Lavender

Homecoming

“Honey, wake up, we’re here!” I woke up to my Mom gently shaking my shoulder. In my groggy state, it took me a moment to remember where I was. As I looked around the plane, which was pulling onto the tarmac near our home pack, my memory started slowly coming back. We were back in the United States, in Washington and getting ready to see our pack members for the first time in almost a year. Saying our goodbyes to the Transylvania pack had been difficult, especially with Luna Alina and her new daughter, Alexandra, who I had become close too during our stay there. We had promised to write each other and stay in touch as much as possible.  

As we got off the plane, which was a private flight (another perk of my Dad’s job), the nerves of seeing my pack members again started to really set in. What if Lilac was right and I was only a few hours away from meeting my mate? Like almost all werewolves, I dreamt of meeting my mate – my other half, the yin to my yang, but I was also scared. If my mate was here in Washington, did that mean I would have to settle down in one place, while my father and mother continued on their adventures…? Even though I would be happy to have a mate, I already knew I did not want to stay here in Washington.

While Alpha Damien cared for and protected my family like any other, there was an underlying level of hostility that was impossible for someone as sensitive as me to ignore. It wasn’t Alpha Damien’s fault – his Alpha wolf was only responding naturally to my father’s Alpha wolf. My father is from a pack that was decimated by rogues right before he turned 16 – his whole pack was killed but, somehow, my father survived without even having his wolf to protect him. He was taken in by Alpha Damien and met his mate, my mom Arianna, the Beta’s daughter, in the White Moon pack. Alpha Damien insisted he would give my father a high ranking position if he wanted it but my fathers calling was always healing. As the third son of his parents, he likely would not have been an Alpha, even if the rogues hadn’t taken the choice from him. That is why the Alpha allows my dad, my mom and I to live the lifestyle that we do – in the end, it is better for everyone this way, with us frequently spending time away from the pack.

As we all loaded into the SUV waiting to take us home, my thoughts turned towards the pack members I was most excited to see again. My grandparents, my Uncle Richard (my mom’s brother, who is the current Beta, after my grandfather’s retirement) and, of course, my favorite cousin Selena, Uncle Rich’s daughter. It’s always hardest to leave Selena – despite the distance, we keep in contact almost everyday when my family takes a new mission and she’s the closest thing I have to a best friend. Kind of sad, right? My best friend is also family, but we take what we can get!

As I was reflecting on my non-exsistent social life, I started to feel the familiar tingle in my head that signified we were nearing the pack borders. Being away for so long, we start to lose the pack mind-link and once we come back, it’s almost like we are shifting for the first time all over again, as we get barraged with our pack members mind-links. I tuned everyone out and I gave myself sometime to adjust to the re-established connections. I practiced meditating daily, as do most wolves, and this helps us control our mind-link and become closer to our wolves. Other than shifting, this is when we are closest to our furry side.

Even though I’ve never told anyone, even my parents, when I meditate I sometimes receive messages from the Moon Goddess herself. At least, I’m pretty sure it’s her…it’s not a real conversation, it’s not like I’ve actually met the Goddess and seen her face, but it’s more like a feeling that I know is coming from something other than myself. When we were in Romania, I was hoping to find someone who could elaborate more on these messages and why I receive them, but I was not able to find a werewolf or witch who was able to help me or at least explain to me what was happening.

Before I knew it, our car slowed to a stop at the “No Trespassing” sign that signified the pack’s borders. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the two usual guards, Lyle and Derrick, approaching from the side. Lyle, as usual, was in his wolf form and stayed back while Derrick, as a human, approached the vehicle wearing work-out shorts. When my father rolled down the window to identify himself, Derrick broke out into a huge grin and, if he was still in his wolf form, I’m sure his tail would have been wagging like crazy.

“Long time no see, Mr. Fairbanks!” Derrick said while grasping my father’s outstretched arm.

“Hello, Derrick. I hope you and your mate have been well in our absence?” My father returned his smile. Derrick was only one year older than me but found his mate shortly before we left for Romania. She was from a pack from the South and had been visiting with her family when they found each other. I got to spend a little bit of time with her before leaving and they seemed to be a perfect match for each other in every way. That’s the point of a mate though, right?

