed coffee.

“By the way, before I forgot. I would like to invite you for a dinner with the others. I have a surprise to tell you all.” She said and giggled. Her eyes are filled with happiness, the genuine one

“I would love to hear that. What time will you want us to come along at your house?”

“Around 6 in the evening will do. I already told France and Brandon to come along too. As for Natalia, she said that she has some important things to do with someone, but she’ll join us. Probably she will come late.”

“Hey, Amy. About Natalia… is she that type of person that will do everything just to have what she wants?” I suddenly asked, having some doubts if it was right for me to ask that question.

She rubbed her chin and thought for some time. “From what I see her, I think she’s just that competitive person in this town. Not to mention that she’s a Fartherwood. Her family is quite known for selling wine. You should try buying one from her.” She gave me a squeaky grin.

“So you’re being nosy to Natalia, my dear?” She added and chuckled.

“No. I just thought, she’s that type of person. Like…she wants some attention from anybody.”

“Well, I think you’re right. Her parents are like that too, knowing that her father will also run for the upcoming election.” Her grin grew wider. “So why are you interested with her all of a sudden?”

“She’s kind of intimidating me sometimes and more like a perfectionist person. But hey, I’m not taking some personal issues with her, okay.”

She laughed and patted me on the back and leaned on my ear.

“You’re not the only one. Keep it between us as our secret. I might be that nosy person you know, but when it comes to my closest friends, I prefer to keep off this talkative mouth of mine.” She winked.

I smiled at her. “Thank you.”

Amy helped me in arranging the pots together with the hanging plants at my lawn. They’re quite fascinating to look at. I would love to see them bloom someday. Howard was also there, picking up the dried leaves and putting them in a pit. I wonder what will Amy say this dinner.

“You know, you can always talk to us if something bothers you, Mellaine.” Howard suddenly told me as he sit on the grass just a few steps from where I am standing.

I looked at him with a curious face. “Are you sick? Now you’re showing some care for me.” I chuckled.

He smiled. “No. I’m just a psychiatrist next door.”

“Oh, well I would like to hear some lectures from you at some time.”

“What are you before, Mellaine?” He asked.

“What?” I was a bit shocked.

“I said, what are you before?” He repeated the same question.

I paused, couldn’t make a response to his question. Would it be better to tell those things that happened from the past? Knowing that he’s into that profession also, will he be a help towards me?

“You can tell me when you’re ready. And you know, I heard some from the news just few years ago about this lady who was known for killing his own husband just to take her freedom again. Do you even know her?” Howard’s eyes look intently at me, basically trying to gather some hints of despair or guilt from my soul.

“No… I haven’t heard anything.”

“I thought you knew.” He added.

It was a bit awkward for us, but one thing for sure, Howard knows something about that certain incident that happened years ago, where I was there – the wife who wanted to be set free. The thought of having someone, who had some hints of my past, makes me anxious and worried of what will happen next. The fact that it is Howard - my neighbour, a psychiatrist and most of all the husband of my friend, makes it more comfortless.

After our moment at the lawn, the couple decided to head inside their house and prepare for the dinner. I looked back at Howard as he walk through their door. Just before he opens it, he look at me straight to the eyes, giving me the chills and letting me recognize that he knows something that I’ve been hiding and that what makes me scared. Taking my composure back and to let him see that I’m okay, I smiled at him.

He stared at me blankly and didn’t say a word. Then, he chose to close their door, leaving me outside with a deep sigh. I slowly raised my head and let the cold breeze touched my skin. It was cold – like how my guilt was. Deep inside I knew, I was not the person who killed Robert. It was an accident. I picked up the remaining empty brown pots, and put them beside my door. I decided not to rub it in myself what Howard said a while ago and thought of relaxing for a moment.

I opened the fridge and saw a piece of apple. It was ripe. I headed to the faucet and washed it thoroughly and cut it into pieces. I directly went to the living room and sat. As I enjoy my own company, I realized my surrounding was to quiet. I decided to call France for a while, since it’s weekends also. Maybe she’s available and have some free time to talk. I called her over the phone, and luckily, she answered immediately.

“Hey, France. Are you going later to Amy’s?”

“Yes. I will definitely want to hear about what she will announce to us.”

