Surviving My Fate

Chapter Four Escaping Ian

My encounter with Mr. Mason was so weird, the vibe, the aura, the electricity. I’ve thought back on our meeting many times since that day. What bothers me most is the way he left. I’m pretty sure it was him speeding off in the sports car anyways. His exit left smoke everywhere. It was odd as he seemed in good spirits a few minutes before.

Uhhh why do I even care I will probably never see him again.

If it weren’t for these damn dreams I’ve kept having since that day it would be easier to brush him off but I feel he left his mark. Each night is the same; I fall asleep only to find myself mesmerized by the wolf with Mr. Mason's eyes. Each time the dream reoccurs it gets more vivid, the smells, the sounds, like I’m really there. I’m always in the clearing by the cabin when he shows up and I’m wondering if it’s a sign. Maybe I shouldn’t go to Wyoming after all. I wish I could chalk the meeting up to nothing since my escape is planned for tomorrow, the only problem with that is my subconscious continuing to emulate him into a wolf I so desperately want to run to.

My inner monologue ends as the sound of Ian’s voice brings me back to the present.

“Cassie get your ass in here” Ian yells from the kitchen.

I scurry to get there as fast as possible leaving my son to finish brushing his teeth alone. “Yes, Ian,” I say timidly trying not to anger the beast.

I don’t know what’s going on with him at this point. I’m just so glad Alex and I don’t have to stay to figure it out.

Ian has acted really strangely since that night when we got home. He was convinced I had been cheating. In his drunken state, he had spouted some crazy things like I smelled of another man. He had then scalded my hands in boiling water determined to get rid of the “scent.”

“Why aren’t the dishes done?” Ian growls “f*****g lazy bitch.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll do them right now” ugh why can’t he ever just be normal and help, I have to do everything and care for him. It would be so much easier to do it on my own. I take a deep breath reminding myself starting tomorrow, I will be.

I don’t have time to register what’s happening as my face is slammed onto the counter.

“You think your attitude is funny” Ian stammers the alcohol on his breath burning my nose as he leans in close.

“No Ian, I’m sorry.” I plead hearing my son enter the kitchen.

“Mommy.”

His little voice sounds so broken it makes my heart clench. “Please just let me get Alex” I beg as my baby starts crying. Ian reluctantly lets me go and I rush to comfort my boy.

“Shhhh it’s okay Alex, mommy has you baby” I reassure him as I cradle his tiny body against my chest. His whimpers die down with each rock his body takes back and forth. God, please let me make it one more day.

I sit Alex on the counter next to me and then begin washing the dishes left over from breakfast. My little helper dries them and sits them in the cabinet after I scrub and rinse them clean. It doesn’t take long to finish so a few minutes later I’m picking Alex up and we’re walking towards the door.

I don’t even get the chance to unlatch the deadbolt before Ian grabs my arm whispering darkly in my ear.

“You’re not off the hook that easy” he laughs manically his hot breath heavy on my neck “there’s always tonight Cassie.”

I rush out the door the moment he lets me go holding Alex tightly against me. Things have gotten so much worse; I so desperately wish I could leave now and not look back. I could if all of Alex’s belongings weren’t at the apartment. I can’t uproot his life and leave everything he knows without taking his things. As a mom, I’m at a total loss. A single tear escapes and I brush it away. I can feel the blame and guilt settling over me again. Why did I have to choose such a shitty father for my child?

…

I pull up to the office building and put the car in park. My face has been throbbing since Ian slammed it on the counter and I lower the visor to check myself in the mirror. An angry red splotch mars my face from my temple to the top of my cheekbone and I can see the purple inklings of a bruise starting to form. Digging into my purse I pull out a color-correcting kit and start applying some green and peach hoping to cancel the colors out before I go over it with concealer. When I’m satisfied with the outcome I let my hair down to hide any other traces and step out of the car.

Alex scrambles out of his seat when I unbuckle him and reaches for my hand pulling me towards the daycare. He seems eager to get to his friends. Another pang of guilt hits with the realization he’ll have to leave all his friends behind. When we walk in he makes his way to the back of the room where his friends are already playing.

I’m left watching from the doorway. I take a moment to embrace his independence. Alex turns around to give me a smile and wave seeing it as my cue I leave.