“We’ve never been better, sir, Ang gave birth to our first pup just a few month’s ago.” Derrick replied with a proud smile. I couldn’t stop myself from interjecting into their conversation.

“You’re kidding?? I missed your first pup’s birth?” I asked as I rolled down my window.

“I was wondering when you were going to speak up, Lav! I tried to tell her to wait for you, but you know how women are…” Derrick responded, as he leaned in to give me a quick, one-sided hug. I chuckled with him and returned the hug, smiling and waving at Lyle who gave a quick “Woof” and a semi-smile in return. Derrick was a goofy guy, who was very easy to get along with. He helped me with training when I’m home and I tried to pass as much as knowledge as I could onto him from the foreign packs. He was a great fighter but there were just certain things you couldn’t learn from our trainers that I was able to teach him. Lyle was also a good fighter – he was not quite as friendly as Derrick but, once he opened up, I discovered he was a sweetheart and also very intelligent.

“It was great to see you guys, but we must get going so I can give Alpha Damien my usual report. I’m sure we’ll see you again before the ceremony.” My father said – right to business, as usual. Derrick nodded politely and waved as we started to pull away. From the border, it only takes about 20 minutes to reach the main packhouse. The packhouse was huge – 6 stories tall with a massive footprint and an incredible amount of clear land that was used for training, ceremonies and numerous other things. It was surrounded by forests on all sides, of course. Our territory was essentially a small town – most pack members lived in regular sized houses closer to town. It was common for wolves to move to the packhouse after they’ve had their first shift and to stay there until they found a mate. Everyone contributed in their own way – from working at the local businesses, getting contracts with humans for

supplies, cooking, cleaning – whatever the pack needed. Every role was viewed with the same importance and all were treated equal. The only exception would be the Alpha, Beta and Gamma, and their families, who resided in the packhouse with the younger members – these are the higher ranked wolves who handle assignment of the pack members, defenses, and relations with other packs.

When we arrived at the pack house, Alpha Damien and his Luna, Rebecca, were waiting with their son, Jacob, the future-Alpha. Beta Richard, my favorite and only Uncle, was also waiting with his mate, Lily, and their daughter Selena, who seemed to bouncing up and down on her heels with a huge smile on her face. I didn’t notice the Gamma, Brandon, who was a younger unmated wolf waiting with the group. As soon as I saw Selena, I barely waited for the car to stop before I jumped out and gave her the biggest hug.

“Lav, I’ve missed you so much! I have so much to catch you up on – I hope you’re staying for at least a few days or I won’t have enough time to tell you everything!” She squealed.

“I’ve missed you too! Selena, you know I’m a free spirit – can’t stay in one place for too long.” I laughed while answering her. We released each other but I looped my arm through hers while I saw my parents greeting the Alpha and Beta. My eyes took in everyone and I couldn’t believe how much of a difference one year makes. I saw Jacob, Alpha Damien’s son, looking intently at me like he was waiting for something. He has the typical Alpha look – he was tall, at least 6’ 2” and probably not done growing yet, muscular and he had aura around him that signified power. He had sandy blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes and a cute smile.

“His wolf is probing – probably seeing if we are mates…it’s not him.”  My wolf informed me sadly. I could feel her disappointment – having Alpha blood makes it very likely our mate will also have Alpha blood, so he was the best option from our pack. I remember Jacob as being a kind soul – much like his father but I’ve never felt any type of pull towards him. I gave him a small smile as we both heard our parents discussing our travels.

“There’s much that I need to brief you on regarding our recent trip.” My father started, likely eager to tell the Alpha about our encounters with other supernatural beings.

“Let’s head to the main conference room. We’ll have food brought up for us, as you did miss dinner with the pack.” The Alpha said while leading us inside. We noticed some younger members already starting to unload our bags. “Lavender, you know which room is yours so feel free to get settled back in. I’m sure Selena will help you?” He asked as we all headed towards the stairs.

“Of course, Dad, you know where to find us!” Selena giggled, as she pulled my arm and we ran past our parents to start the trek to the top floor. The top floor of the house is almost strictly for the Alpha family. Because our situation is different from most packs, Alpha Damien has set aside two rooms for my parents and myself on the top floor. The 5th floor is for the Beta and Gamma families but sometimes Selena will stay with me, since I’m not here very often. When we made it to my room, I was surprisingly comforted by the familiar site. My room wasn’t huge but it was decent-sized with a queen bed, dresser, walk-in closet, balcony and private attached bathroom. Looking through my closet and drawers, I could see everything was exactly how I left it.

