The Boy I Forgot to Hate

It Was Shattered

I let out a heavy sigh. Julian's kindness earlier was making my resolve fragile.

‘Could he actually be sincere?’

‘Maybe he’s still the Julian Vega I remember, just in an upgraded casing?’

But when I remembered how he let me be humiliated in front of all the students and Valeria, my heart wasn't ready to forgive him.

‘I know whose side you'll stand your ground on, Vega, when there's a problem between me and Valeria.’

Dragging my feet slightly, I went back to Room 304. Today felt so long, and it was only the first day.

‘But damn, I can't get his try-hard cool face out of my head when he took that folder from me,’ I grumbled, closing my eyes, embarrassed by my own thoughts. ‘What’s got into your head, Elena... Focus on your goal here.’

My stomach didn't hurt anymore—the smoked turkey sandwich had done its job—but the inside of my head was currently a total wreck.

"You threw away the most valuable thing I own. I demand it back."

Julian’s words kept looping like a broken record inside my head. I couldn't just ignore it. Because he had helped me out BIG time, even though it risked him getting into trouble with Prof Mary as well.

I felt embarrassed if I didn't return the favor.

‘This doesn't mean you're ready to wave the white flag, Elena. But so you two can be square one. You may be poor, but your pride is priceless,’ I resolved.

I let out another heavy sigh before inserting the key into the lock of Room 304. Once inside, I kicked the door shut behind me and collapsed onto my small, creaking foam mattress.

I kept the room dark, leaving only the faint moonlight filtering through the window; it was easier for me to think this way.

Logically, I should hate him. I ‘did’ hate him. Didn’t I?

I winced, because now I wasn't so sure anymore.

‘But a promise is a promise, Elena.’

I rolled over, burying my face into the pillow, then groaned in frustration. ‘How am I supposed to look for a stone in a pond that huge? This is clearly bad luck and a suicide mission.’

I got up from the mattress, leaning my head out the window. From my third-floor vantage point, I could see the vastness of the university’s main pond. It was a large pond that looked peaceful during the day, but appeared utterly terrifying at night.

I took a glance at the digital clock on my desk.

23:14.

The campus curfew for freshmen was midnight. I still had forty-five minutes left. Staring blindly into that dark water, I would likely fail completely, but I could say directly to Julian Vega’s face that I tried.

I had a reason not to be a loser. Not now, not later, and never.

Tossing my pillow aside, I braced my resolve and grabbed my oversized flannel jacket, and also a small flashlight from the nightstand drawer.

"Great. Just great," I whispered, trying to press the switch. The beam was weak, flickering to emit a pathetic pale yellow light that could barely even illuminate my closet door. "This is going to be a disaster."

I slipped out of Room 304, locking the door as quietly as possible. The hallway was so silent, and the scuff of my shoes became so loud. I reflexively avoided looking at the door of Room 305.

Even though it was just a door, I already felt judged.

‘But seriously, has that guy fallen asleep so soundly while he successfully made me overthink his demand all night long?’ I protested internally.

There was no light coming from under the door. Or was he out somewhere with Valeria, laughing at how easily this townie girl could be toyed with?

I shook my head, clearing the thought. Not important. I just needed to pay my debt.

Once outside, I walked fast, my worn-out canvas shoes padding softly against the concrete. The wind began to blow hard, swaying the leaves of the willow trees, making me shiver from the cold. I pulled my flannel jacket tighter around my body, my mind drifting back to the library.

“Your Secret Admirer.”

The small yellow sticky note was still kept safely inside my bag upstairs. Who left it? The handwriting was very elegant and neat.

‘Julian?’

‘Pfft, your wish, Elena.’

‘But if not, who else?’

‘Okay, stop your overthinking, it's just a random act from someone fooling around,’ I concluded, closing the internal debate.

My steps had reached the edge of the pond. The pond water looked pitch black, reflecting the distorted silver light of the moon. The willow trees hung low, their branches swayed by the wind touching the surface of the water, creating eerie little ripples. I stepped closer to the concrete edge, peering down.

And doubt instantly hit me.

‘Are you crazy, Elena?’ I asked myself while groaning in frustration.

I turned on the flashlight. The weak yellow beam cut through the darkness, hitting the surface of the water. The light did not penetrate inside. It only reflected on top, showing nothing but floating algae and dead leaves.

I sighed, dropping my knees onto the cold and damp grass. I leaned my body forward, lowering the flashlight closer to the water, squinting my eyes behind my thick glasses until my eyes felt strained.

Trying to match every visible stone with my memory of a gray stone with our initials crudely carved into it using a rusty nail ten years ago.

The object could be anywhere within a hundred and fifty yard radius from where I threw it when my emotions exploded yesterday.

"Come on," I muttered, shifting the direction of the light a few inches to the left.

"This is truly a waste of effort," I grumbled when I saw all the stones looked exactly the same, but I was still stubborn enough to keep searching.

My knees began to feel numb. I shifted again, leaning a bit further past the concrete edge of the pond, making my center of gravity tilt dangerously forward.

SNAP.

A snapping branch was heard somewhere in the darkness behind me.

I gasped, my heart dropping to my stomach. Meanwhile, that damn flashlight actually flickered before dying completely. I was instantly enveloped in darkness.

"Who's there?" I called out, panicking but trying to sound tough.

I crawled backward, away from the water's edge, gripping the useless plastic flashlight like a weapon.

Silence. The only sound heard was the rustling of the willow leaves above my head. I narrowed my eyes, staring sharply toward the line of trees bordering the dark path. For a moment, I thought I saw a tall and dark silhouette blending into the shadows, but then the clouds shifted, covering the moon, and everything became pitch black.

Okay, this time I was truly panicking.

"Valeria?" I baited blindly. "If this is another one of your pathetic, stupid jokes, save it. I'm really not in the mood."

No one answered.

I took a long breath, ‘For the sake of my sanity, let's just assume that was a nocturnal animal.’

I stood up while smacking the flashlight hard against my palm, but the light stayed dead.

"Stupid piece of junk," I hissed, trying to distract myself, shoving it back into my pocket.

I looked back toward the vast black pond. Impossible. I could spend the next three years searching this reservoir and still not find that damn stone. Julian's threat echoed in my mind again. “A sore loser for the rest of your life.”

"Whatever," I whispered bitterly toward the pond water. "Let him think whatever he wants."

SNAP.

The sound of a snap was heard again, clearer this time, and I was sure this time it wasn't the sound of an animal. I looked up quickly and saw the culprit.

"Julian?" I breathed, unable to hide the sheer shock.

The clouds shifted, letting the moonlight wash over the six-foot-eight silhouette standing right in front of me. In a dripping wet state.

"W—what are you doing, Julian?" I asked, confused.

"No, what are ‘you’ doing out here at midnight? Want your name to appear in the campus obituaries?" Julian replied, evading.

I snapped instantly. How could he ask that when I came here precisely because of his demand!

"Because of your request, i***t! What else?" I fired back fiercely, then turned around, about to take off my shoes and go into the pond.

My action was stopped by Julian's hand pulling mine, then.

Clink.

An object was placed into my hand, a familiar object. That damn stone written with the letters 'E & J'. I practically gaped. Staring at Julian’s face with a look of disbelief.

"You... already took it?" I whispered, amazed.

Even more amazed upon realizing why his body was wet.

Julian sat down and looked exhausted. "What else could I do? This thing is valuable to me, El. I never let this object go. Not these past ten years, and never onwards."

And just like that, every single one of my assumptions shattered. He hadn't changed at all. I was the one who was wrong.