Chasing After Ashes

Chapter 2: Broken Ties

It turned out that it had been a few months since I broke down and secluded myself in my cottage. Not just days or weeks, but months where I hadn’t seen the light of day, trapped in my own mind where nothing could have reached me. No trouble nor good could have reached me.

Ever since I had surfaced back to reality and slowly integrated myself back to society by not going back under the mist, no matter how much I wanted to, I had no time for myself. I wasn’t left alone even for a second as I roamed the pack house, just trying to see if I could find something to do at the same time as I looked to see if something had changed while I was trapped in my nightmare.

Lilian or Elizabeth were always with me, dragging me everywhere they went around the house, even if all they were doing was getting a drink of water. No time for myself to be left alone with my thoughts and get pulled back under in the safe haven I had created, which was their goal, I was sure of it. Otherwise why else would they go the extra effort to make sure I was accompanied by either one of them?

Nothing much had changed, even the rest of the Reons pack avoided me the same as before. I knew they were still around, otherwise I wouldn’t have smelled their scents lingering around a few places in the house. Although I wonder why they hadn’t left yet and gone back to Osoria after all this time? Had something else happened to their homes while I was off in my own world?

Sadly, I couldn’t have asked Lilian or Elizabeth about this because every time I brought it up, they shot me down and changed the topic. They must thought it worked and I didn’t notice they avoided the topic at all but I did. After days of failing to get a legitimate answer from them, I was determined today to have my questions answered, no matter if I didn’t like what they will tell me.

However, the moment I woke up today, I found a breakfast tray and a note lying on my bedside table that said Elizabeth and Lilian were going to be busy for the whole day. Today of all days when I was determined to get answer, they decided to leave me alone. After days of hoping I have a moment to myself where they weren’t firmly at my side, now when I actually wanted them around, they weren’t here.

They might have sensed I was going to bombard them with questions today which was why they took off and left me alone. With nothing else to do and filled with the need to get answers about the Reons pack, I trudged back to the pack house, hoping to find either one of them immediately.

I still wanted to avoid the topic of my Rosewood pack altogether, but I wouldn’t be able to bear it if something else had happened to the Reons pack and the others just because I was a coward, so afraid to know the truth because I know I wouldn’t be able to bear it. I wouldn’t know what to do if something had happened, something I could have prevented if I wasn’t a coward, which was why I wanted to know the truth.

As I walked, my body still slowly getting used to the feeling of being up and about, I remembered what happened yesterday when I had shifted again and joined the Alcatrozz pack for their hunt. My bones felt stronger in my other form, freer, as if nothing could have come to harm me if I stayed in that form. Even the truth didn’t seem to matter because the problems which had caused a never-ending turmoil in my body seemed nothing but a distant dream.

It was a nice night to hunt and join a pack to be the beasts that we were, except for the glaring annoyance I had that kept dogging me the whole time. Back when I was trapped in the arms of the nightmare, I distinctly remembering thinking about my problems that could be classified as either something which would remain confusing no matter how long time passed or something I would eventually come to understand.

Unfortunately, one of my problems was the i***t who belonged to the former, someone I couldn’t comprehend no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t shake him off no matter how many times I got away from him, even when the entire pack was hunting, I felt him constantly around me when he should have been looking for prey. I didn’t think he considered me one, because no matter how pathetic I had been acting these past few months, it would be a huge blunder if he thought he could take me on just because of how pitiful I was acting.

As I turned around the corner of the mansion heading to the kitchen, I quickened my stride like I was casually trying to run away from somebody—because I was. It was annoying how he had been following me around these past few days like he was attached to my hip, even when Lilian and Elizabeth were with me, he didn’t leave me alone.

The hairs on my arm rose and gooseflesh appeared as I sensed he was right behind me. The kitchen was only a meter away when I remembered it didn’t have a door I could lock to prevent him from entering. Sighing, I slowed my pace and gave up of throwing him off my tail today. It wasn’t worth the effort to worry about him when there were so many things I should be focusing on.

I was almost to the kitchen when he caught up with me, a grin playing on his face even as he breathed a little harder than usual. Sweat glistened his skin, a few beads of it trailing down his face. Had he been running? I thought as I watched him wipe it off, the grin never leaving his face.

“Are you busy today?” The question caught me off guard, making me narrow my eyes at him, wondering what he was up to. Even when they knew me as a human, I noticed that the pack hadn’t hunted this close together. It hadn’t even been a week since the last game, so it couldn’t be that he was asking because of it.