I then make my way upstairs to my desk to prepare myself to start my last day.

Most of the day I’m training the new receptionist; she’s very good at her job. I’m positive she’s going to be a great fit for both Mr. Allen and the firm. I’m happy they found someone as adept as her to take over.

Around a quarter to five, Mr. Allen calls me to his office.

“Yes sir” I greet walking in.

“Cassandra, have a seat” I do as instructed getting comfortable in the chair across from Mr. Allen. “I wanted to take the time before you left today to stop to say thank you for being a great employee and always seeing that the office ran smoothly.” I’m a little shocked at the compliment. Mr. Allen wasn’t an uncourteous man nor a mean one by any means, hearing him express gratitude wasn’t common though. To be on the receiving end made me feel good about my time here.

“Thank you Mr. Allen I’m glad to have done you justice during my time as your secretary.”

He gives me a small smile before speaking again. “You’re always welcome to come back, Cassandra.”

I know it’s not intended to be literal and the offer came purely as a form of generosity, the position was gone. I wasn’t needed. It’s imperative I express gratitude anyway. “Thank you, I will keep that in mind. I would also like to thank you for your letter of recommendation it exceeded anything I could’ve asked for.” The genuine smile we exchange ends our conversation and I exit his office to gather my belongings from the reception desk for the last time.

It doesn’t take long to get Alex and make our way to Ms. Harriet’s apartment, she opens the door as Alex runs up excited to show her the drawing he made for her fridge. He’s got two stick figures holding hands in a field of wildflowers. “What’re ya waiting for child let’s go stick it on the fridge,” she tells him directing him to the kitchen.

“Mommy loves you” I call out shutting her door.

“Second job here I come” I mutter to myself.

Mentally I take a second to prepare myself for the emotions I’ll feel leaving the library for a final time. I’ll be ending a chapter in my own life.

My shift tonight won’t end until ten and my boss will be meeting me at closing to get my keys. I spend the starting hours putting books away and helping folks. The remainder of my shift I strategize, going over the plan for tomorrow until I think I’ve finally got it all figured out that’s when Maggie walks in. She’s slightly earlier the time showing it’s ten till ten.

“Evening Maggie” I greet her.

“Evening Cassie, we sure will miss you around here.” Maggie is a sweet middle-aged woman with a few extra pounds on her midsection and she loves books like no other. I remember when I came to interview all those months ago it took weeks for her to trust me enough to let me close the library; prior to me she did all the work herself never leaving.

“I’m going to miss you too,” I tell her with a wink. I walk out from behind the desk and place my keys in her hand. It’s then that Maggie surprises me by giving me a hug. It takes a second until I master my composure enough to hug her back but the small squeeze of reassurance she gives me makes me want to cry. Maggie had become like a mother over the months always eager to help.

“You take care of yourself Cassie” she whispers stepping back and letting her arms fall to the side.

The ornate clock which is grown to love strikes 10 and I help Maggie close up concluding my chapter as a librarian.

My car takes a few tries to start, the engine is having trouble turning over and I find myself muttering a small prayer hoping it’ll make it to Wyoming. I can’t afford to fix the junk bucket right now. With us currently living in Orlando, the trip up to Pinedale is around a thirty-six-hour drive and 2500 miles. My Honda will need all the prayers she can get.

Ms. Harriet is awake when I get back to her apartment, it’s unusual when she doesn’t fall asleep when Alex does. She opens the door as I march my way up the sidewalk. I step through the threshold as she opens her mouth to speak.

“I’m proud of you Cassie,” Ms. Harriet says gripping my shoulders in her wrinkled hands. I smile gratefully thankful for the woman I’ve come to look up to. She once had to run from her ex-husband which led her to start over here. Both her daughters are strong well rounded women because of her and it means a lot hearing she’s proud of me. My eyes water causing a salty tear to slide down my cheek. “Don’t cry Cassie, you’re strong. I’ve got every bit of faith that you and Alex will have a wonderful life.”

“Thank you, Harriet.”

“Come on child, get that boy and go get you some rest, you’ve got a long journey ahead.”

Doing as Harriet told me I scoop Alex’s little body up slipping out the front door.

I follow my usual nighttime routine and somehow find myself thinking about Mr. Mason again.