“Mmm, yeah. Probably about the organization. Anyways, I wanted to talk about something with you…about me, specifically. I was thinking about this for a couple of weeks now, and you’re the only one whom I could trust with right now. Can you come over my house before dinner?” My hand was a bit shaky and started to sweat.

“Sure. I would want to hear that also, especially when it’s about you. Wait for me there before 12 noon. I’ll just prepare my clothes and I’ll go there directly, okay?” She said.

I took a sigh. “Sure, I’ll cook us lunch. Thank you, France.”

France immediately hang up the phone, which left me in preparing our lunch. I decided to stop by for a while at the convenience store to buy some milk cream, went home and settled down to make a macaroni soup for the both of us. After I get all the ingredients ready and made our lunch for almost 30 minutes, I took a ceramic serving bowl and transferred the soup and let myself admire my work. I refused to turn my gaze at the overall mess that was placed over the counters of my kitchen. Utensils, bowls, bottles and even plastic containers with seasonings scattered above the sink. My focus was diverse to some small knocks over the door, and as expected, it was France, wearing a decent smile together with her plain white dress paired with a black belt. She handed me a box of macaroons and gently placed her umbrella over the counter.

“Come in.” I led her through the living room.

“Ooh, I smell soup over there.” She giggled.

“Please make yourself comfortable on the sofa. I just finished making our lunch, and wasn’t able to get the house clean. Do you like something to drink?”

“Do you have some ice tea?” She asked.

“Yep.”

I headed to the kitchen, bringing me the box of delights she gave. I prepared our drinks and afterwards went to join her.

“Here we go.” I said, putting down a glass and sat down across her.

“Thank you. It’s so peaceful here. By this time, I might be listening to pop music over the radio.” She let a tiny laugh escaped her mouth and took a sip.

“Yeah. So how’s the café this weekend?”

“It’s the same always. By the way, that girl down the street, who is a sweeper, she’s quite asking me questions about you these days, especially when your off the duty. I was hesitant to give her some details of you, so I did what I have to do. You know, turning the current topics into new ones.”

“I barely knew her.” I remembered her name, it was Devian - Brandon used to call her that, but I didn’t remember being frightened about her. Now that she’s asking things about me, what are her intentions?

“Anyways, It obvious that I’m here because you called and had something to share. Now, spill the tea, my dear.”

My heart started to raise as if I’m in a horse track. I took a deep sigh and gathered my strength. “Have you… heard the news about a woman who killed her own husband last 2 years ago?”

She thought for a while, giving me a suspicious face while rubbing her chin as she tries to recall the incident from her memory. “Oh, yes. But…mmm… I didn’t give that much attention about that news. I remembered she was at your age, when that case happened. I forgot her name. It was like, Laine or Aine...” She paused for some seconds, and a snapped made her realized who it was. Her eyes were shocked and I could sense her breath was getting heavy. “I-it was Mellaine…A-are you--”

I directly covered her mouth with my hand. My heart was pounding. It is not really a good choice to share this to someone, but is it in a good time and a good way to lessen my burden, and somehow the guilt? France was trying to pull my hand from covering her mouth, so then I decided to loosen the grasp.

“P-please, France. Please hear me out first… I’m not the person you think I was. Just give me time to explain things with you. I was hesitant to tell someone about this, but it is heavy. Everything is heavy. And I needed to loosen up and the only person who came up in my mind, and the one I can share this is…you. I’m not a KILLER.” France was looking me as if I’m a different person. She was sweating.

“I won’t hurt you… I just need you to listen. At least, hear the side of the suspected killer of ..Robert.” I sighed and slowly decided to put off my hand from her.

I was expecting her to make some noise or even tried in getting the attention from the authority, but she was staring at me, as if she’s trying to believe and had some hopes that I’m not the person she is thinking of.

“O-okay. I’ll hear you out this time. But… promise me you won’t hurt me.” She muttered.

“I promise. And…please, don’t let anyone know about this, France. I barely got my life back.”

She nodded slowly. We both sighed. I let the silence filled me and got the courage out of my hand to share what happened last two years. This is my chance to loosen the knot and the bond I still got from Robert.

