Twice the charm

6. Never will I ever

LUCY

  "You did what..." The words really left me. Every accusation Grant threw at me. They were right. I would be lying to myself if I did bit admit that at that moment, My ego popped like an old bag of chips. My mum rubbed her forehead in a dilemma before going over to her work table, which happened to be the dining table, and brought back with her a thin file. She handed it to me then spoke.

"I know you are shocked Lucy but try to understand, I had no choice. Our lives were already in shambles and add a baby in. I was afraid of what would happen if we did not have a backup plan or worse, If something happened to one of us."

  She was right but that did not lessen the surprise. My mum kept this from me for years and I still would have no idea if Grant had not blabbed his mouth. It made me wonder what other secrets she was keeping even if it was for the greater good.

"And if you must know, I have not touched the money. It is all intact. I got a financial consultant help me set up the account-"

"Grant was telling the truth." I cut in, more to myself than her.

"Lucy, you have every right to be angry. But, when Grant's father visited you at the hospital, he kept insisting I take the money. The man was practically desperate. I thought about it and came to a conclusion."

"A conclusion without me!" I shot back in anger. "Mom, I rejected that money for a reason. I wanted my self-respect intact. I wanted to get rid of anything that would keep me bound to Grant.  But there you went, proving to Clayton's that I was indeed a gold digger."

"Let them call you how they see fit. We both know that is not true and that is what matters and if you must know, his father did not give you the money to prove you were a gold digger. The man was genuinely sorry for everything you had gone through.

I scoffed. "He just wanted to protect his son."

"Maybe. But that is exactly what I had in mind when I collected the cheque, Lucy. I did that to protect you and June's future. You made me swear to keep June's survival a secret and I obeyed your wishes." My mother stopped, staring at her perfectly manicured fingers as she found words that were not triggering. "All I had in mind was to leave something for June should something happen to any of us. Since you are bent on denying her a father figure, You should at least make her future bright."

I was still shattered by the revelation. Mom was sure she had made a wise decision and there was no changing her mind. I had managed just fine without the Clayton family charity money. I had a good job, a fat bank account, and insurance should anything happened to me. June was in a safe space and there was no need to worry.

"June's future is very bright Mom. We have never needed Grant's money so you have to admit, Taking the cheque was a big mistake."

"No. Things could have gone wrong. " Mom pointed out. "And you have been ranting about yourself, Lucy. What about June? Do you not think she is entitled to something from her father? You have denied her anything related to him."

"Because she does not need anything from him." I shot back defensively. Mom was using that little bit to blackmail me and I would not let it grow. "I am returning the money mom and nothing, not even you is going to stop me."

"Well at least let June decide. Wait till she is mature enough and ask if she wants to keep it. The money is her birthright after all."

"I know that mother." I retorted in defense. "I am not denying that she is Grant's daughter but I have en ego to protect mother. We do not need this money."

"You, " Mom corrected. "You do not need this money and as always you are choking your will down everyone's throat."

"It's good for her. She shouldn't know what kind of repulsive man her Father is."

"Or maybe you are just scared, Lucy. June is your daughter and she loves you but if you truly love her, you should let her know more of her father or better still, Tell Grant of his daughter."

I felt attacked by my own mother. She of all people was suggesting that I let Grant wreak his usual havoc and on my daughter. The last thing I wanted was to be once again connected to Grant. Even though it was inevitable. I would do anything to keep Grant's side in June's life cut. Mother did not stop there.

"She asks about him from me Lucy. Her questions keep growing as she grows and one day I will not be able to keep it a secret from her anymore."

I found it strange. Lucy had never shared that piece of information with me. Until today, I had never even thought she felt the absence of a father figure. Not that she would need one like Grant but the revelations kept on coming.

"She doesn't tell you because she knows it hurts you. But that does not stop the questions from popping into her mind Lucy. One day, the questions will grow out of proportion, and maybe, just maybe your daughter will walk right of that door to find her father and that would be chaos. Especially when you have to explain to Grant why you kept his daughter away from him for fifteen years."

"Grant will never find out," I mumbled thickly, numbing any wild imagination my brain seemed to lean unto. "And I cannot believe this is coming from you mother. You know that is a stretch. Grant will be out of our hair once again and I am sure that will never happen. I saw him today Mom. His looks, the way he reacts, He is still that reckless boy that did not want children."

Suddenly, a sharp little sound came from behind us. I jerked round to see June standing by the hinges of the door by the hallway. Her eyes were wide and she was frozen to the spot. I swallowed, knowing the damage had already happened. June must have overhead all we said. Then she walked up to us.

"You met Dad? Like you spoke to him... Really...genuinely...speaking to him? Did you tell him about me?" June threw it all at me. I would be lying if I said I was not stunned. I bit my lower lips just acknowledging that my mother was right. June did want to know more about her father. I felt a hand grip my heart as I made up something to say. June was desperate to be acknowledged by a man that did not even know of her existence. A man that would not even care if he knew. June did not need him. So I did what any loving mother would do in a situation like this.

"No... I didn’t," I replied, feeling the grip on my heart tighten until it made it bleed. It hurt to see the trauma that was built on June's joyful expression like fog but it was necessary. If her heart had to break for her to be genuinely happy. Then so be it.

"Your mother came a little too late. " My mom chipped in, surprising me. It was refreshing to know she always had my back even when she did not support me.

June's face trembled as my words finally sank in. The look on her face, I had seen it all. Sadness and resentment.  Her eyes darted in my direction and all I could picture was hate. Almost immediately, My baby girl flared at me for the first time since never.

"Can't you two just grow up! All I want is a family and you both still refuse to give me that. Is it too much to ask to be a normal girl that does not have to answer degrading questions every moment of her life!" June condemned me and Grant before taking off and slamming the door shut.