Lost in the daydream I hardly hear the door click open. I barely have time to put my schoolwork away before Ian is staggering into our bedroom.

He acknowledges my presence with a condescending sneer as he leaps across the bed pinning me against the headboard.

“Cassandra” he growls. His pupils are so dilated that the entirety of his iris looks black, the blues I know are gone leaving me frightened by the sight. I want to fight back but in this game of fight or flight, I’m frozen, I feel my heart beating erratically and I know he can too.

“Ian” I whisper, his name almost inaudible to my own ears. His eyes flicker up to meet mine for a second then he’s gone again back into his own world. His large hand snakes into my hair the grip tight as his other hand pulls my body downwards. His knees trap my wrists beneath them. I feel a few strands of my hair ripped from my scalp at his forcefulness. He continues using his free hand to undress us. When he can’t manage without both hands he releases my hair and pins my arms under my back giving him a larger advantage over me. It doesn’t take long and I’m stripped bare before him.

“f**k” he roars, a slight bit of blue now coming back into his eyes. Ian looks like he’s fighting an internal battle as he leans forward biting the tender area where my shoulder and neck meet. The sudden pain causes a scream to rip through my throat then the fire that begins waging war inside of me sends me into the now welcomed blackness.

…

I feel like death as my eyes flutter open, the events of last night flooding back to me harshly. I look around slowly moving to sit up while I take in my surroundings. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’m holding. Ian is gone. I walk to the bathroom taking in my appearance through the large mirror, my wrists are bruised, my hair is knotted, and my neck oh god my neck, there are teeth marks in the center of a large red and purple bruise. The open wound looks infected already. The blood has dried in place along the divots; it’s only been, I peer at the clock 4:39 am, less than five hours, I need medical treatment. I tenderly reach up to touch the bite, the area is hot; it’s emanating heat.

I continue my check over after cleaning and dressing the bite which leads me downwards. My thighs don’t feel sticky and I don’t think he performed any s****l acts. That’s one plus. I go back to the bedroom and quickly dress in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, sliding on tennis shoes before walking back to the bathroom. Another look in the mirror confirms what is thought. I look like s**t.

Since I’m up and Ian’s gone I start packing. I’ve saved enough money to repurchase all of Alex and my necessities so that’ll save me some time. I don’t bother grabbing anything from the bathroom, or living room. I walk to the kitchen grabbing the roll of trash bags, I would’ve never been able to get suitcases in the house without Ian noticing. Exiting the kitchen I return to my closet throwing everything into two bags, I sit them by the front door, and as quietly as I can I go into Alex’s room and do the same with his things. Five bags later the only thing left is Alex himself.

I’m carrying all the bags to the car when my phone starts ringing. Who would be calling me at six am? I throw the last bag in the back seat since the trunk is full and pull my phone out of my pocket. The screen reads Isaiah and I immediately silence the call sticking my phone back in my pocket. I’ve got to hurry. I get back upstairs grab the largest purse I own and start throwing all my chargers, laptop, and any other electronics inside then make my way back to Alex. His room looks bare with his toys gone.

“Hey baby, time to wake up” he stirs slightly. I’m leaning forward pushing his hair out of his eyes when they slowly crack open his cheeky smile spreading across his little face.

“Morning mommy” he forces out between yawns and stretches. I don’t even bother changing him out of his pajamas I simply lead him to the bathroom to pee and we’re out the door.

Alex doesn’t ask any questions though I can tell he’s confused because we’re usually making breakfast right now, not leaving. Once he’s buckled in tight I hop in the driver's seat and we’re off. I peek at the rearview mirror a few times catching the little confused faces Alex makes but instead of asking any questions he stays silent until we hit the interstate.

“We’re not going back are we mommy” it’s more of a statement than a question and I raise my eyes to peer in the rearview mirror once more. I make eye contact with my boy.

“No baby, we’re not.” I stay honest with him, he deserves that. He doesn’t seem too affected by the news and within a minute goes back to playing. His kid's iPad cuts on shortly after. Soon he finds his way onto the kid's channel. From the sounds I’m hearing paw patrol is about to save the day.

We’ve driven for about two hours when he speaks again “I’m hungry.”

“Okay, what do you want and mommy will pull over?”

