Trying
246 Words
Angie-
I sat in the bathroom crying as I realized, once again my monthly cycle started. My boyfriend, Ellis and I have been trying to get pregnant for four months and I thought this month would be the month. Why was this happening to me?
Ellis and I are not married, and I never plan to get married. The idea of a permanent relationship status has never interested me. Marriage and the idea of promising to stay together for life is archaic. Especially with a fifty percent chance of divorse; no thank you. In fact, even the titles of girlfriend/boyfriend was a little too much for me. It took Ellis nearly three years to convince me to accept it and another two to agree to live with him.
But I am so excited to become a mom! I thought by now, the test would be positive, maybe I’d be starting to show a little and I would definitely be well on the way to holding my baby in my arms. I want to experience the crazy cravings, even if they came with mood swings and nausea. I want to do the cliche gender reveal with my friends and family. I want to feel the kick of the baby and hear the heartbeat. I loved the idea of having a big round belly, with my baby safe inside me.
Thinking about all I was missing made me cry even harder. Would I ever get to experience pregnancy and becoming a mom?
- Writer
