Just a ghost girl

My gift

"So what is your gift?" she asked again.

Rebecca's words kept bouncing inside my head. I had the mark like she and Mateo had and I could clearly remember always having it. There were many memories where Matteo said that we are specials. It had to mean that I also had a gift. 

"I don't remember," I said.

Silence fell between us. Why couldn't I remember what was my gift? Was I strong or did I have a gift that hardly showed like Rebecca's? Although I would have appreciated detecting how people were feeling.  It was so hard sometimes to understand people. And whether I had offended them or not. Maybe that's why Rebecca was so uncomfortable with me because she was used to understanding how people felt around her. 

"So how does your gift work?" I asked, "Do you see colours or are you able to feel what the other person feels?"

Rebecca seemed glad that I gave her a reason to talk. I wondered had the silence between us been uncomfortable for her. 

"It is hard to describe. I think it is more that I feel what other people feel but I can tell that they aren't my feelings. People's feelings are always complicated hardly ever they feel just one thing at a time."

I nodded. Feelings were hard. 

"Are everyone in our glass gifted?"

Rebecca nodded as an answer. It kind of confirmed that I had a gift too. 

"Why can't I remember what is my gift?" I asked out loud.

Rebecca shook her head.

"Do you know all of the other's gifts?" I asked.

She shook her head again.

"Not all want to share their gift. Others brag about them but most of us want to keep them hidden so that people don't see us as freaks. Many people feel uncomfortable around me if they know about my gift." 

I nodded again. So that's why she didn't know my gift. I had for some reason kept it a secret. Which probably meant that my gift was something embarrassing or stupid. How great. First, you remember being gifted one and next to that your gift is kind of lame and an embarrassment.

"Have you any idea what my gift could be?" I asked again.

She looked thoughtful for a moment but shook her head after a while of thinking.

"Maybe you can ask your parents?" she said. "They would probably know wouldn't hey?"

Not my parents but Matteo would definitely know otherwise he wouldn't say that we were special. Now there was one more thing I wanted to ask him. The list just seemed to grow up. Soon it would take a year to talk everything I wanted with him and he would only have a minute to spare with me. How annoying it made me feel.

"Are you annoyed?" Rebecca asked.

"Yes," I said. "It is very annoying not to remember things. Did you feel it?"

She nodded slowly.

"Very faintly," she said. "It's kind of fascinating." 

It didn't feel fascinating for me. Although it was nice to know that I had feelings, that an empath could detect. It must mean that I wasn't a robot and I really had a body somewhere, hopefully. 

"I have an idea," Rebecca said suddenly.

She looked very excited. 

"I'm all ears," I answered.

"The gifts are with us from birth. So without the mark, it is hard to know if you are gifted because you are always been like that. And if it is only the past year you cannot remember maybe you can think back to your childhood. Was there anything you were doing that seems odd."

It was a kind of a good plan. I started to remember the childhood games we had been playing. Most of the time we had been running me always looking at Matteo's back. Had he had blonde hair as a child? When had they darkened? Well, I could wonder that later. But what I could remember was lifting a lot of heavy objects.

"Maybe I'm extra strong," I said after a while, "I can remember lifting heavy objects like rocks and stocks. "

For a moment Rebecca looked a little bit disappointed but then she smiled. Maybe it wasn't a very fancy gift to have as a woman. To be stronger than any man. Luckily Matteo never seemed to be bothered by my gift. He had actually asked me to lift most of the things.

"And maybe that is why I couldn't remember it first," I continued, "Since I cannot touch anything."

Rebecca nodded.

"Maybe," she said. "Do you want to continue playing?"

I looked at the chessboard and nodded. Although I didn't feel like playing anymore. It had been fun to play and chat with Rebecca but now I needed a little bit of time by myself. Even though I could remember now lifting heavy objects something felt off. Being extra strong just didn't feel right but what else could my gift be? It had to do something with lifting things.

We played couple more games. Rebecca had become quite good at it and was already a little challenge to win her. If I hadn't liked winning so much it might have been a good idea to let her win once. But maybe this way she might become better and beat me with her skills next time. 

"I have to go now," she said, "My mom is making dinner for the whole family. Normally I would invite you but..."

"Well I don't eat so it might be odd for your family that I just stand there staring at them eating. But maybe after I get my body back."

She smiled and nodded:

"Of course. I'll put this away."

She took the chess game and put it back in its original place. When she stood up she looked at my tablet and said:

"There is a message for you."

I stood up and went to the tablet. The message was from a number that wasn't saved on my tablet. But well there was only Nicola's and my parent's numbers so it wasn't that odd.

"Could you open it for me?" I asked.

How lucky I was that Rebecca was here. The sender didn't probably know about my condition. Without Rebecca, I wouldn't have been able to open the message.

"Here you go," I said.

I looked at the tablet. It was a message from Matteo. He would like to hang out tomorrow evening. There was a time and place where we should meet marked. I needed to read the message a couple of times because I could hardly believe what I was reading.

"Could you write back thumb up emoji?" I asked Rebecca. 

"Of course," she said and send the emoji.

"Thank you!"

"I'll be going then," she said.

"Yes, maybe we will see some other time?" I asked.

I had really liked hanging out with her. Not just that the end had been almost perfect for getting a message from Matteo, but also otherwise. 

"I would like that," she said, "Is it okay if I just drop by some other time?"

"Sure," I answered, "Most of the time I'm here or just wandering somewhere 

She laughed and left. After Rebecca closed the door I let myself be excited. Matteo and I would meet tomorrow. It was finally happening for us to getting back together.