He laughed, the sound so happy it sent pleasant shivers down my body that I skillfully ignored. “No need to look at me like that. I was just going to ask if you wanted to go out today.”

The no was already at the tip of my tongue when he laughed again, shaking his head that his blonde curls framed his face. “I had nothing bad in mind, just that I needed someone with me because I would be meeting with the enforcer for the Thyranos pack. My father and everyone else is busy today, so he’s sending me in his stead.”

“Then shouldn’t you be going now?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at him.

“But I—“ he started then cut himself off as realization dawned on him, “Right, I forgot you don’t know much about pack rules. I can’t go meet another werewolf from a pack we have no sort of alliance or understanding with, alone. It would be suicide if I did that and something happened, an ambush or something else. So usually, there would be more than two people on both ends that would be meeting, to ensure safety. It’s not really much of a rule, just common sense since no one can really know what would happen if the discussion goes horrible.”

“Okay, but why are you asking me?”

“I thought it might be a nice change of pace from your usual to go out. You won’t need to say anything, just be with me and I’d do all the talking.”

I still wasn’t convinced. No matter how busy the pack was today, if he had wanted it, I was sure that Hans could have spared one or two of his wolves for this meeting that Tate would be going to, especially if it was as important as what he was saying.

What I was thinking must have been obvious on my face because Tate spoke quickly, “Everyone really is busy today so no one could come with me. But even if they were able to, I would still want you to accompany me on this.” He stopped talking as if what he said made sense. Maybe to him, but I wasn’t sure why he said what he said because the guy was confusing as hell.

“Why?”

Both his eyebrows rose in surprise, as if he couldn’t believe I even had to ask. I wanted to thump him right on his head because I wouldn’t have asked him if I knew. “You’re strong. No matter how badly this meeting might go, Wendell would have to think twice if he decided it wasn’t worth it dealing with us.”

I flinched, hearing the trust in his voice that I would make a difference if things go badly. I didn’t want that kind of responsibility back on my shoulders because if I really was as strong as I thought I was, then I wouldn’t have wasted these past few months in my own world, ignoring what was happening with the rest of the world. However, I couldn’t keep myself off from wondering about my pack, the Reons, and the others today if I was left alone, so maybe it would be better if I really was doing something else.

Wondering if I was making a mistake, I nodded my head in agreement at Tate. “When is it?”

“Right now, we’re already running behind so it would be best if we left quickly.” He gestured for me to walk before him, back into where I came from, away from the kitchen. Suspicion crawled inside me as I watched him smile at me, rushing me to leave as soon as possible with him.

It didn’t seem like the meeting was the only reason he had for inviting me out, because then wouldn’t he have told me earlier and not just sprung this on me on the day that I was determined to get answers yet everyone was oddly busy? What were they even busy about?

The kitchen seemed a good place to start looking because Tate was determined to keep me away from it. I had to check even if he said we were already late. What harm could a few more minutes have done? We were already late anyway so it would be fine if I satisfied my curiosity and see what Tate was determined to keep me away from.

My mind made up, I abruptly I turned away and headed into the kitchen to see what could be there. “Wait, we have to leave now! Where are you going?” Tate’s hand almost grasped my shoulders but I moved faster to avoid it and see what he was on about.

When I entered the kitchen, I saw bags upon familiar bags stacked on the right side near the alcove. The members of the Reons pack who I hadn’t seen nor hide or hair since I got back from being kidnapped were all gathered on the counter, eating their breakfast.

Nicole’s blonde hair were much longer now, curling softly past her shoulders and Justin’s previously bald head had a healthy three inches of brown hair. Frederick was feeding his son, Hugh, on the dining table. The sweet kid glanced at me as he was about to take a bite of his cereal before he quickly turned back to his food and his father. Frederick hadn’t changed, but Hugh was much taller now.

Daniel and Lilian weren’t around, but their son was. Train was sitting on the counter, looking the same as I remembered him to be a few months ago, much unlike the guy who sat beside him. Rastor.

He looked like he did when he came to my cottage, but this time the haze didn’t hinder my sight or my mind. I could see stress had lined his forehead, his face seemed much sharper than it was before, losing the charming bit of chubbiness in his cheeks before. He seemed to have aged a few years since I had last seen him and I could guess why. The stress of knowing who had caused the destruction to their pack, the knowledge he was nice to me to the point that he liked me more than he should, someone who was not just a member of the murderous pack, but was related to them.

