IGNATIUS The Colors of Rage

Chapter d Amnesia

Amare still complained, Baine’s face glowed with red hot madness, and Nansen looked disappointed as if his “broken toy” was being taken away, but even so, Iggy rushed off with Emi. They went upstairs to his room where it was a safe private place to sit around for a while. Emi laid across the bed, and Iggy stood against the window sill, watching the colors of the sky becoming lighter and lighter with each passing moment. Sunrise was soon approaching, yet he stood unalarmed, simply watching. “Why can’t I remember anything?” he wondered. He looked over at her.

Her relaxed expression harbored zero worry. Her voice was as soft as a whisper. “I don’t mind it.” She peeled herself off of the bed and approached him. She proceeded to touch him. She tucked his right hand around her waist and held his left hand high toward his own shoulder. Her fingers intertwined with his and her head laid against his chest, and she pushed them off into a gentle rock from side to side. The swaying felt familiar to him. 

“What are we doing?”

“We’re dancing.”

“Dancing?” He peered down at the top of her glowing white head. “To what?”

“Nothing.” She turned her cheek and nestled the other side of her face against him. “We do this often.” He caressed the back of her neck with one finger and threw the hair off of her shoulders. He spread his fingers through her hair and laid his palm against the back of her head, pressing her into himself. “Just like clockwork,” she chuckled. “You’re six inches taller and eighty pounds heavier. We sleep once every twelve hours, and feed once every twenty four hours. Our schedule is erratic; your brothers can’t keep up with us.” 

His voice became rigid. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it’s been two weeks since you’ve made your last memory. I don’t want you to be scared.”

The pressure in his fingertips hardened just before he let her go. He stepped back. “Time has been passing and I haven’t been here for any of it?” 

“Not necessarily.” She dropped hold of him and returned to the bed, sliding across it like ice. “You’ve been here, you just don’t remember any of it.”

He turned back to the window. The sun was going to rise in less than a half an hour. He could see the deep orange glowing over the tree edges. He could feel the humidity in the air, as well as the earth spinning beneath everything. The sun cracked over the horizon and a bright orange light pierced through the forest. He leaned into the window sill. “Just once, I’ll watch the world become day. I should remember that.” 

Emi’s shoulders pulled back. “Yeah, right... Close the window.” 

He didn’t even look at her. He still stood there, staring outward. She called his name, but it was soundless. He could see the rays of sunlight bleach the back of the clouds, and slither down the walls of the house. It was coming closer. 

Just before the sunlight entered the room, Emi leapt up. In one swift movement, she slammed the window shut, pulled the curtains together, and shoved Iggy back a step. Standing in between him and the covered window, she grasped his hand in her own and looked into his eyes, searching for something deep within. She whispered urgently, as if she were afraid someone else would overhear, “why would you do that? Why would you want to hurt yourself? Don’t you know what the sun does?” 

Iggy jerked his head back at the thought of it. “Did I want to hurt myself?” He looked away from her, considering it. Yes, he would. It was always what he wanted, but what was more important than what he wanted was her reaction. He whispered back, much calmer than she, “are you surprised?” 

“Yes!” 

With no time to waste, her hand pressed onto his shoulder and she pushed him backwards into the bed. He fell down and she crept up on top of him with her legs along each side. Her chest pressed down into his aggressively, so that her face came so close that he could feel her breath on his lips. Her eyes seemed to see right through him. She said, “I don’t want you to be in pain. I want you to be happy. When you are happy, I am happy, too.” 

“Nothing’s wrong-” Her lips kissed him, silencing him. 

Then, her kiss danced over his cheek and down his neck. As if she already knew what to do to him, she pressed hard into his throat, and he could feel her teeth on the other side of her lips begging to come out. It was dangerous, however exciting that she could have easily bit him, causing him intense pain, but she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. She didn’t want him to be in pain. 

A first.

Instead, she opened her mouth next to his ear. She whispered something. What? He couldn't say, he wouldn’t even remember, but what he did know was that his body was nearly frozen from shock. Sensational shock. Other men would have just melted in the moment, and allowed things to progress, but not Iggy. He was different.

He was frozen stock still for longer than what was comfortable, forgetting to breath! He pushed her off to the side, sat up and gasped for air. His arms crossed over his chest and he hunched forward, closing the space that was once for her. He blinked forcefully, validating to himself that he was still there. “I’m sorry for scaring you,” he spoke rapidly. He closed his eyes and lowered his chin. “Wi… with the window. I know that if I get hurt, you will get hurt, too… I wasn’t thinking. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry. I just… I just don’t understand what I’m feeling or why you are doing this to me.”

Emi dragged her hand across his shoulders and rested it on his chest. Her breasts flattened against his back and she said quietly in his ear, “we’re ready for this.”

“For what?” 

“I love you,” she said sincerely. “I’ve been taught that we’ll live forever, but I don’t believe it anymore. I feel like something bad might happen. And I… I... I want to have s*x with you while I still can.” 

“Wh… what? s*x?” He turned and faced her. “How did we get this far? So fast?”

She shook her head. “It’s been weeks.”