“Oooh, can I have McDonald’s” his eyes get real big and he’s smiling now as I pull off the next exit to find a McDonald’s.

…

The next time we stop it's nightfall and I can hardly keep my eyes open, I picked up snacks on our first trip off the interstate and Alex has already fallen asleep. My phone reads 11:33 pm. I turn the old phone on to see I have over 100 missed calls from Ian. I had changed my Apple ID in preparation for the move and started the new phone and phone plan I had ready before we left the apartment. Since my old phone is of no use at this point I do a factory reset then tell the lady in the motel's office she can keep it after I check in.

If Ian manages to track me at all it’ll lead him to a funky motel somewhere in Arkansas.

Trying not to worry too much I get Alex and me into the room. Laying down I curl my body around my sweet boy, he instinctively cuddles closer. I’m listening to his soft breathing beginning to drift off to sleep when the familiar clearing comes into view.

My alarm rouses me at 5 am, I slowly stretch giving my body time to adjust. I’m gathering my son in my arms heading out the motel door soon thereafter. I shut our door tossing the key in the bin labeled drop off and walk to the car placing Alex in his car seat before getting back in myself. We have another eighteen hours until we reach Wyoming, if I don’t have to, I don’t plan to stop again. Besides the fewer places I stop the less likely anyone is to see me which makes it less likely for Ian to find us ever again.

…

I’m tired and aching from sitting in one spot for so long; I can tell Alex doesn’t want to be in his car seat any longer either his little face is scrunched up even in sleep. The sun sat a couple of hours ago, the dash showing it’s almost midnight when we finally cross into Wyoming. The big sign reads welcome and I feel myself smile. I did it.

I call Gloria to let her know we’re only an hour and a half away now and she answers on the first ring.

“Hello.”

“Hey Gloria, it’s Cassie, are you still able to meet tonight?” I ask tentatively hoping not to be an inconvenience.

“Oh yes yes dear I’ll be here waiting.”

“Thank you, Gloria.” I finish speaking and the line goes dead. I breathe a sigh of relief. Knowing she’ll be waiting rejuvenates me enough to keep going.

I flip my bright lights on as the street curves into darkness, the street lights become farther apart and the trees closer together. Shouldn’t be far now.

One last turn and the cabin comes into view. It’s absolutely gorgeous even in the dark. I see Gloria standing on the porch her silhouette small and frail in the dim lighting.

I pull into the small driveway and start to unbuckle Alex when I hear the gravel shifting alerting me someone is approaching. Turning in an effort to protect my son I see it’s only Gloria. We make our way into the house together and she proceeds to give me a small tour showing me to a child’s bedroom. With Alex still in my arms, I make my way into the bedroom, I lay him in the bed watching as his tiny form curls into a ball his butt poking up in the air. Once satisfied he’ll continue to sleep I follow her back to the kitchen.

Gloria turns on the bright light illuminating the oak architecture. I’m stunned by the beauty. “My husband built this place himself,” she tells me with a faraway look in her eyes.

“It’s breathtaking Gloria.”

“As it was intended to be. Now sit, let’s sign these papers and I’ll leave you to it.” I do as she says and sits at the kitchen island where she has notarized papers laid out. I read through the arrangements we’ve discussed and start signing.

“That should do it” my fingers are cramping when I’m done and I put the cap on the pen, setting it to the side.

“That should” she repeats “all that’s left is the agreed upon 5000 for you to take over the cabin” she smiles a sad smile taking another look around the place she so clearly loves. I reach into my purse taking the money out, she was clear with me that she preferred cash so I withdrew everything when Alex and I stopped the first day. I also closed all my bank accounts. It was easy to reopen one in town with the help of Gloria so Ian couldn’t track my purchases.

“It should all be there” I hand the money over and Gloria slides it into her purse with her copy of the documents, she doesn’t bother to count it.

“If you need anything I’m a call away and I will see you next month to collect the 1000.” She stands to leave and I can’t help but to stand and hug her.

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver” she pats my back tenderly and we break apart.

“I’m just an old woman, don’t thank me too much” she laughs walking out the front door. I hear the old truck I parked next to start up and see her headlights receding as she backs down the drive.

I really did it.

I’m finally away from Ian.