“Okay, I know you’re tired and we’ll have time to talk more before the ceremony tomorrow, but I need to tell you about Brandon!” Selena said excitedly, as we sat down on the bed and made ourselves comfortable. Now that she’s mentioned it, I could feel exhaustion setting in as I got more comfortable. I gave her a smirk to let her know I was listening. “Brandon still hasn’t found his mate, I think that’s why he wasn’t there to greet you today. He’s hoping you’re his mate and wanted to wait to test his theory until he can get you alone!” She finished in a hurry with wide eyes.

“Selena…” I started. “Have you been encouraging this theory?” I asked with a fake, stern tone. Selena knows as well as I do that if my mate was part of this pack, I should know by now. Even if there wasn’t any indication before my first shift, when I entered the packhouse, I didn’t feel that pull to any of the smells wafting around. There are several ways we identify a mate and one of the most important is our mate’s smell. It’s supposed to be the best thing you’ve ever smelled and I didn’t sense anything special when I walked through the packhouse – and believe me, I was paying close attention.

“Me too.” My wolf huffed in my mind, knowing that my thoughts were correct.

“Well, not particularly…” Selena answered with a nervous chuckle. “….but that’s why I wanted to tell you right away! I know you’re more in touch with your wolf than most of us and you’ve experienced a lot of things but, you’ve obviously never met your mate so you can’t just rule him out without at least giving him a chance.” She said with puppy dog eyes. I think Selena was so eager for me to find my mate here because she figured if I had a mate here, I would stay here permanently. I sighed as I thought about how my life would look if Brandon was my mate.

Selena caught onto my mood change and grabbed my hand, “Tell me what you’re thinking, Lav.”

“It’s so hard to put into words” I groaned, thinking of how to explain what I wanted and how I didn’t know if what I wanted was what I needed. “You know me probably better than anyone, maybe even my parents. You know that I could never be happy staying within these boundaries, living a simple, happy life with Brandon. But there’s a small part of me that thinks the other part is wrong – that’s what a she-wolf is supposed to do, right? Find their mate, find their place in the pack, raise pups and live a happily-ever-after. What if that’s not for me? What if my mate doesn’t understand that and rejects me? Can I give up a part of myself, the love for adventure and new things, for another part of me, my future mate? I don’t think I could, Lena…” I used my nickname for her but I know she could hear the agony clear in my tone.

“Listen, Lavender, I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s been so long since we’ve talked – I probably should’ve stuck to lighter topics for your first night back.” She said, chuckling a little bit to try and make my mood a little happier. “Of course, I want you to stay here in the pack with me until we’re old and wrinkly. However, we both know that you would never be truly happy – you would smile and play the part but there would always be a part of you wanting to leave, a part of you that wants more. The Moon Goddess knows what she’s doing – she knows you even better than I do and would not put you with a mate that would make you choose between them and your freedom.” I could see she was getting a little teary eyed and I quickly hugged her to show my appreciation for her words. “You just keep meditating and bringing me back amazing stories and, who knows, maybe one day I’ll get to go with your family on one of your “adventures”.” She used her fingers to air-quote the word adventure and we both laughed.

The rest of the night we spent eating too much food, catching up on pack gossip and reliving my adventures in Romania. I told Selena about the dragons I encountered, my new friend Alina and Alexandra and anything else I could think of. She told me about one of our warriors being banished, which is very rare in pack life, and the new mated pairs that I missed. Being that Selena and I were the same age, she told me how disappointed she was when she first shifted a while ago and did not find her mate in our pack. At least she has a good chance of finding him because her Dad, as the Beta, travels around to different packs frequently. I listened to her worries and offered advice where I could.

When I told her about my parents offer to stay here, she gave me a side-eye smile that told me she knew exactly how I was going to answer. We were even joking about her coming with us on our next mission. As it got later, my exhaustion was quickly becoming something I couldn’t ignore. Knowing that the ceremony was tomorrow and we needed our sleep, we soon fell into a blissful, dream-free slumber.