The Illegitimate Royal Blood

The Permission

When they think about life, they might have one word; happiness. While when I think about Life, I have one word too; fear. Because, I live in fear. I was afraid of each and every thing or person that I came across off, for they had always hurt me.

That, lead me to be the person who I am now. A living fear-filled corpse!

"She got the lot!" I heard the King exclaiming in disbelief, at hearing that it was me who got the lot this time, for the Royal Ball.

The Royal Ball is a prestigious event. Only the Royals were allowed in there, along with their personal maids and few officials. But there's one maid, who get to go for the Royal Ball. She may be asked to help her King, Queen or the Prince and Princess, but she also get to enjoy the ball. Precisely, a dance with any guy who's interested to dance with her. 

But the maid who goes there is not by anyone's choice, but by luck. She gets her name picked out, in a lot. And this time, it was my name. How I wish I get a better luck!

"But who's going to permit her to go there?" the Queen's distaste filled tone, boomed in my ears, and I looked down. She never liked me. "Her mother?!" she snorted to herself, and I could see her getting up from her seat, through my peripheral vision.

"Do you really think, the woman, your so-called mother, will let you go for the Royal Ball?" I heard Queen speaking, while standing right in front of me. "You, are a disgrace to herself and her family, brat." she spat out, and I flinched at the hatred she had in her voice. Why does she hate me so much?

"Its you, who brought dirt to her blood, for you're unfortunately her first born, which she never wanted." Queen spoke out, bitterly and I bit onto my lip. Don't cry, Ave! Don't let her words affect you. Just don't. Nobody deserves to be in pain, and if they do, just do not let anyone see or feel it.

"Alicia. Let it be. Why bother your tongue and time! Just let the girl speak with her mother. I bet, we can go for another lot, once she speaks with her mother." I heard the King's voice, which was nothing but casual and filled with ignorance.

"Oh, I bet too. I mean, who would want a curse like her!" Queen snorted, in disgust and pushed me backwards. "Now go, and speak to your mother." she spat out, and I bobbed my head, before bowing and leaving the room.

Walking towards a corner, where nobody could see me, I shed those tears out. Was being an illegitimate my fault that people picked me out, to vent their frustration on? Was being weak my fault? 

Leaning onto the wall, I wiped my tears away, for I know, I will have to shed more tears.

***

"Brat!" a sting on my cheek was enough to fall on the ground. I held onto my left cheek, while biting my inner cheeks. "I-It was not--my fault. I did not even know my--name will be-" I was left incomplete, as I was pulled up, on my feet harshly by her. Her, my mother, Helen Thompson.

"I do not care, if it was your fault or not, brat. All I care about is, my reputation. Do you think it would be good for me to see my mistake roaming around the Royal Ball?" she spat, and I looked up at her, whimpering in pain.

"Oh for Hell's sake! Why did I have to have any kind of attraction with that man?! At least, I should not have had s****l relationship with him." she screamed before pushing me away, and I felt my body hitting the wall behind me. I flinched, and rubbed myself to soothe my pain.

Why can't she talk to me softly, at least? I am not asking for anything, but just a casual conversation between us, where I do not need to be scared that any moment, I could get hit.

"Ah, mother!" I screamed, when I felt my hairs getting pulled harshly. "Wh-What?" I heard her whispering, and I looked in her eyes to see her staring at me, with only disgust and hatred in them. "Did-did you just call me-mother?" she asked, dazed and I widened my eyes. I forgot, she hates me calling her that.

"Oh, how dare you brat?" and she slapped me again. "I-I am sorry." I whimpered in pain, and she held my cheeks in her tight grip. "Now listen to me brat, you are not worthy of going for any damn Balls, let alone the Royal Ball. Do you think, anyone would want to see this ugly face of yours?" she spat out, and I stared at her, to see that evil glint in her eyes. "Oh Aveline, you are so dumb to think like that. There's none in this world who likes you, so seeing your face every day is like a curse for them. They. Feel. Disgusted. With. Your. Presence. Scum." each word of hers were, a stab to my heart.

She was speaking again, but my brain was stuck with the words I just heard. Seeing my face everyday is like a curse for them. So...I am not just a curse, but my presence as well?

" It would be better if you just go tell the King that I did not permit you to go for the Ball, and that is it. Oh one more thing, next time you call me that, I would not flinch to finish the mistake I created. Understood?" she spat out, loudly and I nodded at her. "In words!" she yelled out. "Under-stood." I replied and she let me go, with one harsh tug.

"Now leave, before I plan to really finish you." she shouted, and I rushed out of the room while wiping my face, which had only red hand prints and tears. 

No, I do not want to live this life. Not anymore.

***

You are a scum.

I ran. I ran out of the Palace, ignoring the disgusted gazes I got from the people around. I ran like, I did not want to look behind and see their fazes twitching in distaste just with a glance of mine.

You are a curse.

I whimpered, but never stopped running. I did not want to be here. They hurt me so much.

You are a mistake.

Running towards the forest, I did not know where to go but the voices in my head were increasing. They just increased only to hurt me more.

"Stop! Stop it! Just stop it." I screamed and fell on the ground, while clutching onto my head. "Just stop. Yes. I know. I know, I am a scum. I know, I am a curse. I know, I was just a mistake. I know everything. So, stop it." I screamed in agony, and this time the voices faded away.

Clutching onto my aching heart, I cried. I cried like I never did. I am letting them out. All the pain, I had stored in my heart is being let out, for I can't take it anymore.

I simply cannot!

"One should never call themselves a curse, you know." Startled with the voice, I looked around, but saw none. I stood up and took cautious steps backwards. Who was it? I did not have enough strength in my body, to ask for the voice, hence I just stared.

"You don't need to step back." the voice came again, and this time I saw a shadow walking towards me. "For I plan to have a word with you." and then I saw the figure that belonged to the shadow.

I gasped.

Oh my God! It can't be!