I couldn’t have fault him on it no matter how much I thought about it, because the Rosewood pack blood was running in my veins. But that didn’t mean I was going to take his anger lying down. No matter how well-deserved his anger at me felt for being related to a bunch of murderers, it wasn’t like I chose to be born in that pack. If I could have changed my parents, my family, and my past, I would have done so already.

So no, I wasn’t going to let him off easy. On top of the turmoil which constantly raged on inside me, I didn’t want to add him to it, to the list of problems I had which wouldn’t be solved any time soon.

I had been waiting for this moment for days now, something which had kept on being put off because every one of them except for Lilian were avoiding me.

As I was about to open my mouth, ready to tell them off, someone placed their hand on my shoulder. “We have to go now.”

Tate, again. A spark of anger flashed inside me as the annoyance at being bothered, pestered yet again by this guy seemed to have no end. Did he think he had a right to be pushing me around just because he was my mate? He rejected me, something which was still fresh in my mind as if it had just happened yesterday, and now he’s interrupting me when I finally would be able to give a piece of my mind to Rastor and the others.

A growl escaped my lips as I felt the familiar anger course through my veins as I stared at him. “Don’t you dare boss me around, not now, not ever.”

He exhaled loudly, raising his hand to his hair and combing it back in exasperation. “I am not bossing you around. If you can’t understand what I’m doing, then that’s on you but we do have to leave now. Wendell wouldn’t appreciate waiting this long on us and it wouldn’t reflect well on our pack if we don’t meet him soon.”

“f**k Wendell!” I yelled, the words coming out of my mouth before I could have prevented it. Now that I had said it though, I didn’t regret it one bit. Who cares what an enforcer of another pack I didn’t know nor care about, was hurt or annoyed that we didn’t show up on time? It didn’t matter. Not when the pack I considered my family were going to be leaving, probably forever.

They were going to be leaving and they wouldn’t be taking me with them. No, they wouldn’t. They didn’t even bother telling me they were going away. Was this all I was worth to them? A speck of annoyance in their lives, nobody worth talking or interacting with. If I had left with Tate without noticing that he was hiding something from me, I wouldn’t have seen them or even known they had left until somebody—probably Tate—finally gave in from my pestering and told me.

The reality that this was now the state of my relationship with them was too much that I felt like the arms of the phantasm I had wrapped myself around for months like a safety blanket were pulling me back. But I couldn’t have fallen down that deep-end again, not when they were in front of me and could see how pathetic I really was. So I steeled myself, hoping with everything I had left in me that I looked like I wasn’t about to break into pieces at any moment.

Pretending that the knowledge of them leaving had affected me, I took in every inch of their faces which showed absolutely no emotions. It would have been better if they looked angry at me, insulted me, or did anything else besides stare at me as if I was nothing but a speck of dust on their shoes. “Take care,” I said before turning away and leaving.

As I was almost at the archway out the kitchen, I heard Rastor say, “We know how to take care of ourselves. Don’t think we are like you.”

The sharpness in his voice made me snap my head back to stare at him, and I saw a hardness in his face that said he wasn’t kidding. I saw Nicole had her mouth slightly opened, as if she couldn’t believe what he said. I wouldn’t have expected words that were as sharp as blades to have come out of someone I was close to before, but they had.

Tate who was behind me stepped forward, a snarl lifting the corners of his lips as he cracked his knuckles, staring at Rastor. The shock at being treated this way by him of all people, and with Nicole, somebody I thought I was close to as well not speaking up or doing anything about it, rendered me speechless that I turned away and left.

No need to stay and let them see how much more of his words and their actions had affected me. If he and the rest of them were going to treat me this way, then I should stop caring about them now. As I reached the front door and stepped out, the numbness of the familiar nightmare began to creep into my bones, ready to pull me back under but I pushed it away.

Too many things had already gone wrong in my life, most of which I had resolutely fought back against and some in which I had let myself to succumb into but I wouldn’t let this be one of the reasons why I was going to take a reprieve from the world again. I had to start treating myself better and not let the problems push me over and under the edge again.

From now on, I was going to be unapologetically me and damn anyone who had a problem with who I am, my family, and anything else about me.

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For those of you who have read up to this point, Chasing After Ashes is the Book 2 of the Rosewood Trilogy. The first book is Alpha, Do I Know You? Kindly see link here for Book 1: https://www.dreame.com/novel/1964802.html

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'Til next time guys! Hope everyone enjoyed this. :)