“O-okay. It’s real, I’m Mellaine that you heard from the news. I’m currently using my maiden name so I can live my life again, at least… or live on how I supposed to be. The thing is, I didn’t kill him. It was an accident. An accident that made my life changed. I was held by an abusive and possessive husband. I know the name Robert Brook rang a bell on you somehow. His family was influential. But more to that, I was a captive of his own. He wouldn’t let me do things without his permission and if it’s against his law, he would lock me inside our room. I was really grasping some air and plans in escaping the hell I was living with him. I couldn’t ask help, even to my own family and even to our neighbours, because he blackmailed me about my mom’s life, and I couldn’t take the risk.” I felt I was holding my breath and my eyes began to water.

“Oh, dear..” France held my hands.

“And, the moment I get a chance to escape him, I grabbed it. Not thinking twice, I did what I was supposed to do a long time ago. I scattered the gas I got from our kitchen at every side of our house. I was getting ready in going out, when he suddenly went back home, getting me have the panic. I wasn’t able to put his pistol properly inside my bag, letting him see it. He knew I was up to something, He then started questioning about my plans, also putting some pressure in holding me by the neck. I was hurting that time, that’s why I kicked him down below the belt, leaving him unto his knees. I directly went to grab my stuff and searched for the lighter. But to my dismay, as I snatch the lighter from my bag, Robert was able to have a grasp on it. Then the incident happened, he wasn’t able to hold it properly, letting the lighter put the entire house on fire. The last thing I knew, my mother was there… helping me getting into a safer place, while leaving my own husband alone inside our burning house.” I couldn’t hold my tears and let them freely fall on my cheeks. Reminiscing such memory hurt, but it was all put up in my own past.

“I-I’m sorry to hear that, Me. I thought you really did kill him. Luckily, you aren’t in jail right now.”

“I can say it’s luck, but thanks to my mother who helped me always back then. And somehow the case suddenly was closed – that they already found the killer…I wasn’t expecting that…that someone will take my position of having me as the suspected killer…At the end, the truth was being scattered by a couple of months – I wasn’t responsible. But some people, most of them who were influenced by Robert’s family were still telling the authority that I was accountable for my husband’s death.”

“Did they find the body of Robert?” France asked as she take another sip of her drink.

“Yes. But I didn’t have the guts to see him for the last time even unto his burial. I couldn’t take another look to the man who held me captive for years. The marriage, our vows and promises were all lies being put behind by his beautiful masks. He was a monster…I loved a monster.”

France held me close around her arms, letting me feel that she was concerned about me. I hugged her tight as I cried. For an instant, I could feel the loose grip of guilt I felt inside. We stayed for some time in that position and allowed her to comfort me, just like how my mother protected me before. We decided to keep this only between us for our safety and my reputation also. She promised that she will help me in any matter that she can. I invited her for lunch and ate the soup I prepared. Somehow, I’m grateful for the chance to meet her as a friend. I thank her for her presence and for letting me explained my side.

We shared the whole afternoon, talking about random stuff and what promos we can offer in the shop. France also helped me in cleaning the house. Despite of our age gap, we are able to enjoy our company. This can be a good friendship to both of us. I was busy doing the laundry, when I felt some pokes from someone over my side. I turned my eyes and see France giving me a grin. “By the way, how’s you and Brandon?” She muttered, putting the other stuff inside the plastic container.

“I-its quite good.” I felt my cheeks reddened.

“You’re blushing, Me. Did you…you know, do it already?”

“O-of course not!” I gathered all my thoughts and let myself control my emotions. This is not the right time to be in such red cheeks. “He just asked if I could give him a chance to court me.”

She giggled so badly.

“You know, I won’t mind if the two of you will start dating. You should also need someone to take care of you, Me. So, did you give him a chance?”

I stood still and clamped my fingers together. “Yes… but we decided to take things slow between us. There’s no need to rush.”

“That’s lovely dear.” She patted me on the back and gave me a sweet smile.

“Thank you, France. Thank you for being a good companion for me. I really appreciate this relationship of us.” I hugged her tight.

France hugged me back. “Of course. You’re a nice person, Mellaine. It’s just a couple of time and the right people to be surrounded will heal and help you from all your pains. Don’t be hesitant to ask for help from me. You’re like my daughter now.

“Thank you, Mommy France” We both laughed.