The space between us

Chapter two.

Elizabeth had been crying for a few minutes when she suddenly felt warm arms wrapping themselves around her. For one unbelievable moment,she thought it was her mother,but when she looked, it turned out to be Esther.

Esther patted her on the head and squeezed her tightly in a warm hug. When she pulled away, it was to go and wash their breakfast plates. After washing them, she didn't turn the faucet the stop the water, but left it to continue pouring out, gurgling softly as it went down the drain. She always liked to hear the sound of water whenever she was crying or feeling sad because it was soothing and therapeutic. She felt it would help Elizabeth calm down. She turned it off when she stopped hearing Elizabeth's sobs.

When Esther turned, Elizabeth was wiping her eyes and nose with one of their dish towels. She made a mental note to throw it away.

"What irritating questions were you asking her?", Elizabeth asked her sister in a slightly shaky voice. She was making a brave effort to hold her hiccup in.

"I only asked if daddy was coming home today and she started behaving like a wounded beast. But whatever, I don't care. I'm already used to her nagging", Esther replied.

Elizabeth nodded.Her parents in the same place and at the same time,toxic combination,she thought. It wasn't very surprising that her mother was behaving-as Esther aptly said-like a wounded beast.

"How come you're not staying with Benjamin anymore?", Elizabeth asked to change the topic.

"He's sleeping... he's always sleeping these days", Esther replied, sounding a bit wistful.

Elizabeth felt awfully guilty about her brother's condition. She sucked her teeth and blinked rapidly to prevent tears from falling out of her eyes.

"Mummy's going out, I think daddy's coming home today. She's fidgeting so badly", Esther said.

"Hmmn", Elizabeth replied, unable to say anything else. She was still trying to prevent herself from crying as she thought about her brother, what happened on that dreadful day and his present condition. It would be embarrassing for both herself and Esther if she burst into tears again. She had already succumbed once to her emotions and wasn't planning on doing so again.

If only she had controlled her temper that day, she thought, if only Benjamin hadn't been his usually bratty, unpleasant self, maybe their stories would have been different now. They would probably have been expecting their father with excitement rather than with disconcertment and distaste. They would have a big family dinner when he finally arrived,and on Sunday,they would go for a family thanksgiving in church the way several other families did. They would be an happy family. But no, she just had to ruin it with her short temper and bad luck, she thought, expressing her mother's sentiment.

As she thought about it, she decided that Benjamin was also at fault. If he hadn't been so bratty and cheeky to her that day, none of these would be happening. And her parents too, they had indulged Benjamin's attitude and had spoiled him because he was the only boy. She wasn't the only one to blame for all that had happened, they all had a share in it. Even Esther had a share in the blame too because she had been present when everything was happening. If she had done or said something, Benjamin would have probably stopped being naughty,maybe even apologize.

No, she shook her head in an attempt to stop her train of thoughts. This blame game was unnecessary, what had happened had happened. Even if they all had a fault in everything that had happened,she, Elizabeth was still the one with the greatest fault. It was she who hadn't been able to control her anger, almost killing her brother in the process. Besides, she wasn't the one with the scar running down the side of her head, she wasn't the one with severe head trauma

She wasn't the one who wouldn't be able to live a normal life.

Elizabeth rubbed her face and decided that there wouldn't be any more unnecessary display of emotion from her anymore- that was what had gotten her here in the face place, stupid emotion, and display of it. She shook her head to clear it of lingering thoughts of blame towards her family and decided to put her free time to productive ventures, rather than mulling over spilt milk.

"I'm going to my room",she said to Esther.

"Hmmn, just keep your ears open", Esther advised.

Elizabeth gave her the thumbs up sign in response and walked out of the kitchen to her room. There, she lay face up on her bed, wanting to do her assignments but finding out that she had no urge to do it. She eventually picked up a novel that she had read before and started to re-read it. She prayed subconsciously that her mother wouldn't ask where she was-she knew that would earn her another tongue-lashing if he was discovered "lounging" and "being useless" in her room.

It seemed like her prayer was answered because it was hours later that she woke up to Esther shaking her not so gently.

"Wake up", Esther said, her voice tinted with ire."Why do you always sleep like you're dead?. I've been trying to wake you up for minutes",she complained.

"Sorry. I'm exhausted", Elizabeth said, yawning.

"Hmph, anyhow. Lunch is ready", Esther said and left the room.

Elizabeth rolled out of bed, staring blankly at the designs on the carpet in her room. She would have loved to return to sleep but she didn't want Esther to have to wake her up a second time. She grudgingly left her room and went to join her siblings in the parlour where they had already started eating.

"Someone is in a shitty mood", Elizabeth said after several minutes of silently observing her sister from the corner of her eye. Esther always seemed to start acting waspish after spending time taking care of their brother and Elizabeth had no idea why.

Esther remained quiet, chewing her food slowly and Elizabeth thought she wouldn't reply until she finally did.

"He's just so annoying",she said.

Benjamin shot her a nasty look.

"If I slap your face, you'll enter into a coma. Who are you looking at like that?", Esther berated harshly, glaring at him.

"Just ignore him", Elizabeth said, trying to smooth things over.

"Everybody's not like you who can ignore anything", Esther replied. "What makes me so mad is that mummy keeps treating him like an invalid, but he's completely okay if you ask me".

Elizabeth couldn't suppress her laughter. "Well, he isn't completely okay and you shouldn't be letting him get to you like this".

Esther scoffed."You can talk...you're not the one who has to babysit him for several hours".

"I can always help, you know that", Elizabeth said.

"I don't think she'd like that very much", Esther replied.

"Whatever.At least I offered", Elizabeth answered, suddenly angry. How was she supposed to get close to her brother if they weren't even going to allow her take care of him once in a while?. How would they get past what had happened between them if they were continually being closed out of each others lives?. It wasn't her fault that she had...injured her brother like that-well, maybe it was, but she didn't mean to.

"You think I don't want your help?. "I do, it's mummy I'm scared of", Esther said.

"I don't even care anymore. She can take him and put him in her handbag so I don't even get to see him if she likes", Elizabeth replied with affected nonchalance.

"Right", Esther laughed."Well, you can help me iron my uniform",she said with a bright smile, showing her teeth.

"Don't give me that fake smile, I'm not ironing anything".

"C'mon now. You said you wanted to help".

"You know how much I hate ironing clothes, even mine. I'll do the dishes instead".

"That's your work".

"Since when?", Elizabeth arched a brow as she asked.

"You're freaking impossible. Help me now", Esther whined. "Okay, fine. I'll gist you about what happened between Rita and Jojo",she offered.

"You think I care about your Humanities department drama?".

"I know you do".

"Do I?", Elizabeth teased."I'll have to think about it"she placed a finger on her chin and put on a contemplative look."Well,a part of me does",she finally conceded.

" I knew it", Esther laughed, "So, it's a deal?".

"Yeah, whatever", Elizabeth agreed, grateful for the opportunity to talk about something less sensitive than their sad family.